The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[Diver300]

Kilns are horrible things. MrsH has one for glass work, that lived in the garage. I spent ages trying to sort out a thermocouple error. It intermittently complained that the thermocouple was reversed.

Eventually, it turned out that if it was below freezing, the controllers's programming couldn't cope with the initial negative temperature (as in, it was putting heat in, but the temperature absolute value in Celsius is decreasing as it approaches zero from the negative side). So after a few minutes it would decide there was a fault and shut down. The short term solution was to go back outside after a few minutes to see if it had errored, and restart it. In that case, the heater had put enough heat into it that it was now above zero so didn't error again.
The slightly better solution was to find space for the kiln in the house so waste heat went into raising our dining room temperature rather than losing it in the garage.

That is some truly terrible programming.

Is there demand for a "Programming that makes you cringe" thread?

I would have lots of material for that.
Quite a lot of that material would have been written by someone who wasn't me.

[TheLurker]

Is there demand for a "Programming that makes you cringe" thread?

There's a whole web site ... https://thedailywtf.com

And the reason I dropped by.  Don't dope tissue in v. v. hot weather.  The solvent evaporates so quickly it turns to porridge on the wing/fuselage/whatever leaving horrid brush marks.  Bum.

[quixoticgeek]

A friend gave me a skirt. It's long, and light, and made of linen and it's really comfy in this heat. It also has pockets! Pockets!!!

I'm not used to having skirts with pockets and didn't check them befor I put it in the washing machine.

My wallet is now very clean... Fortunately the only casualty is my Lego VIP card.

J

[quixoticgeek]

Minor divery.

The bar tape on my bike got damaged by a moron of an NS train guard. So It needed to come off, and go back on.

Turns out when I put this tape on I put the two sides of rape on in different directions (or the same direction depending on how you look at it). So one side is wrapped outside to in, and one is wrapped inside to out. Not sure wtf I was thinking when I did this.

J

[andrewc]

Not me, but my 86 year old mother.   She put a wheat bag in the microwave to heat up.  By the sound of things she didn't put it in the middle of the platter & it got jammed against the inner wall of the el cheapo microwave & melted a hole in it...  luckily my sister smelt the smoke......

[Jurek]

The stainless drainer by my sink builds up a layer of limescale quite quickly.
The water round here is harder than Don Logan.
The preferred method of removal is to cover it with a couple of layers of kitchen paper, douse well with limescale remover, leave for a couple of hours and then simply wipe the entire gritty gunk away.
I did this earlier today.
I then decided to up the dose of limescale remover.
Only using......... Vanish.
WTAF?
That's for taking stains out of my clothing.
Which may suffer, but not usually from limescale.

[jsabine]

I then decided to up the dose of limescale remover.
Only using......... Vanish.

IRTA Varnish. That *would* have been divvery.

[andrewc]

Went to the Co-op on Myrtle St, bought some shopping, put my debit card in a trouser pocket with my phone.  On the way back at the junction of Myrtle St & Grove St I took the phone out of my pocket to take a pic of some flats being demolished.  When I got home I couldn't find the card.   Retraced my route & asked in the shop but no sign of it.   Luckily the phone app makes it simple to cancel & order a new one.   

[Kim]

Someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll refer to as 'barakta', has bogwashed her hearing aid...

It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA^[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.


_{[1] Not BEER.}

[Beardy]

Someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll refer to as 'barakta', has bogwashed her hearing aid...

It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA^[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.


_{[1] Not BEER.}

Hopefully the hearing aid clinic will also carry a stock of CI HAs as it does regular HAs.

[Kim]

Hopefully the hearing aid clinic will also carry a stock of CI HAs as it does regular HAs.

It's a BAHA not a CI processor, but it seems to suffer from the same problem where they're expensive enough to be purchased on a case-by-case basis, which means that if you need one in a hurry, they're scrabbling around for whatever old ones (likely with undocumented minor faults) they have in a drawer.

Fortunately, barakta has two.  And only uses one the vast majority of the time (two are occasionally useful for filling in the other side, but mostly it's just more noise).

And she's already got an appointment in a couple of weeks time to be upgraded to the New! Shiny! thinks-it's-even-more-cleverer-than-you latest model, which she will inevitably hate because of some combination of: AGC, inability to give her a sharp response peak at 1kHz, stateful beep-based UI, over-reliance on The Devil's Other Radio, general fiddliness and a lack of physical buttons.  (Seriously, the only thing worse than barakta swearing at Microsoft/Adobe products, is barakta with a new hearing aid.  She's also not wrong.)

[Cudzoziemiec]

Someone who shall remain nameless, but we'll refer to as 'barakta', has bogwashed her hearing aid...

It's had the battery removed, poo washed off, been given a thorough squirting of IPA^[1] and is now getting the warm dry air treatment in the back of the server rack.  I'm not hopeful.


_{[1] Not BEER.}

More appropriate for a hearing aid would be the other, other IPA; International Phonetic Alphabet.

And I don't know barakta's opinions on spiders:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ipa_(spider)

[barakta]

To be fair, this was me using TWO hearing aids for the first time in ages... Hence knocking it off into said flushing bog. Seems to be too heavy to flush tho, but took me a while to find it.

Not sure it'll recover either, but we can but try.

[Steph]

Waiting for the end of July for a Pride event I am speaking at, on the 28th, in Bootle,

Sitting at home at  1600 hrs on Tuesday (June 27th) and phone goes.

"You joining us tomorrow?"

[Mrs Pingu]

Back when I was travelling to the US regularly I was forced to perfect the art of opening beer bottles on a table top while simultaneously not knowing what the strange thing in the bathroom was for. It was on my final trip I twigged it was a bottle opener.
Fast forward a several of years and tonight I decide to celebrate having survived 2 weeks with other people with a couple of bottles in the comfort of my hotel room.
Of course this one doesn't have a bottle opener, despite having a wee shoppe in the lobby selling bottled beer. 

[T42]

And of course everyone knows that bottle-openers are kept in the bathroom.

[rafletcher]

Back when I was travelling to the US regularly I was forced to perfect the art of opening beer bottles on a table top while simultaneously not knowing what the strange thing in the bathroom was for. It was on my final trip I twigged it was a bottle opener.
Fast forward a several of years and tonight I decide to celebrate having survived 2 weeks with other people with a couple of bottles in the comfort of my hotel room.
Of course this one doesn't have a bottle opener, despite having a wee shoppe in the lobby selling bottled beer. 

Ah bid do the bottles have twist off crown caps?

[T42]

Too active, the beer in twist-offs: uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.

[PaulF]

Back when I was travelling to the US regularly I was forced to perfect the art of opening beer bottles on a table top while simultaneously not knowing what the strange thing in the bathroom was for. It was on my final trip I twigged it was a bottle opener.
Fast forward a several of years and tonight I decide to celebrate having survived 2 weeks with other people with a couple of bottles in the comfort of my hotel room.
Of course this one doesn't have a bottle opener, despite having a wee shoppe in the lobby selling bottled beer. 

Ah bid do the bottles have twist off crown caps?

Which reminds me of when I used to live in the US and got accustomed to twist off crown caps. All was going well until the day I bought a pack of non-twist beers and tried to twist the cap off.

[Mr Larrington]

There was one o' these



in my room in Lone Pine CA back in 2014.  Prior to that I hadn’t seen one since the pre-ringpull era, when one was included in every 24-can slab of Tiger sold by the NAAFI in Hong Kong.

[robgul]

There was one o' these



in my room in Lone Pine CA back in 2014.  Prior to that I hadn’t seen one since the pre-ringpull era, when one was included in every 24-can slab of Tiger sold by the NAAFI in Hong Kong.

I remember when people kept one of those on a bunch of keys - played havoc with the pocket linings in your trousers.    I still use an opener like that for the odd thing, mainly industrial - it's branded from "the beer that made Milwaukee famous"

[ElyDave]

I used to have one of the tin openers from military rat-packs as a key-ring, again, played havoc with trousers

[Mrs Pingu]

I do have a Brewdog bottle opener in one of my bags, just not the one I am travelling with now. Pingu also has a belt with a bottle opener in the buckle.

[ElyDave]

Don't forget certain train roofs as well

[Mrs Pingu]

?