If you hear noise, it ain't the boys...
Kool and the Gang were about the only people not at the inaugural MEMWNS ladies night at the Spiritual Home yesterday evening.
It all started off quietly enough when I rolled up to Spa to find Stanners Kiwi, Hotblack, the Hustler, Jem and Huggy raring to go. When I say raring to go what I mean is standing around admiring Stanners' new steed (very nice with very shiny fenders) and trying to work out the shortest and flattest route to the Spiritual Home. In the end we extended our loop slightly, covering a massive 17km before we arrived at the pub. In the Epiphany Field we found Bungle and Josie and OD and TCMR. It all looked quite civilised until we joined them. We were soon joined by Bill Bailey, Toby's Dad, Philip Schofield and Tomsk. Eventually Calico Jan pulled in (presumably as a control on a DIY 600) and we became 16 when Huggy's partner Laura arrived (by car but she still counts). How disappointing for the ladies and most of the men that the Lynx was otherwise engaged. Mind you, with no crash barriers or security on the premises, it could easily have got out of control if he had pitched up.
With so many of us there, the usual abuse was spread across several different conversations. Every now and then you would hear an explosion of indignation from someone followed by mocking laughter from those closest.
We sampled Joust by Bishop Nick, Mandarina by Green Jack and Brewers Reserve by Kent Brewery. After a close run and contentious meeting of the judging panel, Mandarina took the coveted Quaffers' Choice Award, narrowly beating Joust in the process. I am not sure if the wine drinkers and G&T drinkers among our number last night held their own votes and nor do I particularly care. The poor Hustler was becoming increasingly fractious as he tried to cope with so many people ordering different drinks. His mentor, Bungle, has booked him in for some re-training and a 360 degree appraisal. Hopefully that will be the last hissy fit for a while.
It was difficult to follow all the lines of conversation and it was too dark to see anyone eventually but I did note that Pip Schofield (resplendent in his Mille Cymru jersey) was awarded his brevet for the ACME Grand and Bungle convened a meeting of the Dutch Sub-Committee (not an urban dictionary term but an actual thing). The Dutch Trip (not an urban dictionary term etc) looks as if it is extending well beyond the original "most expensive 200 ever" concept that Schofield was so keen on last year. We seem to have two tandems with us now so plenty of towage across the flat bits. Huggy, meanwhile, was plotting how to spring his Dutch Oven (an urban dictionary term and an actual thing) party piece on Calico during their room share.
Having arrived much earlier than usual, it was inevitable that we left at closing time anyway. It was still a lovely warm evening (I did pop a pair of socks on under cover of darkness but there was no need for Huggy's seven layers) but a bit fresher than of late and by the time I reached the coast it was becoming quite cool. I had a closed road experience on the way home. Having continued past all the signs as usual, I was met by a fence across the whole width of the road and two blokes saying the road was covered in melting liquids and impassable but I was welcome to cycle along the verge with its three foot high uncut grass - so the verge it was, much to the amusement of the many people involved in supervising those who were actually working on the road.
The Witham peloton also witnessed my first noticeable visitation since going tubeless in 2016 and what a drama it was ! I noticed latex spurting out of a hole in the sidewall of my very old tyre as we passed through Gt. Leighs on the way to the pub. It soon stopped and I rode to the pub. At the pub I pumped the missing 20 psi back into the tyre. When I left the pub the combination of the additional pressure in the tyre and my weight on it led to a bit more spurting of latex so I put my finger over it for a whole 30 seconds, then I rode the 25 miles home. I could hear various people muttering things about that's why they prefer tubes and it just puts them off trying tubeless. In retrospect, I am sure they are right. It would have been far easier to stop, loosen the hub bolts with a spanner, loosen the brake, take off my wheel, loosen the tyre, remove the tube, look for what had made the hole, put a new tube in, put the tyre back on, pump it up, put the wheel back on, tighten the brake, tighten the hub bolts with a spanner, ride for a few minutes, realise I hadn't found the thing that made the hole, stop again....Mind you, it is probably time that I replaced the tyre with the new one that I bought to replace it a few weeks ago
