Ditch the gym - get fit without it!

[Gandalf]

I'm with Teethgrinder on this one, though I'll never be able to emulate his superhuman feats!

I did the gym thing for a while, for me it wasn't a lack of motivation on my part or the novelty wearing off, it was the proximity and the behaviour of my fellow human beings.  That and the management's failure to do anything about it.

When I wen't to the gym all I wanted to do was get in, crack on, do my workout, shower and go home, but that would have been too easy.

More often than not you couldn't use the machine you needed to because it had been commandeered by a group of three of four males who would deploy the  'do one set, have a pose and a chat then pass to a cohort' technique.  By using this method the lat pulldown/bench press machine could be tied up indefinitely.

How about the timeless classic of being stuck between two middle aged women either side of you on the ski machine having a banal, shouted conversation across you about East sodding Enders.........

Never mind, you can always relax in the jacuzzi or sauna after your ordeal... no wait, the gits will ruin that as well.  Call me old fashioned and illiberal if you must, but when I'm sat there enjoying the relaxing bubbles I don't welcome some sweaty geezer's meat & two veg dangling inches from my face as they get in because they have chosen to ignore the 'Please wear swimming trunks in the jacuzzi or sauna' rule.

Then there's the repairs to equipment that never happened in a timely fashion.  When you are paying a small fortune for gym membership you don't expet to find faulty equipment with an out of order notice for weeks on end, ditto faulty showers, cracked tiles, non-flushing toilets etc.

Compared to all the above going out on your bike and facing multiple assasination attempts by motons seems the height of sybaritic bliss, which is exactly what I'm going to do after breakfast 

[peliroja]

I feel out of place at gyms because of the high concentration of poseurs therein, who just want to show off by parading themselves around or wandering around the changing rooms starkers.

But if anyone's interested in the behaviour outlined above, the gyms I tried were Lillie Road, and Dolphin Square. 

I'll stick to my bike, tvm.

[andygates]

Why don't I ever get those gyms?  Mine are always the skeezy pits where folks comb the burrs out of their back hair after showering...

[Notsototalnewbie]

I feel out of place at gyms because of the high concentration of poseurs therein, who just want to show off by parading themselves around or wandering around the changing rooms starkers.

But if anyone's interested in the behaviour outlined above, the gyms I tried were Lillie Road, and Dolphin Square. 

I'll stick to my bike, tvm.

Same experience here. Women, naked in front of the mirrors, doing their makeup... And I was the only one with a normal skin colour (ie, not orange) and always felt I stood out a mile. I decided cycling was a much better thing to spend money on 

[Julian]

I was, very briefly, a member of Fitness First in Covent Garden, an establishment which exists solely to allow my friend J. to pull in the showers.  Lined with full length mirrors, and with music which allows you to enjoy the full "gay nightclub" experience, it was a meat market for Covent Garden's leanest, prettiest gayboys.  I started off going quite regularly with J. (I was there to rescue him if he got chatted up by anything other than a nicely spoken, well muscled boy pretending to be a chav) but the other girls there - probably performing similar duties for their own flatmates - were the sort of hideous orange young crones who had six-inch fingernails, eighteen inch waists, and had Botoxed their foreheads into a permascowl.  Unlike them, I felt that if I was there I may as well break a sweat, and consequently they avoided me like the plague.

I'm a member of the local gym now, which I believe is one of the public-private things, but works rather well.  They take prescription fatties, which puts off the orange brigade and the muscle marys, who go to a private gym instead, but they also have a 50m pool and a rather impressive swimming club, so there are lots of srs tri hotties training in the morning.  I like this gym, it is Full Of Win. 

[simonp]

Same experience here. Women, naked in front of the mirrors, doing their makeup... And I was the only one with a normal skin colour (ie, not orange) and always felt I stood out a mile. I decided cycling was a much better thing to spend money on 

I have never seen this.

[annie]

My gym is functional.  It's a bit drafty, the water sometimes comes through the ceiling and into the lockers.  The showers are adequate, I have never used them though.  There aren't any orange women or men for that matter.  There is the odd poseur but I hardly ever see them now.  The machines are always available.  It isn't posh, it serves a purpose, it suits me down to the ground.  I wouldn't change it for the world.

[ludwig]

The gym I went to was he same Annie. On at least two occasions I managed to go in, get changed, work out, shower and leave without seeing a soul and that includes on reception. ( that's Cardigan for you). later there was a kind of over 55's club that were in there every morning but they didn't hog the machines or pose. Ok so the gear was a bit ancient but it did the job and it was cheap and cheeful. I liked it but I would just rather be on my bike these days. I went down yesterday foer a sauna though. Again I was the only one there.

[her_welshness]

Gym's - I have experienced every type of gym in that ongoing quest to achieve thin-ness.

Cannons has to be the gym amongst gyms in terms of swankiness, they say that they are accessible and friendly to all, but it was the ultimate poseurs paradise and I spent the first few months changing in the cubicles because I was intimidated by the sheer toned nubileness. Plus walking across the floor full of people was like running the gauntlet.

Fitness First - definitely far more accessible, but they hunted me down for a year after I grumpily cancelled my direct debit. Did a bridget jones - one minute I was standing on the treadmill with a bottle of water in my hand, the next I was lying on the treadmill with a good impression of a moat around it.

Local borough back street gym - not up to the mark unfortunately - although very encouraging and cheap monthly payments the equipment and facilities needed a definite update and there was a lot of queuing. Plus the weights room was the most intimidating on the ones yet. Many times I caught men holding up said weight and then looking at themselves in the mirror which tickled me.

My point? I have finally found something (i.e. cycling) that I am motivated by. It pushes me to on to do things that I wouldn't have thought possible 2 years ago. As I have mentioned before its kept the weight off,  I've met lots of great people and experienced some wonderful scenery.

[Kathy]

I use the swimming pool at work (I reckon it has a lower concentration of sharks that the village pond or the River Mole), and am a member of the swimming club. On my own, swimming pools can be boring, and I give up after about twenty minutes. With the club and someone bellowing instructions at us, there's friendly banter, silliness, a challenge to always achieve a faster pace, and I can swim for at least an hour. Similarly I go to yoga classes because they push me far more than I do on my own.

It must be said that the swim club members aren't the traditional gym bunnies though. Half the girls are triathletes (and move like greased weasel poo compared to me  ) and someone is always sporting a scar or interesting new injury. Sometimes when the changing rooms for the gym are full, other people come and use the swimming pool changing rooms. These interlopers are the sort of people who freshen up their makeup before exercising and they always look at us with a mixture of distain and horror in case it's contagious. 

[Charlotte]

Gym bunny girls scare me.  Wearing makeup whilst exercising^* is so very wrong.


_{^*with one specific form of exercise excluded, obviously} 

[Wowbagger]

Gym bunny girls scare me.  Wearing makeup whilst exercising^* is so very wrong.


_{^*with one specific form of exercise excluded, obviously} 

That would obviously be cycling naked round London...

[andygates]

The big problem with poseur gyms is not looking like you're leching.   

I can;t be the only person who considers the view to be part of the motivation, surely?  (Liz's prettyboy friend notwithstanding (where's that gym? (mmm, orange twinks)))

[Charlotte]

That would obviously be cycling naked round London...

But of course 

The big problem with poseur gyms is not looking like you're leching.  

I can;t be the only person who considers the view to be part of the motivation, surely?  (Liz's prettyboy friend notwithstanding (where's that gym? (mmm, orange twinks)))

True up to a point.  But all the women who use my gym are either vacuous bunnygirl types or prescription-exercise morbids.

There's a distinct absence of hardbody tri hotties wiv scars an' tats an' scowls

[andygates]

With a little persuasion, the bunnies can sometimes be steered toward the Dark Side.

By which I mean the free weights room and barbell squats.   

[annie]

With a little persuasion, the bunnies can sometimes be steered toward the Dark Side.

By which I mean the free weights room and barbell squats.   

Indeed.  Get them on the bars I say

[David Martin]

I go to the Uni gym. It is also the host institution fr Tayside Institute of Sport and covers everything from gentle exercise classes for cardiac cases through to elite athlete training. With most patrons possssing a brain cell there is a distinct lack of vacuous orange totty. Lots of machines, free weights, spinning classes, pool.  I do one of the circuit classes - I had previously done the wellbeing one which is supposed to be fairly gentle (but I hammer it) and tonight did the 'conditioning' one which is mostly CV. To give an example.. 40secs per exercise for eight stations then shuttles. 3x the length of the basketball court followed by 20 reps of an exercise. Twists were OK. Stars were OK. Telemark jumps were a killer. This regime continues with variations for about 40 mins excluding warm up/stretch and cool down/stretch.

I'll be glad when I get to be overweight instead of obese.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

but the other girls there - probably performing similar duties for their own flatmates - were the sort of hideous orange young crones who had six-inch fingernails, eighteen inch waists, and had Botoxed their foreheads into a permascowl.  Unlike them, I felt that if I was there I may as well break a sweat, and consequently they avoided me like the plague.

At one of my local gyms, at the Royal Commonwealth Pool, I remember seeing an orange skinny bleached woman in full makeup and lots of gold jewellery and lycra trousers so low I could tell when she last had a bikini wax doing nothing except wandering around yapping on her mobile, and occasionally sitting on a machine but not using it. I hated her.

I am thinking - again - about possibly considering joining British Military Fitness. I thought about it earlier in the year and just renewed my gym membership instead and haven't been since about May. It might be better for me to go to a class I have to go to, rather than an open gym membership where I have no obligation to turn up. I used to go to classes at the RCP but it's closed for a couple of years for refurbishment, and the Crags has hardly any classes, and I can't be arsed trekking to Gracemount or Meadowbank, but a yomp round the Meadows might be more convenient. I'm still worried I won't take kindly to being told what to do though.

[Polar Bear]

My local gym in the eighties used to do circuit training.   The guy in charge, a former military PT instructor and personal trainer to the then England goalkeeper, ran a very tight ship.   I really enjoyed the circuit training.

I've found nothing like it since.   I don't bother with gyms.   Enjoy the occasional splosh along the pool though 
     

[simonp]

I currently use the gym on the Science Park just for access to a Concept II rower and a treadmill.

Could just buy a Concept II.  I'm only managing a most once a week at the gym due to the total overload with other things atm.

Could take my push up bars along and try doing the 100 push-ups after the rowing, but I think that'd be a whole bucket o' fail.  Would've been ok on week 1-2 etc, but I'm about to start week 6, and it's getting serious now.

[Eccentrica Gallumbits]

I've got as far as filling in the health questionnaire/death disclaimer for the BMF free trial.

[Zoidburg]

I've got as far as filling in the health questionnaire/death disclaimer for the BMF free trial.

The PTI's won't let you die my dear.

That would mean paperwork.

[clarion]

I've got as far as filling in the health questionnaire/death disclaimer for the BMF free trial.

They PTI's won't let you die my dear.

Well.  Maybe not her...  But they have disclaimers for an *ahem* reason.

[Butterfly]

Only one that we know of though...

[clarion]

I'm not an avid student of the outcomes of BMF.  There may be others...