I have a great deal of sympathy with Wow's comments, as they echo Mrs D's views. We have stopped doing audax on the tandem, as she resented the implied pressure on time. She is a more traditional tourist, and likes to dawdle at cafes, visit churches or whatever. So what we have decided (but not yet, as it happens, applied) is that because we like the routes provided for audax events in parts of the country we don't know well we will enter events to get the routesheets, and then ride it at another time at a speed of our choosing*. This way, we think we get the best of both worlds, without avoiding the organiser's proprietorial interest.
I actually like the challange of the audax format, so continue to ride events solo.
* it would be our plan to advise the organiser at the time of "entry" so no money is wasted providing a card etc.