Last night, as I was falling asleep, I heard a mysterious but rather loud noise. Sort of thing that you'd get if the contents of a distant shelf had been catted, a burglar had climbed in the kitchen window and disturbed the washing-up[1], or if your recently re-grouted tiles had spontaneously decided to sever themselves from the wall.
I sat up, noted the absence of blinkenlights consistent with the kitchen window scenario and wondered about going to check the bathroom tiles. Then it happened again. With the benefit of alertness and unimpeded stereo hearing, I was able to determine that it was coming from outside the window and sounded suspiciously like rubble dislodged by something heavy climbing on a dodgy outbuilding roof or a toilet being flushed into a disconnected soil stack[2].
I moved to the window and peered out. Nothing to see. The flushing noise again. This time, accompanied by spitting. I noticed the adjacent neighbours' first-floor window was open, with light coming from inside. A shadow moved. Dry heaving. "Oh." I thought.
By this point barakta had woken up and inserted her hearing aid, in case of burglars. I explained what I had learned. "Eew" she said, "let's go back to sleep." I went for a pee and checked on the tiles, just in case, and then joined her.
[1] DAHIKT
[2] DAHIKT either.