Author Topic: First-World Problems.  (Read 333786 times)

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #625 on: 26 September, 2014, 02:36:33 pm »
We should go back to the days of the GPO and only offer people the choice of 2 fixed line rotary dial phones, black or grey.

I don't think those things ever broke.

ian

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #626 on: 26 September, 2014, 02:42:27 pm »
I did manage to bend my iPad 2 under mysterious circumstances so it's not even new. I was doing it before all the cool kids.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #627 on: 26 September, 2014, 03:40:02 pm »
At some point over the midwest my bags evidently divorced me and moved to Denver.

I'm flying back from Denver tonight.  Shall I look for them?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #628 on: 26 September, 2014, 04:26:20 pm »
At some point over the midwest my bags evidently divorced me and moved to Denver.

I'm flying back from Denver tonight.  Shall I look for them?

They turned up eventually. It was AA. Believe me, my bags have travelled far further than I have. If they ran space missions, there'd be bags on Mars by now, even if they hadn't got further than the moon. Anyway I had to do that horrible wait for the carousel to empty, like the worst episode ever of the Generation Game, and then the forlorn search around the baggage hall before finally dragging myself to the counter. What does your luggage look like? asks the career grumponaut behind it. Luggage. It looks like all luggage. Fortunately, as a seasoned traveller, I always have emergency pants ready to deploy.

On the plus side this was the same trip where I misread the meeting agenda and inadvertently booked myself in a luxury spa hotel for two days more than I needed to. Also the same trip where I went on a mountain bike-in-the-desert thing and there was a British expat girl as part of our group. As she seemed a bit unfamiliar with a bike I advised her that the brakes were on the wrong sides and she sneeringly exclaimed that 'of course, I know that, I've lived here ten years' before riding straight into the side of the bus and making a dent with her big stupid head.

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #629 on: 03 October, 2014, 05:03:13 pm »
I swallowed one of the whole peppercorns in my Tesco Finest saucisson.  I suppose that I will have to drive the half mile to the hospital and get another go on the CT Scanner that the locals bought for the NHS.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #630 on: 08 October, 2014, 12:46:58 pm »
What's the deal with speedy boarding? It just means you sit in an uncomfortable aeroplane seat for longer instead of an uncomfortable departure lounge seat.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Dibdib

  • Fat'n'slow
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #631 on: 08 October, 2014, 01:00:37 pm »
What's the deal with speedy boarding? It just means you sit in an uncomfortable aeroplane seat for longer instead of an uncomfortable departure lounge seat.

A headstart in the fight for overhead luggage space, which on any mostly-business flight always causes delays due to the "really important businesspeople" wankers taking the piss by boarding with an oversized trolley case, a laptop bag and a rucksack.

Sadly BA have proven themselves to be utterly gutless when it comes to enforcing their own rules, to the point where the flight staff have to spend twenty minutes on the tarmac playing suitcase Tetris.

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #632 on: 08 October, 2014, 01:05:21 pm »
What's the deal with overhead luggage space? It's much easier and less disruptive to get what you need out of your bag, put it in the seat pocket, and stick the bag under the seat in front. Aeroplanewankers.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.


Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #633 on: 08 October, 2014, 01:23:21 pm »
This morning at the gym, the complimentary product dispenser in my cubicle was out of shower gel.  I had to move to the cubicle next door, which involved moving my two complimentary towels to the next rail.
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #634 on: 08 October, 2014, 03:30:37 pm »
What's the deal with overhead luggage space? It's much easier and less disruptive to get what you need out of your bag, put it in the seat pocket, and stick the bag under the seat in front. Aeroplanewankers.

Overhead lockers are BIG.
Space under seats is not.

Small day bags are great for in-flight nicknacks under the space in front. Them HYOOGE trolley-cases are best out of the way.

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #635 on: 08 October, 2014, 06:37:29 pm »
Small day bags are great for in-flight nicknacks under the space in front.

6' 5" and 17 stone - I don't think so.
There's no vibrations, but wait.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #636 on: 08 October, 2014, 06:57:02 pm »
Small day bags are great for in-flight nicknacks under the space in front.

6' 5" and 17 stone - I don't think so.

What if we put the sax in the hold?
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #637 on: 08 October, 2014, 07:00:27 pm »
Whose hold holds nicknack's sacks? Oo err.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #638 on: 08 October, 2014, 07:05:12 pm »
Small day bags are great for in-flight nicknacks under the space in front.

6' 5" and 17 stone - I don't think so.

What if we put the sax in the hold?

A gentle cup, or something a bit tighter...?
It is simpler than it looks.

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #639 on: 08 October, 2014, 07:05:58 pm »
Small day bags are great for in-flight nicknacks under the space in front.

6' 5" and 17 stone - I don't think so.

What if we put the sax in the hold?

Wot? And subject it to the tender ministrations of the baggage handlers? Not a chance.
There's no vibrations, but wait.

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #640 on: 08 October, 2014, 07:07:11 pm »
A gentle cup, or something a bit tighter...?

<wince>
There's no vibrations, but wait.

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #641 on: 08 October, 2014, 07:10:35 pm »
The indignity of it. Call this a hotel? Not only do I have to swipe the key card though the door lock slot, rather than wave the key card in the general direction of the lock, but there is no sink to fill the coffee in and I am forced to walk yards to the basin in the bathroom. Then, horrors, the loo seat has no soft closer on it.

What with having to change gates this morning at the airport (D37 all the way to D36, nearly 100 m away, I don't know if I can cope.
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

Oaky

  • ACME Fire Safety Officer
  • Audax Club Mid-Essex
    • MEMWNS Map
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #642 on: 09 October, 2014, 01:20:57 am »
The champagne bottle has run dry in the BA First class lounge.  Luckily my glass is still full so it's a while before I need to either flag down a member of staff to get a fresh bottle or brave the business lounge (horrors!) to see if there's some there.
You are in a maze of twisty flat droves, all alike.

85.4 miles from Marsh Gibbon

Audax Club Mid-Essex Fire Safety Officer
http://acme.bike

Oaky

  • ACME Fire Safety Officer
  • Audax Club Mid-Essex
    • MEMWNS Map
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #643 on: 09 October, 2014, 01:38:05 am »
Crisis averted!

It was replaced with admirable - actually I'd even go so far as to say alarming - urgency once the emptiness was noticed.

Time to stand down from purple alert (i.e my plan to swith to the port).
You are in a maze of twisty flat droves, all alike.

85.4 miles from Marsh Gibbon

Audax Club Mid-Essex Fire Safety Officer
http://acme.bike

LEE

  • "Shut Up Jens" - Legs.
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #644 on: 21 October, 2014, 11:42:38 am »


I hear Bob Geldof has been alerted and is planning "Cotswold Aid"



Apparently passengers boarding places to Syria are having their shoes checked for Chutney.



You know times are hard when.....
Some people say I'm self-obsessed but that's enough about them.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #645 on: 21 October, 2014, 11:46:01 am »
 ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D ;D ;D ;D
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #646 on: 21 October, 2014, 12:02:22 pm »
Lee, thank you for highlighting these terrible modern tragedies - I feel overcome with empathy and kindness for people dealing with such awful times.
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #647 on: 21 October, 2014, 12:48:00 pm »
Bugger! run out of mint tea!!

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #648 on: 21 October, 2014, 12:49:48 pm »
Lee, thank you for highlighting these terrible modern tragedies - I feel overcome with empathy and kindness for people dealing with such awful times.

YA Liz Jones AICMFP

External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: First-World Problems.
« Reply #649 on: 21 October, 2014, 01:06:31 pm »
Just about to order my Karsten Tent, but will have to wait until March for it  :o  (not for cycle touring obviously  ;))