Author Topic: First-World Problems. (Read 335469 times)

ian · « **Reply #1400 on:** 03 November, 2016, 03:32:40 pm »

I dropped my ancient Aiwa radiogram remote and now it doesn't work so I have to spin around and scoot my office chair half a metre across to manually work the dials. It's so tiring.

PaulF · « **Reply #1401 on:** 07 November, 2016, 10:30:15 am »

With my planned trips this year I'm going to be 5 points short of regaining a Silver card

tiermat · « **Reply #1402 on:** 09 November, 2016, 10:35:25 am »

I am heading down to London today, on the train.

I am in first class and the coffee is stewed!!! How am I going to survive a 2 hour journey on that?

Torslanda · « **Reply #1403 on:** 09 November, 2016, 10:43:07 am »

Have alerted the UNHCR and the Yanks have gone to DefCon II.

They've promised to take it back to 4 if you can score a decent Americano by lunchtime . . .

Polar Bear · « **Reply #1404 on:** 09 November, 2016, 11:08:43 am »

Quote from: Torslanda on 09 November, 2016, 10:43:07 am

Have alerted the UNHCR and the Yanks have gone to DefCon II.

They've promised to take it back to 4 if you can score a decent Americano by lunchtime . . .

The yanks are at DefCon 4 for an entirely different reason - somebody GUFFed ...

Canardly · « **Reply #1405 on:** 09 November, 2016, 01:30:36 pm »

Twitter post

'Post Brexit, no one thought it'd be possible to out-stupid Britain.
But you know America. Never one to back down from a challenge!'

ian · « **Reply #1406 on:** 14 November, 2016, 05:19:07 pm »

Itchy, itchy sunburn.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #1407 on:** 14 November, 2016, 08:50:00 pm »

The soft close on the new toilet seat is a little slow.

hellymedic · « **Reply #1408 on:** 15 November, 2016, 08:57:53 am »

Quote from: rogerzilla on 14 November, 2016, 08:50:00 pm

The soft close on the new toilet seat is a little slow.

Partner detested new soft close seat in bathroom so much that we swapped it to downstairs loo, which he seldom uses.

ian · « **Reply #1409 on:** 15 November, 2016, 10:08:32 am »

You don't have to watch them close, they can be safely left to do so on their own. They don't, to the best of my knowledge, start flapping around like Adele's gob and blasting out curiously mid-Atlantic vocalised middle of the everything songs, or for that matter, demonically warbling like they've been possessed by the spirit of Whitney Houston. Imagine that, if Whitney Houston possessed your bog. Actually, I just did. It's a not a good place.

mattc · « **Reply #1410 on:** 15 November, 2016, 10:21:11 am »

Quote from: ian on 15 November, 2016, 10:08:32 am

...

Imagine that, if Whitney Houston possessed your bog. Actually, I just did. It's a not a good place.

Definitely a 1st World Problem!

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #1411 on:** 15 November, 2016, 01:09:07 pm »

Not only has Mr Sainsbury's House Of Toothy Comestibles stopped selling its somewhat nomworthy Pean & Mushroom Masala and Channa Masala altogether, but today they were out of Tadka Dahl as well. And they've just introduced a new fleet of trolleys on which the handles are All Wrong.

God, modern life is rubbish, isn't it

ian · « **Reply #1412 on:** 15 November, 2016, 01:43:00 pm »

Quote from: mattc on 15 November, 2016, 10:21:11 am

Quote from: ian on 15 November, 2016, 10:08:32 am
...

Imagine that, if Whitney Houston possessed your bog. Actually, I just did. It's a not a good place.

Definitely a 1st World Problem!

Quite scarily, while I wandered around the bathroom earlier warbling 'I will always haunt your loo-oooo-oo', the spotlight above the toilet started to flicker uncannily. As I'm on vacation today, I'm tempted to pen a script for The Conjuring 3.

Kim · « **Reply #1413 on:** 15 November, 2016, 02:29:56 pm »

Quote from: ian on 15 November, 2016, 01:43:00 pm

the spotlight above the toilet

Same lighting designer as the University of [REDACTED FOR LEGAL REASONS]?

ian · « **Reply #1414 on:** 15 November, 2016, 03:35:05 pm »

Standard in-ceiling downlighter thingummy. I don't poo as performance art. Not even on a haunted toilet. Seems to have stopped flickering which will be good as I no idea how to replace it.

I bet the Japanese have toilets with an auto-exorcism feature for just this sort of eventuality.

hellymedic · « **Reply #1415 on:** 15 November, 2016, 03:39:50 pm »

Why is the bathroom the only part of an hotel bedroom that has a tolerable level of illumination?
I do not do dim!

Holiday Inn: your rooms are just too gloomy!

LEE · « **Reply #1416 on:** 15 November, 2016, 03:54:41 pm »

Quote from: hellymedic on 15 November, 2016, 08:57:53 am

Quote from: rogerzilla on 14 November, 2016, 08:50:00 pm
The soft close on the new toilet seat is a little slow.

Partner detested new soft close seat in bathroom so much that we swapped it to downstairs loo, which he seldom uses.

I don't mind them but, like soft-close cupboard doors, they have you slamming everything else, without a damped mechanism, like you lost your temper.

ian · « **Reply #1417 on:** 15 November, 2016, 04:39:33 pm »

Quote from: hellymedic on 15 November, 2016, 03:39:50 pm

Why is the bathroom the only part of an hotel bedroom that has a tolerable level of illumination?
I do not do dim!

Holiday Inn: your rooms are just too gloomy!

You'd probably not like the place I recently stayed in Frankfurt then. I was never sure if I was about turn on the light or set off the fire alarm.

Any hotel room offers ten minutes of delight figuring out which combination of switches turn on the right lights. Sometimes I just give up and go to the bar.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #1418 on:** 15 November, 2016, 04:50:22 pm »

"a futuristic wonder"?! It looks like 1982!

Feanor · « **Reply #1419 on:** 15 November, 2016, 06:27:05 pm »

Dark hotel rooms seem to be in fashion.

I've stayed at a few Malmaisons recently, and they are all dark as dark thing.
Like grubbing about on the floor with a phone as a torch looking for dropped objects.

The Dakota in South Queensferry was the same.
It was so dark, you couldn't find any of the controls on the wall for heating or lighting without a torch.

hatler · « **Reply #1420 on:** 15 November, 2016, 06:32:38 pm »

Quote from: ian on 15 November, 2016, 04:39:33 pm

Any hotel room offers ten minutes of delight figuring out which combination of switches turn on the right lights. Sometimes I just give up and go to the bar.

I stayed in a place in Joburg where the chap who showed me to my room offered to show me where everything was.

It can't be that complicated I thought.

The button to rise the telly out of its box was hidden behind a curtain at the head of the bed.

I'm afraid to say that I manually lifted the thing out of its box and perched it, precariously, diagonally across the top of the box.

When I finally worked out where the button was, it wasn't working. Not sure if I buggered it or not.

ian · « **Reply #1421 on:** 15 November, 2016, 06:56:32 pm »

I think the dark hides a messy variety of sins. Not places for a blacklight, unless you want a gratuitous Jackson Pollock. The 'do not disturb' sign was 'don't be a knockin', because the bed be a rockin'. Crude, lewd, and worth it just for look painted on the faces of some of church attendin' and god-be-a-defendin' US colleagues. I think the mothership booked them in for laffs.

rogerzilla · « **Reply #1422 on:** 15 November, 2016, 07:27:25 pm »

Three rules of life:

Keep your daughter away from red lights.
Keep your son away from flashing blue lights.
Keep your computer chair away from UV light.

mattc · « **Reply #1423 on:** 15 November, 2016, 07:31:03 pm »

Quote from: hellymedic on 15 November, 2016, 03:39:50 pm

Why is the bathroom the only part of an hotel bedroom that has a tolerable level of illumination?
I do not do dim!

Holiday Inn: your rooms are just too gloomy!

I found ours about right. That may be because at home I am constantly maddened by the low-energy bulbs (that result in me squinting at everything for 2 minutes) - so "normal" lighting seems a wonderous invention!

It was also the first place I've stayed for a while without this problem:

Quote from: ian on 15 November, 2016, 04:39:33 pm

Any hotel room offers ten minutes of delight figuring out which combination of switches turn on the right lights. Sometimes I just give up and go to the bar.

It just had bedside lights [with their own switches] and a sort-of-Standard-Lamp, with a nice foot-switch! So everything made sense.

Lacking a "main" ceiling light might be what infuriated Helly, but kept the switching simple.

God I'm easily pleased these days ...

hellymedic · « **Reply #1424 on:** 15 November, 2016, 10:59:04 pm »

Room-mate was very good about operating the light switches.
A standard lamp with a foot-operated switch in the only wheelchair accessible room shows typical lack of joined-up thinking.
The room was BIG. There was a ceiling light in the room entrance, the dim standard lamp, a small flexible desk lap and the bedside lights.
The bedside shelves were small big enough for spectacles and a phone but there would not have been space for a denture pot...