My Flatmates - I don't mind you borrowing my plates/pots etc but please WASH THEM UP WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED!!!
At a supermarket, in the check out, pack your food in the bags as they have been scanned. DO NOT leave a whole week's family shopping at the end of the check out, wait until it's all been scanned, then pack it, then pay, after searching for your points card whilst a huge queue grows WAITING ON YOU YOU FECKIN' IDIOT!!!!!
Women - when at a cash machine, is it too much to ask if you could decide which card you are going to use BEFORE GETTING TO THE MACHINE!! Don't wait until you get to the machine, use 3 cards in succession, checking the balances on each one before deciding just to take out a tenner.
To one of my fellow students - The reason you are 10 stone overweight is because, every lunchtime, you have a McDonalds, the size of which could feed a family of four, with a HUGE carton of coke. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU HAVING A FAT GENE YOU GREEDY CNUT!!!