Author Topic: Befuddling Child Utterances  (Read 199651 times)

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1000 on: 06 June, 2018, 01:41:33 pm »
Weird one the other day. I'd been for a sports massage, and as I was sorting myself out prior to cycling off I was accosted by a girl of about 10 or maybe a bit older - I really don't have a good idea about how to tell a child's age. Anyway the dialogue went something like this:
Her: Did that lady massage your boobs?
Me: No.
Her: You should have got her to massage your boobs.
Me: It was a massage for my foot, which is sore from running.
Her: Next time you should get her to massage your boobs.
Me: Why would I want a massage on my boobs? <Cycles off quickly>

I found it slightly disturbing, though I wonder in retrospect if I am just bringing an adult's perspective to a "boob massage" and she'd heard someting about breast cancer awareness, for example.

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1001 on: 06 June, 2018, 05:39:52 pm »
That sounds pretty odd! Could be a pre teen determined to shock or make you feel awkward.
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1002 on: 07 June, 2018, 04:31:07 pm »
That sounds pretty odd! Could be a pre teen determined to shock or make you feel awkward.
Well she certainly succeeded on both counts... is this 'normal' (FSVO normal) behaviour for a pre teen?

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1003 on: 07 June, 2018, 09:40:26 pm »
I think making adults feel awkward can be pretty normal for some pre teens. Still, that persistence with a random stranger for a lone child is odd.
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1004 on: 13 October, 2018, 08:13:23 pm »
"Why were the 1960s so crinkly?"

Actually not that befuddling, as he explained he'd been watching Mad Men which featured a crinkly sofa and rustly clothes.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1005 on: 13 October, 2018, 08:19:12 pm »
To give the ash somewhere to accumulate.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1006 on: 13 October, 2018, 09:02:01 pm »
That was actually his other observation: he'd watched an episode where Don Draper has a health check-up, which he passes with flying lungs. But he's always smoking and drinking!
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Chris N

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1007 on: 20 October, 2018, 06:42:13 am »
Wilf, sitting on the sofa watching TV: 'I can feel the planet move'. ;D

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1008 on: 28 October, 2018, 05:40:35 pm »
Saturday afternoon
Me: Have you brushed your teeth today?
Dyl: No, it’s the weekend.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Kim

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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1009 on: 28 October, 2018, 05:41:17 pm »
Wilf, sitting on the sofa watching TV: 'I can feel the planet move'. ;D

Fracking?  ;D

Arellcat

  • Velonautte
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1010 on: 12 March, 2019, 10:00:38 pm »
Anders and I were out for a walk. Ahead, he saw a cat. He called to it, and it stopped for a moment, looked at him, and then went on.

A: "Well, one time it recognized me. Maybe it has indonesia."

Ah, how time flies and one's children are suddenly all grown up.
Quote from: Morningsider
I like that you think any of your conveyances might qualify as "a disguise".

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1011 on: 22 March, 2019, 06:31:24 pm »
"Aquinas is like my chemistry textbook. He likes to babble on and it doesn't always make sense."
(Actually, he likes chemistry.)
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1012 on: 04 April, 2019, 02:46:48 pm »
"How come all the graves are in the graveyard?"

I think he was imagining lots of nearly dead people hanging round the graveyard so as to be ready.
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1013 on: 29 April, 2019, 03:51:50 pm »
Just to show that age is no barrier, TLD (15 and 1/4): I don't want to listen to Absolute 00's on the stereo*, dad as Frank Skinner was on there, earlier and it was all boring talking.
ME: What do you want to listen to it on, then?
TLD: The Google Home as that station only plays music on the Google Home.
ME: ???

A little later it became apparent that she blamed me for Frank Skinner.  Perfectly normal point of view, I think, from a teen!

*We have an internet connected stereo and a Google Home Mini in the kitchen, both get used for listening to streaming radio stations.
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Kim

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    • Fediverse
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1014 on: 29 April, 2019, 03:56:31 pm »
You'd think 15 would be old enough to grok that a radio station (even a streaming one) was a thing where somebody else decides what you listen to, so presumably she's got a weird idea about the uniqueness of a given station.

Frank skinner is, of course, all your fault.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1015 on: 29 April, 2019, 04:23:09 pm »
To be fair she was coming off the back of multiple evenings of work, 2 weeks of revision and a couple of sleep overs, thus logic didn't really come into it!
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1016 on: 15 August, 2019, 08:30:55 pm »
Louis and I went for a ride today. At one point I was explaining my thoughts on how drivers see cyclists when Louis said I was Plato on a bicycle.

That’ll do.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1017 on: 15 August, 2019, 08:33:40 pm »
Wrong thread!  :) :) ;D

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1018 on: 15 August, 2019, 09:19:56 pm »
But we don’t have a Flattering Child Utterances thread.
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1019 on: 26 December, 2019, 12:21:08 pm »
"Kylie Minogue ... never heard of her ... is he from Coldplay?" - Miss Dan the Younger.

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Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1020 on: 15 January, 2020, 10:19:12 pm »
"This looks like sand, this bit like the sea, and this bit like some unspeakable horror." - Miss Dan the Younger, describing a berry cheesecake in a pot.

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hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1021 on: 10 March, 2021, 10:26:44 pm »
This is perfectly sensible but answering would befuddle any adult.
I am told great-nephew (4) asked parent 'How does the brain tell the mouth what to say?'

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1022 on: 25 March, 2022, 11:31:01 am »
Yes a dippy egg

Why is that befuddling you ask

Because it was asked for by my youngest. I'd done dippy eggs for myself and the eldest and said to the wife I won't do one for the youngest as she had last week rejected dippy eggs as a breakfast option

So when i asked what she wanted for breakfast and she replied an egg and then after being asked what form she said a dippy egg

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1023 on: 05 September, 2022, 11:39:43 am »
On holiday in Scotland with my sister and her children. There is a Crazy Golf thing with "Sights of Scotland" for one to crazily golf around.

Twin 1: "Will there be Stonehenge?"
Twin 2: "Stonehenge is in the south of England"
Twin 1: "What? But it was in Ice Age..."
Twin 2: "???????"
Twin 1: "I really thought Stonehenge was in Scotland...."

(They're 15 and therefore should know not to take geography lessons from a cartoon...)

They reassured themselves that this wasn't as bad as the friend who was delighted to be told that she had "outstanding" homework, as was her mother: it took them a while to realise that that was not the sense of outstanding that was meant...

Re: Befuddling Child Utterances
« Reply #1024 on: 11 December, 2022, 08:07:48 pm »
Youngest monkey told us she went up to one of the other kids last week and said look I know you are scared of me but would you like to be friends

Other kids burst into tears and cried i don't want to be an enemy of the good

Don't get me wrong she can be feisty but she's a wonderful little one and no idea why you'd be terrified of her....unless you steal the football when they're playing at lunch.