C Boardman: | O hai! I am TV's Nice C Boardman and I am made ov teh Win! |
S Brotherton: | O hai! I am TV's S Brotherton and I, also, am made ov teh Win! |
Omnes: | Get tae fck, u2! We want TV's N Boulting and Super D Millar 4 teh funneh! |
T Dumoulin: | O hai! I am T Dumoulin and I am...hang on! This iz teh road race! WTF? I iz so out of here! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | O hai! I am Jarlin J Jarlinsson, teh Columbian Viking, and I am teh only member ov teh break known to have much in teh way ov teh Win! |
S Geschke: | Get tae fck, Jar-Jar! I pwned a stage ov teh Tour de France b4 ne1 had ever heard ov u! And I haz teh Hipster Beard! |
JJ Jarlinsson: | Did he call me "Len Jar-Jar"? I will kill u utterly 2 DETH 4 that, S Geschke! |
M Albacini: | If ur teh hipster, S Geschke, y u not ride brakeless fixie wif teh Stupidz cut-down bars? LOL!!1! |
| [Later] |
T Cobbles: | O hai! We are teh Cobbles. and not, praise be, teh Cobblestones! C us pwn teh unfortunates wif our l33t pelican-decimating 5k1llz! Peloton! |
Omnes: | Snake! Snake! |
B Mollema: | Piss! |
GV Avermaet: | Arse! |
| [Quite a lot later...] |
C Boardman: | O hai! I, Evil C Boardman, hav just had teh lunch! Lobster salad, tournedos Rossini and a bottle ov teh '47! Om nom, nom and, moreover, nom! |
S Brotherton: | You utter git, Evil C Boardman! All teh Bee Bee See gave me was a warm can ov teh local 7-Up knockoff and 2 stale custard creams! |
T Cobbles: | We're BAAAACK! O hai, pelican! Take that! And that and that and that! Peloton! |
Omnes: | Do not repeat yoreself, boy! |
| [After Evil C Boardman's lengthy break 4 coffee, brandy & cigars...] |
R Porte: | WTF & FFS, T Cobbles! Ya mongrel! |
S Cummings: | Bored now! U can haz go if u think ur hard enuff! |
C Froome: | Hullo clouds hullo $ky hullo stem! I am C Froome and I am made ov teh Win! Oh. Piss! |
C Boardman: | OOH AND, MOREOVER, YIKES! C FROOME IS... |
S Brotherton: | Iz teh replay, C Boardman! U should go & sleep it off under teh bananananana tree! |
C Boardman: | MUNKEH!!1! Hic! |
| [Very much later...] |
S Cummings: | Bored now. |
JJ Jarlinsson: | Piss! |
S Geschke: | Arse! |
P Gilbert: | FFS! |
G Thomas: | You can't see China from up here! Money back plz! |
| [Even later than that...] |
R Porte: | FFS! What drongo wrote this bloody script? |
V Nibbles: | Game on! |
F Aru: | A-rooooooooooooo! |
A Yates: | Piss and, moreover, NOT FAIR! |
A Valverde: | Arse! |
C Froome: | Bum-grapes! |
V Nibbles: | Ha! I, V Nibbles, will show u how 2 desc...oh! Cock! |
J Alaphilippe: | RAAAWW...oh, never mind! |
G Thomas: | Where's a telegraph pole when u need 1? |
R Majka: | O hai! Remember me, R Majka? Made ov teh Win? Spottyjumper in teh Tour ov France? And now this. Wot a turn-up 4 teh books, eh, readers? |
GV Avermaet: | O RLY? |
J Birdsong: | O RLY? |
GV Avermaet: | Ha! Teh Win! |
J Birdsong: | Piss! |
R Majka: | [Speechless] |
P Sagan: | Wooo! That was crazy! |
Omnes: | Shut up, P Sagan! |