Do you play for them, Basil?
Ah. You've rumbled the secret of their success.
As a lightning quick striker, I actually scored every single one of their goals. I'm also an astonishingly good goal keeper and so play both roles. This obviously involves a lot of sprinting from one end of the pitch to the other. The only reason that any goal was scored against us was because one of our players got in my way on my return to the box.
When I first had a trial for them, the manager told me that he would let me start the first half.
"Then I'll pull you off at halftime", he said.
"Crikey", I said, "At my last club we just got half an orange."