TV Licence - OFFICIAL NOTICE

[sam]

As we still have no record of a TV Licence at this address, by law we have no option but to continue with our investigation. You should now expect a visit from Maidstone Enforcement Officers.

They'll never take me alive.

[meddyg]

Tectonic plates are still shifting (vide recent Iceland updates).

I  believe progress in this department is glacial.

They'll never find you.

[rogerzilla]

I prefer the Unofficial Notice.  That's the one that comes through the window, wrapped around a brick, and is made up from letters cut from newspaper headlines.

pAY uS OR wE BreAK uR LeGS, l0vE CaPITa

[Beardy]

I keep getting emails from them claiming that my TV license needs renewing. I delete them.

[ian]

To be fair to them, since we cancelled our licence they've left us unbothered.

Instead, we now get them addressed to the company that used to be registered at this address.

[rogerzilla]

Is that by any chance Dr Ian's Marital Aids?

[ian]

Is that by any chance Dr Ian's Marital Aids?

Yes, I certainly tell my wife those silicone items are for business research. Also makes them tax deductible. Our proximity to the Area 69 Dildo Proving Grounds means there's no shortage. Sometimes there's a faint hum and vibration from that direction, which is either the neighbours or a prototype giant, nuclear-powered 101-function vibrator.

The previous occupants of The Asbestos Palace were, ironically, set designers and builders, they did several sets for the BBC (they left some of the plans in the loft).

[rogerzilla]

Might he worth reactivating the business.  We start Saturday bike rides from Rodbourne Road in Swindon, and we noticed only today that Intimate Torment, Swindon's own BDSM emporium, has closed down.

EDIT: Curiosity got the better of me and they have moved to larger premises!

https://www.intimatetorment.co.uk/

[sam]

Intimate Torment

For the sake of customers into sitophilia (alas not a paraphilia involving chairs), I trust they cater to the gluten intolerant.

To be fair to them, since we cancelled our licence they've left us unbothered.

I could've gotten in touch with Capita like they want me to, but I've enjoyed their letters over the last 10 years, and would miss them if they stopped.

In the event an enforcement officer ever does visit, I hope he doesn't get stuck in our long, picturesque but treacherous driveway, which can happen when I forget to give instructions on how to exit the property. I surely wouldn't want him to waste half a day awaiting rescue when he could be off misrepresenting his powers to other people.

It's a date
Let me in (written for an American audience)

[Arminius]

Might he worth reactivating the business.  We start Saturday bike rides from Rodbourne Road in Swindon, and we noticed only today that Intimate Torment, Swindon's own BDSM emporium, has closed down.

EDIT: Curiosity got the better of me and they have moved to larger premises!

https://www.intimatetorment.co.uk/

I read that as Intimate Torrent.