Just read all this Panchers, and like others, I'm sorry to hear about your poor old cat. You always think you'll be emotionally ambivalent with a cat passing, as they're not as companionable as a dog, say, and don't give back the same love you send to them.
In our own cat-swingonmeter, it seems disproportionately weighted from: "I love you", to: "Cheers for the food, I've sicked up most of it over there on the carpet for you to deal with." Or: "It's no point shouting, waving your arms at me from over there, I'm carrying on regardless, ensuring your lovely sofa looks like shit with my claws." And: "If it's something you don't want me to sit on… I'll sit on it."
They are missed though.