the peril of settings

[ian]

So, I saw some stuff on the internet about settings. You know, the dials on the front of devices that kid you that you are in control of your fate.

I have heard that some people use these dials. I was unconvinced until recently when I discovered that my previous oven default of somewhere between 160-200 degrees could be set to 'max' for pizza. Two different settings. Oh giddy chefdom. That's it though, those are the only two settings I use. There's another dial that is illustrated with strange symbols that might as well be Babylonian, only two of which I have deciphered: one I think is the fan oven setting, the other is a grill. If I had speculate a translation, the third may well be 'burn stuff and set off the fire alarm.'

The washing machine and dishwasher are similar. The washer has dials and things called programmes. I know only two which I call one o'clock and four o'clock. One o'clock is normal. Four if something bad has happened and you need to get rid of potential forensic evidence. The dishwasher is a bit better, it does have pictures of different sized piles of plates and one that is 'eco' and who doesn't like to be 'eco.' There are about six other buttons on it, function unknown. All my kitchen appliances are Italian though, so I don't like to provoke them.

[Flite]

My microwave is over 25 years old, and even in the dark ages had settings for potatoes, pasta, defrost etc.
I just press start for the number of minutes I want it to operate for...........

The AGA is great - it has no settings at all

[Kim]

Dials?  Luxury!  Proper settings are hidden n layers^[1] deep in a menu system with a structure that hopefully makes sense to the codemonkey who wrote the software, because it certainly doesn't to anyone else.


_{[1] Where n is proportional to how frequently you need to change the setting in question.}

[Feanor]

The woodfired pizza oven cuts through all that Gordian Knot nonsense in a single swoosh.

It has no settings.
It has fire, or no fire.

You can perhaps pretend it has settings by throwing more or less wood on it, but it more or less does what it wants.
Mostly, it wants to do the Right Thing, which is good.

And Fire.

[citoyen]

I discovered by accident the other day that my oven has a pizza setting. It’s hidden behind the bread setting. I discovered it when I accidentally turned the wrong dial.

There’s also a Turbo Grill setting. I don’t know what this means.

[Cudzoziemiec]

There’s also a Turbo Grill setting. I don’t know what this means.

I learnt about this in the other Plaice.

[Kim]

The woodfired pizza oven cuts through all that Gordian Knot nonsense in a single swoosh.

It has no settings.
It has fire, or no fire.

Fire's also boolean on the ESP8266.  DAHIKT.

[Butterfly]

The AGA is great - it has no settings at all

I miss having an aga to cook on. Always ready, does great tray bakes, warms your bum and dries your clothes. Fabulous things.

[ian]

I discovered by accident the other day that my oven has a pizza setting. It’s hidden behind the bread setting. I discovered it when I accidentally turned the wrong dial.

There’s also a Turbo Grill setting. I don’t know what this means.

It's quite possible my oven has a pizza setting but there's nothing that looks like the Babylonian glyph for a pizza. Max cooks one in six precise minutes.

The microwave has lots of settings, I just choose max and a number of minutes and seconds. There's a dial on the front of the central heating boiled labelled min and max. What possible reason would I want to set it to anything other than max? I'd like my house to get warm really slowly please.

I think this all my plea for boolean. No caveman looked at his fire and thought, erm, if only it had a reheat setting.

[Kim]

There's a dial on the front of the central heating boiled labelled min and max. What possible reason would I want to set it to anything other than max? I'd like my house to get warm really slowly please.

Ah, I know this:  On a condensing boiler, there's a point where it condenses flue gas properly for maximum efficiency, and then there's max, where it gives you the hottest water for when it's bloody cold.  These are the only two settings you need, of course, the rest of the dial is pointless.

[rafletcher]

Our condensing boiler has a digital temp setting for the circulating water temperature. It’s set to the highest value permanently. There’s a tank stat too. Why change it? I like hot water.

I use 2 powers on the microwave, 600w and 900w.

The grill is always on max. The dishwasher only has 5 programmes. We use the eco (shortest) one mostly. For de-smelling we use the hottest (and longest). Similar for the washing machine. Whites and non-whites.

The oven is a bit more nuanced, depending on fan or not. And low and slow or high and fast.

[Mrs Pingu]

Oven;
160C fan for roasting veggies.
220C not fan for bread
Super'king hot for pizza (not officially on the dial)
180C fan for anything else

Washer:
40C with extra water (it's called dark clothing) for most stuff
Super'kin hot cotton for when the towels are too groady or the washer is too groady
8min spin for extra water removal

CH Boiler
II for most of the time
IV for abnormally cold winters (for Furrybootoon)

[andrewc]

Remove all of this stress & confusion from your lives by buying a Baumatic cooker.   The "settings" appear to be Letraset & wear off in the first year of ownership, leaving you free to make your own guesses choices !

[Kim]

Our cooker (I forget what brand) has a similar arrangement, where the markings are soluble in curry sauce.

[rogerzilla]

Ah, for the olden days, when cars had both spark advance and mixture controls, as well as the usual throttle.  That kept the oiks off the roads.

[ian]

I learned to drive automatic. Anything else makes complicates drinking coffee and steering.

[aidan.f]

Our condensing boiler has a digital temp setting for the circulating water temperature. It’s set to the highest value permanently. There’s a tank stat too. Why change it? I like hot water.

Why would you not want to save about 10% on your heating bills? As Kim sed. Modern boilers only work at full efficiency if return is below 55C. Our Ch rad flow is 49C and the house is a comfy 20C. Hot water is set to 55 which gives a very pleasant shower. Boiler is running at low output and no on off cycling so reduced wear. Ian's OP and the follow ups are amusing but let's not be luddites.

[ian]

How the fuck do I set that with a dial labelled min and max? Give me settings that mean something. I don’t even know what a condensing boiler is and I’ve read Kant.

[Jurek]

This is deep.
How the fuck am I going to guide my spaceship home without it hitting anything?

[Feanor]

How the fuck do I set that with a dial labelled min and max? Give me settings that mean something. I don’t even know what a condensing boiler is and I’ve read Kant.

Units are not required, that just complicates things.
You must recognise, as a mac user, the user paradigm must be 'don't bother me with technical details like units, just present me with a min-max scale'?

Anyways, if a control has a range from Min to Max, whatever reason would you not set it to Max?
Even if there are several controls, all contradictory.

Heat: Max.
Cool: Max.
Chickens: Max.
Goats: Max.

It's your responsibility to the economy. Everything is on max.

Can someone get this goat off me, please?

[Feanor]

I discovered by accident the other day that my oven has a pizza setting. It’s hidden behind the bread setting. I discovered it when I accidentally turned the wrong dial.

I expect the pizza setting is pretty much "leave the element on 100%, and hope for the best. Perhaps it will reach an equilibrium temperature before it catches fire".
I can understand why they might want to hide that.

A normal domestic oven can manage 250 degrees, or perhaps a wee bit more at a push.
Pizza requires a base temp of 350+, and an air temp up there too.

Attempting pizza in a domestic oven is a fraught business, pushing the poor thing to it's absolute limits.

[Mrs Pingu]

I think Ian's preferred goat setting is probably min, or off.

[Kim]

How the fuck do I set that with a dial labelled min and max? Give me settings that mean something. I don’t even know what a condensing boiler is and I’ve read Kant.

Ours is labelled min and max, with a detent about 2/3 of the way round labelled 'E' or something for the optimum condensing point.  That's the heating loop temperature.

There's a separate dial for the hot water temperature with a sparkly footprint sticker denoting the least-worst compromise between not scalding yourself while washing your hands under the non-mixer hot taps and a half-decent shower/bath temperature.

[Feanor]

I think Ian's preferred goat setting is probably min, or off.

Yes, but it seems to be linked to the Chickens setting in an incomprehensible way.

[cygnet]

But what toaster dial number do you use?