I went to a more local LBS to see if they'd true the wheel while I hunt out some of the correct spokes. Turns out there was a brokens spoke after all, but the VLBS reckon they can get hold of the correct spokes and will do a fix. I'll find out soon enough I guess. VLBS don't build wheels in house, but send out to a firm called Walkers*. I reckon they can put in a new spoke and true up the wheel to last us until we can get a rebuild organised.
In the meantime, the more I read into this, the happier I am I posted up here!
The DT 540 tandem hubs do have the larger holes in the flanges so I would imagine a smaller spoke/elbow wouldn't be such a good fit. Whether that looseness is something to be avoided I just don't know but it seems silly not to take advantage of the opportunity for added strength.
The wheels are 36H three cross at the moment. I'm a bit gutted that we broke the spoke in the first place, perhaps it's time to heed the warning and be more careful/lose some weight!
*has anyone heard of them?