Used to play a lot of football years ago.
Went home one Sunday, and the conversation went :
"How did you get on?"
"I scored a hat-trick"
"Oh, great. You must have won then?"
"No, we lost 2-1"
Yes, I admit it. We went one-nil down after a shot by the opposition bounced off my hip past our goalie. I managed to (or so I thought at the time) redeem myself by scoring an equaliser with a fluffed shot that sent their keeper the wrong way, but leaping with one of their forwards to defend a corner, managed to skim a header into my own net.
So we lost 2-1 and all goals were credited to me.
There was much taking of the Michael, and when I was offered the match ball for keeps, both teams gathered around cheering.
2-1 is not an amazing score, but I bet they are not very often all scored by the same player !
D'oh!