Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances  (Read 49529 times)

lou boutin

  • Les chaussures sont ma vie.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #25 on: April 02, 2012, 08:42:19 pm »
We were overtaken by a Pourse doing about 60 in an urban 30.
Mrs R: What an idiot
Me: Idiot is a bit mild for that.
Micro: How about twat?
Mini: No there is only one name bad enough for that -- DAVID CAMERON.

 ;D ;D

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #26 on: April 24, 2012, 12:58:27 pm »
Today, the middle one composed a song on the way to nursery:

Cyclists are fast,
Cyclists are fast,
Cyclists, Cyclists,
Cyclists are fast.
 :)

(Roughly the tune of The Farmer's in His Den!)
 :D
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #27 on: May 01, 2012, 07:18:17 pm »
When we brush teeth in the Den we do "Lion Mouth" - big wide mouth so you can get the ones at the back and the insides.  This is followed by "Tiger Teeth" - showing gritted teeth in a growly way, to brush the outsides.  Tonight, as I was brushing the littly's teeth...

CL: Fab Lion Mouth.  Now, Tiger Teeth!
EldestCub: Like a Deano tiger!
SmallestCub (through gritted teeth): Or maybe a Leopard!

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #28 on: May 01, 2012, 07:24:29 pm »
*chokes*
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

jogler

  • mojo operandi
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #29 on: May 01, 2012, 07:26:25 pm »
teh Cubs are a credit to their mother :thumbsup:


Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #31 on: May 02, 2012, 12:41:48 pm »
teh Cubs are a credit to their mother :thumbsup:
I kind of thought it was the other way round. But whatever,  ;D
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

peliroja

  • Mrs Woolly
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #32 on: May 02, 2012, 12:48:46 pm »
Hehe, excellent, Cubs!

Wowbagger

  • Dez's butler
    • Musings of a Gentleman Cyclist
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #33 on: May 22, 2012, 02:01:57 pm »
My Tuesday lunchtime school is spending 4 years metamorphosing from and Infants' school to a Primary. Currently the oldest children there are Year 4, which means that they will all be 9 by the end of August. It makes for a rather nice atmosphere: I've nothing against Year 6s but sometimes they can be a bit surly.

Anyway, today's amusing incident involved a Year 4 girl who had been a bit of a pest with a swivel chair.

Eventually...

Me: Jennifer, are you a professional nuisance?

Jennifer: Yes, I am.

Me: I hope they pay you well?

Jennifer: £50 per hour actually.

and, a little later,

Me: Jennifer, would you please be unusually helpful and supervise [some younger children] tidying up?

Jennifer, smiling sweetly: I'm sorry, I can't do that.

Me: Why not?

Jennifer: It's not in my contract.

 ;D
Basses lower the tone.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #34 on: May 22, 2012, 07:12:38 pm »
Recruit her to a union.
Today!

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #35 on: May 29, 2012, 02:39:53 pm »
Me to Oli (nearly 5): I'd like a picture to take back for MFWHTBAB. Could you draw me a tractor this week?
Oli: Yes, I can draw a tractor. I can draw anything except.... <thinks> anything I can't draw.

(Incidentally, I think getting him to draw anything except dinosaurs will be a challenge!)
If I had a baby elephant, it could help me wash the car. If I had a car.

See my recycled crafts at www.wastenotwantit.co.uk

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #36 on: May 31, 2012, 07:17:57 pm »
Not sure this counts as sensible, but it's not really befuddling either, and there isn't a thread for  "Child Utterances Open to Misinterpretaion":

As he was putting his shoes on to go to school this morning, Oli asked, "Is Auntie Sue going home today?"
"No", said his Mum, "she's not going home until tomorrow, so she'll still be here this evening."
"Oh", he said. "That's disappointing..."

She assures me he means it's disappointing that I'm going home soon, not that I'm still here!
If I had a baby elephant, it could help me wash the car. If I had a car.

See my recycled crafts at www.wastenotwantit.co.uk

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #37 on: June 01, 2012, 10:09:01 pm »
I cooked some tofu with some veg. He'd not had it before but said it was delicious and wanted some more. I hadn't cooked any more so gave him it uncooked, which prompted him to say that "It leaves a smell in my mouth. It smells like Grandpa's feet."
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #38 on: June 06, 2012, 12:20:32 am »
Today we went past a bike shop called, with great imagination, Bike UK. This prompted an outburst of alliteration: "Buy a bike in Bristol's bird baths." I'm not sure where the bird baths come in, but it is his birthday soon...
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #39 on: July 09, 2012, 02:09:53 pm »
We are listening to a times tables cd in an effort to get the eldest one to learn them so he can get the stickers on his chart and we can go to Chessington. The middle one listened carefully and announced: 'true, that's all true'.

I'm not sure how he knows, but it's a relief that the cd hasn't got them wrong :thumbsup:
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #40 on: July 09, 2012, 02:54:40 pm »
Quote from: John Keats
Beauty is truth, truth beauty[/url]
Getting there...

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #41 on: July 13, 2012, 10:20:39 pm »
This is a sensible question, but the delivery was frankly theatrical:

Sitting on the train in York Station, (it was starting there, so there was lots of time for people to get on), I saw a man on the platform with a trolley laden with two big suitcases, some smaller bags and a folded child buggy.  With him was a girl, about 9 or 10, who I think might do drama classes. As he looked back up the platform (I guess to the rest of his family), she said, to the general surroundings:

"But HOW are we going to get ALL this... <exaggerated gesture at baggage>

ON A TRAIN?!"  <exaggerated gesture at train>

I think in the end, they used the conventional method, via the doors.
If I had a baby elephant, it could help me wash the car. If I had a car.

See my recycled crafts at www.wastenotwantit.co.uk

LindaG

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #42 on: August 01, 2012, 01:43:01 pm »
I had the Crinklypride at my place last Friday.  I offered to put some music on so we could have an air guitar jam sesh.

Smallest Cub, eyes wide in wonder:

"You've got an air guitar?  Please can I see it?"

I had to burst his bubble.  It's not often I can impress smalls.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #43 on: August 01, 2012, 05:29:23 pm »
Awwwwwwwwwww!

Meanwhile, apparently after the family outing to see the men's road race on Saturday, my sister was saying it was disappointing that there wasn't a GB victory, or medal.

Oli said "Don't worry Mummy, Bradley Wiggins could win the time trial."

Not yet 5, and a cycling pundit (and right, to boot! ;D)
If I had a baby elephant, it could help me wash the car. If I had a car.

See my recycled crafts at www.wastenotwantit.co.uk

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #44 on: August 01, 2012, 11:45:41 pm »
Today, out of the blue as we were wandering through a National Trust pile, Minimac said "the spotty jersey is for King of the Mountain", to some pleased surprise from me and Mr Mac. He also knew that the yellow jersey was for the leader, and we told him that green was for the sprinter and white was for the best young rider.

"So I have the white jersey because I'm the youngest and I'm really good at cycling*" says Minimac.
Me: What about daddy?
Minimac: He's got the green jersey.
Me (angling madly): And who's got the yellow jersey?
Minimac: You, mummy.

That's my boy.

 ;D

*Not true. He's rubbish at cycling, and balancing in general. The stabilisers are coming off when he's five (he steadfastly refuses to do it until then...)

Kim

  • 2nd in the world
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #45 on: August 01, 2012, 11:59:47 pm »
Because we don't have a thread for perfectly sensible parent utterances, this one seems appropriate...

Overheard on the train on Sunday:

"If you don't behave you're not getting any more Terry Pratchett books!"

 :thumbsup:
To ride the Windcheetah, first, you must embrace the cantilever...

rower40

  • Not my boat. Mine has SPDs.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #46 on: August 02, 2012, 09:15:18 am »
Because we don't have a thread for perfectly sensible parent utterances, this one seems appropriate...

Overheard on the train on Sunday:

"If you don't behave you're not getting any more Terry Pratchett books!"

 :thumbsup:
To which the obvious (to a pedant like me) response is:
"I am behaving.  You never said I had to behave well."
Be Naughty; save Santa a trip

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #47 on: August 02, 2012, 01:00:39 pm »
Because we don't have a thread for perfectly sensible parent utterances, this one seems appropriate...

Overheard on the train on Sunday:

"If you don't behave you're not getting any more Terry Pratchett books!"

 :thumbsup:
It would be a short thread. One for befuddling grown up utterances, though...
The earth is vast and beautiful and contains many miraculous places. (Chekhov)

arallsopp

  • Beansontoast
    • Barring Mechanicals Blog
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #48 on: August 13, 2012, 02:11:39 pm »
Bless 'im. Li'l Ted, aged 4, waving me off at the door yesterday morning, as I popped out for a Sunday morning pootle into town...

Ted: "Daddy? Will you get me a spiderman at work?"
I: "I'm not going to work, darling." (as I was headed out into the sunshine, I didn't stop to explain the capitalist mechanisms by which effort can be indirectly exchanged for spidermen)
Ted: "But you *are* going to work".
I: "I'm not going to work Ted. Its Sunday, bud. We're going to the park this afternoon..."
Ted: "If you don't want to get me a spiderman, you should just say so."
I: "Ted, if I work hard, they will give me some money (see, falling into his trap here) and I will use part of that money to buy you a spiderman, ok? But not today, because I'm not going to work."
Ted: "You are going to work, Daddy. You're wearing your "office clothes". I'm not stupid."

Office clothes, for Ted are clearly padded shorts, Foska Jersey, LMNH cap, oakley jawbones, and SPDs.

Fair on, though. Not only has he reminded me that the balance of my rides this year have been dominated by the commute, but he's also made me (indirectly) promise that I will buy him a spiderman when I'm next in the office. Which I now am, having commuted here.

Damn.
Love words, hate lulu? Buy "Barring Mechanicals" on Amazon UK or US

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #49 on: August 13, 2012, 07:18:40 pm »
Does your office sell superheroes?
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.