Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances (Read 123527 times)

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #400 on:** 21 August, 2016, 01:36:55 pm »

Cold tea is better than no tea! Just about.

Legs · « **Reply #401 on:** 11 October, 2016, 11:09:24 am »

(After Andrew - 3 - slipped and fell down the stairs)
Mummy: Where did you hurt yourself?
Andrew: On the stairs!

perpetual dan · « **Reply #402 on:** 11 October, 2016, 08:32:12 pm »

Miss Dan the Elder: Please stop telling me about Physics so I can do my Physics homework.

rr · « **Reply #403 on:** 12 October, 2016, 04:45:21 pm »

So do eggs have to be fertilised before they are aged?

No

So they're chicken periods then

Julian · « **Reply #404 on:** 25 October, 2016, 07:43:10 pm »

(After I had completed the most perfect reverse parking and turned off the engine)

"Well done, mama!"

hellymedic · « **Reply #405 on:** 25 October, 2016, 09:20:17 pm »

Quote from: Julian on 25 October, 2016, 07:43:10 pm

(After I had completed the most perfect reverse parking and turned off the engine)

"Well done, mama!"

T42 · « **Reply #406 on:** 26 October, 2016, 10:34:29 am »

The Inlaw Paw went through a phase of greeting every successful manoeuvre with "you're doing very well, Mrs. Webb". Drove us scatty.

Cudzoziemiec · « **Reply #407 on:** 06 November, 2016, 10:37:05 pm »

"I'm pretty sure if you're a saint, one of the rules is you can't have killed anyone."

Kim · « **Reply #408 on:** 06 November, 2016, 10:56:14 pm »

I thought you just needed lots of patience...

Julian · « **Reply #409 on:** 12 November, 2016, 10:34:36 pm »

Charlotte: (patiently explaining to Iris why throwing dinner on the floor is not sensible) If you throw peas on the floor, Mummy has to pick them up.

Iris: Hoover.

[throws peas]

Kim · « **Reply #410 on:** 12 November, 2016, 10:40:41 pm »

Sounds like a vote for peas on earth... Impeccable logic though.

Legs · « **Reply #411 on:** 14 November, 2016, 12:01:20 pm »

Andrew to me: May I please have that piece of play dough, sweetheart?

Butterfly · « **Reply #412 on:** 07 January, 2017, 10:10:51 pm »

"Are we nearly at the mistake agents?"

hellymedic · « **Reply #413 on:** 07 January, 2017, 11:29:16 pm »

Reminds me of nephew who called M&S Marks and Spensive...

cycleman · « **Reply #414 on:** 08 January, 2017, 10:06:32 am »

m and s moldy and stale

Si S · « **Reply #415 on:** 12 January, 2017, 12:12:54 pm »

She doesn't really qualify anymore but she's my child. Driving up the M62 with her Mum yesterday on the way to a uni interview:

Miss S: Why's there a sign for Halifax on the motorway.

Mrs S: Because it's nearby.

Miss S: But it's a bank Mum!

T42 · « **Reply #416 on:** 12 January, 2017, 01:46:13 pm »

Hell, Hull and Barclays doesn't quite cut it.

Ham · « **Reply #417 on:** 13 January, 2017, 09:51:03 am »

Eccentrica Gallumbits · « **Reply #418 on:** 13 January, 2017, 07:25:12 pm »

Not sure I can adequately render the noise in text, but a child in a kiddy seat on the back of a bike, as his dad cycled over cobbles, going er-uh-oh-er-uh-oh with every bump.

jsabine · « **Reply #419 on:** 08 February, 2017, 08:03:15 am »

My wife's niece, four anna half, on being told they were going to move house:

- Why?
- Because we need a bigger house.
- Oh.

<looks puzzled>
<goes away>
<ponders>
<comes back>

- Are we going to be giants?

Peter · « **Reply #420 on:** 08 February, 2017, 07:52:58 pm »

Brilliant!

re an earlier post: anyone else feel that calling pre-school children "students" should go in "Perfectly nonsensical adult utterances" ?

Wowbagger · « **Reply #421 on:** 08 February, 2017, 07:59:18 pm »

You mean that you don't have any pre-school studes?

hellymedic · « **Reply #422 on:** 08 February, 2017, 08:45:55 pm »

Quote from: Peter on 08 February, 2017, 07:52:58 pm

Brilliant!

re an earlier post: anyone else feel that calling pre-school children "students" should go in "Perfectly nonsensical adult utterances" ?

+1

Legs · « **Reply #423 on:** 09 February, 2017, 02:24:34 pm »

Quote

We're going on a bear hunt,
We're going to catch a big one,
What a beautiful day!
We're not scared.

Uh-oh!

(click to show/hide)
GRAVY!

Kim · « **Reply #424 on:** 09 March, 2017, 02:13:05 pm »

Enemy board n. Device used by mistake agents for keeping their fingernails tidy.

(Overheard yesterday, in the shampoo corner of Wilkos)