I'm a liar!

[teethgrinder]

I was spied drinking my milk at Severn View Services late on Friday night while on my failed 1000k ride.
I was quizzed about drinking milk, if it's a good energy drink.
I said, "Not really, I just like drinking milk."
He went on to ask me where I was going, so I told him that I was off to Strensham services (On the M5 north of Tewksbury) and going via Abergavenny.
He started asking me where my back up crew were and all the others and telling me that I'd be better off with water or an energy drink and was very forthcoming with his "advice." (Funny that people who don't cycle seem to know so much about how to cycle)
What would I do if I got tired?
I told him I'd keep going.
What if I couldn't keep going?
I told him I'd stop.
He started getting upset and that I'll not get very far telling lies. (He had an Irish accent) and went off in a strop.

It cheered me up for a few miles.
Have you ever had any funny conversations with non Audax types?

[Martin]

I try to avoid conversations with non-Audax types but usually limit what I say if I'm forced. the word "charity" usually comes up  (and 100 / 12hr / 24 hr TTs)

[Tigers Taxi]

we are a limited breed and you are the extreme.
At least @ the  B & B in Gala, they only thought we were a little extreme, and thats after 400km, we then booked in for the 600 @ 1000km so who knows what they think now.

Andy S

[hellymedic]

Not really a conversation but same part of the world.
Late one night after completing an Audax ride, I was crossing the Severn Bridge and encountered some oiks.

"Oy, how far have you cycled today?"
"200 miles."
<Silence>

[Salvatore]

If someone asks me where I'm going, I mention the name of the next control, or the next town. Saves a lot of bother and explanation.

[teethgrinder]

I try to avoid conversations with non-Audax types but usually limit what I say if I'm forced. the word "charity" usually comes up  (and 100 / 12hr / 24 hr TTs)

I usualy avoid converstions too, but he came up to me. It would have been rude to just ignore him. I thought I was toning my ride down an awful lot. I only had to do about 70 miles to get to Strensham. I never told him I was trying to ride 1100 (I had to ride to and from the start too) kms within less than 56 hours.

[Martin]

Not sure if it's connected but an AUK jersey has often stopped most people coming up to me like that. Perhaps we are the cycling equivalent of bus enthusiasts.

[Gandalf]

Not sure if it's connected but an AUK jersey has often stopped most people coming up to me like that. Perhaps we are the cycling equivalent of bus enthusiasts.

Having seen some pictures of the AUK jersey I think it is fair to assume they are concerned about retinal damage.

[chris]

Funny that people who don't cycle seem to know so much about how to cycle

Have you ever had any funny conversations with non Audax types?

I quite often get the question 'How many gears has your bike got?', and when I reply 24, I usually get told about their mate who got as bike from Woolworths/Argos/ToysRUs/<insert any other BSO shop> who got a bike for £50 with 31/37/<insert any other non-prime number greater than 24>.

[Julian]

If I'm with a group, where everyone else has 700c wheels and it's more noticeable, I occasionally get people saying "Your bike's got little wheels!"

I usually tell them I only took the stabilisers off last week.

[Hummers]

I was spied drinking my milk at Severn View Services late on Friday night while on my failed 1000k ride.
I was quizzed about drinking milk, if it's a good energy drink.
I said, "Not really, I just like drinking milk."
He went on to ask me where I was going, so I told him that I was off to Strensham services (On the M5 north of Tewksbury) and going via Abergavenny.
He started asking me where my back up crew were and all the others and telling me that I'd be better off with water or an energy drink and was very forthcoming with his "advice." (Funny that people who don't cycle seem to know so much about how to cycle)
What would I do if I got tired?
I told him I'd keep going.
What if I couldn't keep going?
I told him I'd stop.
He started getting upset and that I'll not get very far telling lies. (He had an Irish accent) and went off in a strop.

It cheered me up for a few miles.
Have you ever had any funny conversations with non Audax types?

All that and not wearing a helmet either.

Tsk tsk.

Isn't that highly irresponsible? 

H

[chris]

He went on to ask me where I was going, so I told him that I was off to Strensham services (On the M5 north of Tewksbury) and going via Abergavenny.

Surely you need suspension to ride that far!

[Mr Larrington]

If someone asks me where I'm going, I mention the name of the next control, or the next town. Saves a lot of bother and explanation.

This only works if the person doing the asking has a certain grasp of geography.  Scene: A petrol station, Colsterworth:

Petrol Station Oik: Where you come from, then?
Me: Last stop was Huntingdon.
PSO: Where's that?
Me: (Waves arm vaguely to the south-east) Over there.
PSO: Where you goin' next?
Me: Alfreton.
PSO: Where's that?
(Waves arm vaguely to the north-west) About fifty miles thataway.

Rust Bucket and I bumped into J Random Pedestrian in Tewkesbury last year.  "Yow doin' the Severn Across?" he asked, in Black Country tones.  Turned out to be an AUK in mufti, playing at tourists.

[Greenbank]

Got to the outskirts of Chertsey (Surrey) on the way down to Cornwall to find the road blocked off by Mr Plod.

Plod: "Sorry, can't go through here, tree down blocking the road."
Me: "Any chance I can get past on a bike, even if I'm a good person and get off and push my bike past?"
Plod: *checks on radio* "No, sorry, whole road blocked. You'll have to go back and find another way"
Me: (Pointing to GPS) "Oh, go on, it's on my route."
Plod: "Where are you trying to get to today?"
Me: "Padstow."
Plod: "Sorry, I'm not from round here, the only Padstow I know is in Cornwall."
Me: "That's the one."
Plod: "Oh. Err right. All in one go?"
Me: *nodding*
Plod: "Right. Crikey. Sorry, can't help you but good luck!"

[mike]

got home on friday to find mrs mike standing in the driveway chatting with nosy neighbour

nn:  blimey you're a bit sweaty, aren't you? 
me: yes, I've been to London and back and it's hot
nn: "  "

[border-rider]

Rust Bucket and I bumped into J Random Pedestrian in Tewkesbury last year.  "Yow doin' the Severn Across?" he asked, in Black Country tones.  Turned out to be an AUK in mufti, playing at tourists.

A game I used to play sometimes in Lambourn, on Denmead 600 day. 

Lambourn is at just under 300k, so most people pass through on Saturday night/evening.  Always fun when wandering back from the pub to shout out "How's the Denmead 600 going then ?" at confused AUKs

It works the other way: when doing events that pass through Lambourn it was amusing to shout out "hello" to bemused local worthies as one charges down the High Street inna Lycra stylee

[Salvatore]

I remember making my way back towards Beddgelert through Waunfawr on the BCM one year*, when I passed a shadowy figure taking his dog for a walk (it was after midnight). I was rather taken aback when he called out : "All downhill to Chepstow now!"

*1991.

[eck]

On a 300 DIY last week, I went in to the Tourist Information Office in Aberfoyle. As I started to explain what I was up to so she would stamp my card she said, "I know. We've had your sort in here before."

    

[urban_biker]

One day when I've retired from audax I think I'll take up a career as an audax stalker. I'll make sure I am in position, using handy advance knowledge, and shout various cryptic but clearly knowledgeable comments to passing riders.

So in a few years time if you see somone jumping out from behind a tree in the middle of no-where waving a banner saying "If you had a car you'd be home by now", that will be me.

[border-rider]

I did it at Paddington in 2003 -  one Friday evening assorted Funny Bike Types were assembling at the station to head Westwards - I was in a suit & tie,  startling them immensely by saying "Brevet Cymru ? See you there tomorrow"

[frere yacker]

2006, Wiltshire Cycleway 300.  11pm. Waiting on MV and Manotea to turn up.  Group of, ahem, ladies on spying my bike and nightvision jacker asked if I was a postman.  Naturally, I said yes I had just finished my night delivery round, a new initiative of the post office.  They believed me, the fools.

[MSeries]

This isn't my story but I so wish it was. It was told to me by a clubmate. He and someone else found themselves needing to sleep on The Cambrian 600 and they spied a garden centre with loads of sheds outside. The found one unlocked and went inside to sleep. The couldn't sleep as at about 3pm there was the noise of cars pulling up and leaving, there was a night club  opposite. Some girls came out of the club who had seen the two randoneurs entering the shed and decided it would be a good idea to see if they were still there. Finding two men lying down together of course started them guessing and tittering. My mate managed to convince them that they were in fact doing a long bike ride and they girls invited them back to their place for more sleep.

The story was told to me at 00:15 in Lockerbie as we were thinking of finding somewhere to sleep on a 600km DIY, I said to my mate, lets just chat up those slags over there and they'll take us home.

[Salvatore]

2006, Wiltshire Cycleway 300.  11pm. Waiting on MV and Manotea to turn up.  Group of, ahem, ladies on spying my bike and nightvision jacker asked if I was a postman.  Naturally, I said yes I had just finished my night delivery round, a new initiative of the post office.  They believed me, the fools.

Probably more believable than the truth.

[nuttycyclist]

...
Me: (Pointing to GPS) "Oh, go on, it's on my route."
...

That's why I like maps instead of GPS     Road closures are easy to navigate around.

got home on friday to find mrs mike standing in the driveway chatting with nosy neighbour

nn:  blimey you're a bit sweaty, aren't you? 
me: yes, I've been to London and back and it's hot
nn: "  "

Ah yes, I love those conversations.

To the neighbour (who nearly killed himself trying that extreme ride of the BHF London to Brighton) - "Yeah, not too bad thanks, just cycled back to Southend from Brighton.  Yes I rode there overnight last night. "

Conversation with the Sister-in-law in Maldon as I rode past, "So where are you off to then?" 
"Going home"
"Ah right, where from then?"
"I popped up to Dunwich on the Suffolk coast last night."
"   "
"Via London"
"    !!!!!"
"yup"
<looks at loaded bike>  "So have you got your tent and everything on there?"
"Nah, haven't bothered stopping or sleeping yet, don't feel that tired.   I'll crash out at home when I get there, it's only 250 miles round trip so no need really to stop".
"      !!!    !!!!!   !!!!"




To the colleagues at work.
"Yeah that snowstorm yesterday was nasty wasn't it.  I got stuck in that the whole way down from Suffolk yesterday as I cycled home"
"why were you cycling home from Suffolk?!!"
"Cos I cycled up there the day before and decided I didn't want to stay"

[gonzo]

It also works the other way when you've been conditioned by this forum.

Yesterday I was up on the mendips (Somerset) and there were some people at a junction looking lost. I asked them if they needed directions.
"Where are you going?"
"Edinburgh"
"Cool, which road are you looking for at the moment"
"The one that'll take us to Edinburgh"
"I think you'll need more than one... Sorry, do you mean the place in Scotland?"

This was greeted by smirks from the two cyclists

Apparently there's a place in the Mendips with a very similar name!