I'm not usually the off-road type; I used to be scared of gravel on tarmacked corners. This was different however; it was a race on my farm that I designed. A once in a lifetime opportunity if you will. Plus of course, I had showers a 5 minute ride from the start which would be the most valuable thing of all!
In the past, riders had complained that the course wasn't very technical. I took that as a challenge! This year the course was full of drops into dry ponds (lots of loose topsoil), bumpy windy tracks through woods and the piece de resistance: a climb up the side of a ditch followed by 100meters of boggy mud.
When watching the youngest riders, I must admit that I was somewhat worried that they just weren't coated enough in mud and that perhaps I should have added in some really muddy sections for them. Perhaps next year I thought.
Then the warm-up laps.
This was tame thought I; I'm riding alongside the club off-road champ without any issues. Hell, I'd go as far as to say it's easy. It was about this time that I thought that I might not place too badly. About this time I began to formulate a plan; start at the back, ride hard see how far forwards you can get.
Next the sharp sound of a whistle in the distance and everyone made for the start.
Fast guys to the front, me to the back next to the girl with a mechanical issue and the guy on the mountain bike with a BMX helmet.
Then the whistle. Waiting to move. And we're off. Slowing down to a track stand on the first corner as everyone goes through single file. Back up to speed. "On your left" as I undertake. "On your right"; I'm overtaking this time. I get two in the next overtake. Brakebrakebrake, sharp right. Jump off. Jump log. Hop back on. Jump off for the ditch. Run through the mud. I'm on foot still, overtaking bikes fishtailing through the mud. Curse as I slowly get back on the bike and lose several places. "On your left" - there go another 5 riders. Club mates in the distance. allezALLEZallez. "On your left" and they're behind. Easy gear. U turn. Grind up slope. Shift into big ring. Fly down long drag. Team mates long gone now. Argh. loose apples. Into the woods. Tight left. Tight right. Back wheel's got a mind of it's own. Out of the woods. Slow through 5 hairpins. Too slow. Club mates are back. Blast past the finish line to start another lap. Only another 52 minutes to go!
As the clock ticks down my energy levels go with it. "On your right"; people who I overtook are now overtaking me. "On your left". "Which side's left?" He overheard me and gave me a casual tap on the left. The corners that you could once speed through are now only possible at ultra-low speed and your back end still kicks out. 5 times the bike fell on the ground. Somehow I managed to avoid hitting the dirt at all. One of my team mates wasn't so lucky when he hit my bike on the floor. The 5 hairpins gradually become 4 as posts are knocked over. As I headed into the wood on lap 7, I begin to see static as my vision becomes cloudy. There are now only 3 hairpins! In the distance there's a chequered flag waving. "Is it over?" "It is over." "IT'S OVER!".
Cyclocross - if you ever feel that you're not quite dirty enough and that you like pain in hour long sessions, it's the sport for you.
NB. the club champ who I rode easily with at the start; the only time I saw him was when he lapped me 5 laps in!
