[LEL17] Volunteer tales

[MAC]

There has to be a few tales to be told. Here is one about my favourite rider interaction at Innerleithen.

Cyclist whose first language is not English approaches serving hatch. "Hello sir. What can I get you?" I say gesturing to the savoury and sweet delights layed out on display before him. "Muffins." he says patting his head. I point out the blueberry muffins before him and ask "...would you like anything else?". "Muffins" he says with more urgency. Perplexed I explain these are the only muffins we have but add there is some caramel shortbread and chocolate brownies if he prefers. "MUFFINS." he says with exasperation, now holding both his ears. Turns out he wanted ear muffs. I gave him some plastic gloves which he fashioned round his ears. He might have been better with the muffins.

[mcshroom]

I have a few, but most can wait until I've had some sleep as I've just got home from Thirsk.

One that sticks in my mind though, was a rider at 5am yesterday while I marshalling. He misjudged the entrance to the control, got caught up on the curved curb, and rode straight into the brick gatepost!

Luckily he wasn't hurt, but his front wheel got stuck in between the back of the school gate, and the post, so the rim was pringled. I'm hoping he made it back as I got the wheel just about straight, but the tensions were that far off even in places you could have played it like a harp.

[hellymedic]

Not LEL but overnight in a village hall decades ago:

'Please don't wheel your wet bicycle over my sleeping bag.'
'Oh, I had no idea it was YOUR sleeping bag!'

[Mr Larrington]

J Random Canadian: Rice, potatoes and that (points at custard)
Mr Larrington:Er, that's custard. You do know what custard is, eh¹?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: And you want it on top of the rice and spuds, eh?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: (Dishes up rice, tatties and custard)  Enjoy!

And he did

Still, it makes a change from Italians mistaking rice pudding for risotto, with hilarious consequences.

1: See, I speak fluent Canadian...

[Maludenbas]

The front door at Alston the pop-up refreshment stop (tm) proved to be an obstacle for many whacked out riders, foreign and local alike.

In fairness, it was a little heavy and required a more-than-usual heave to open but it was a source of continued amusement, a running gag.

[Duckfoot1606]

The guy who arrived at Louth on Sunday evening, checked in and then dashed out the front gate, asking where the nearest pub was . His parting words were "don't worry, I won't get wrecked"

Oh yeah? 

[The Family Cyclist]

Shouting at riders heading out of registration on the right hand side of the road. Thankfully the guy I was there with spoke German so after me shouting left his German version got them on the correct side soon enough

[paul851]

Carrying a freshly poured jug of apple juice across the canteen at Moffat I was accosted by an excited Italian rider wanting to know if it was birra ? he looked a little disappointed to find out it wasn't 

Paul 

[ElyDave]

Mostly very happy riders, especially the vegetarians and vegans arriving at St Ives to find three or four dishes that weren't jacket potatoes or pasta and veg. One guy from hackney looked like he was about to burst into tears he was that happy. And then the Persian guy who came back for thirds of spicy lamb couscous and shook my hand as he left telling me how wonderful we all were.

On the other hand we had the chap who, on Sunday asked for soup only to be told it would be about half an hour. He checked back every 5 minutes, to be told not yet, looked irate, tutted and stamped his feet.

[MikeFromLFE]

Shouting at riders heading out of registration on the right hand side of the road. Thankfully the guy I was there with spoke German so after me shouting left his German version got them on the correct side soon enough

Yep! We had a lot of that at Spalding. There was a big Danish train that turned out, then went straight over to the wrong side of the road.
Generally it was a mixture of disorientation and looking at the GPS while it got a fix. Could have been lethal, but (needless to say) wasn't.


Tapatalk puts this signature here, not me!

[Thing2]

J Random Canadian: Rice, potatoes and that (points at custard)
Mr Larrington:Er, that's custard. You do know what custard is, eh¹?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: And you want it on top of the rice and spuds, eh?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: (Dishes up rice, tatties and custard)  Enjoy!

And he did

Still, it makes a change from Italians mistaking rice pudding for risotto, with hilarious consequences.

1: See, I speak fluent Canadian...

We have just been eating (and drinking) with that fellow. He admitted that it is probably not something he'll ever get to see again outside of a long ride, but at that point it was perfect.
Barnard Castle won the Things award for best custard btw. Thirsk managed to get lumps in theirs!

[mcshroom]

Shouting at riders heading out of registration on the right hand side of the road. Thankfully the guy I was there with spoke German so after me shouting left his German version got them on the correct side soon enough

Yep! We had a lot of that at Spalding. There was a big Danish train that turned out, then went straight over to the wrong side of the road.
Generally it was a mixture of disorientation and looking at the GPS while it got a fix. Could have been lethal, but (needless to say) wasn't.


Tapatalk puts this signature here, not me!

I had one Spaniard who did that at Thirsk yesterday evening. He wasn't listening to me but thankfully the four riders leaving a few seconds later chased him down for me and got him back on the left.

[ElyDave]

Being the first control on Sunday, we were shouting "keep left" at any not obvious brits

[mcshroom]

J Random Canadian: Rice, potatoes and that (points at custard)
Mr Larrington:Er, that's custard. You do know what custard is, eh¹?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: And you want it on top of the rice and spuds, eh?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: (Dishes up rice, tatties and custard)  Enjoy!

And he did

Still, it makes a change from Italians mistaking rice pudding for risotto, with hilarious consequences.

1: See, I speak fluent Canadian...

We have just been eating (and drinking) with that fellow. He admitted that it is probably not something he'll ever get to see again outside of a long ride, but at that point it was perfect.
Barnard Castle won the Things award for best custard btw. Thirsk managed to get lumps in theirs!

Lumps means that it's almost thick enough. Proper custard should be able to stand up by itself IMHO

[Sergeant Pluck]

I gave him some plastic gloves which he fashioned round his ears.

That needs a photo.

[Thing2]

J Random Canadian: Rice, potatoes and that (points at custard)
Mr Larrington:Er, that's custard. You do know what custard is, eh¹?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: And you want it on top of the rice and spuds, eh?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: (Dishes up rice, tatties and custard)  Enjoy!

And he did

Still, it makes a change from Italians mistaking rice pudding for risotto, with hilarious consequences.

1: See, I speak fluent Canadian...

We have just been eating (and drinking) with that fellow. He admitted that it is probably not something he'll ever get to see again outside of a long ride, but at that point it was perfect.
Barnard Castle won the Things award for best custard btw. Thirsk managed to get lumps in theirs!

Lumps means that it's almost thick enough. Proper custard should be able to stand up by itself IMHO

When it comes to custard slices, I'm in total agreement. For sponge pudding, less so.

[mcshroom]

Gaffa taping one poor rider back into his shorts is another one. He had been hit by a car on the short bit of A19 just before Thirsk, and although he "only" had a bit of road rash and a skinned elbow, the paramedics sliced his shorts up the sides to check his legs.

He turned up at the control in a police car with basically a set of bib trunks and open flaps on the side. After mulling over the idea of him borrowing some trousers and going to tesco for some shorts to wear over the top of the remains if his cycling shorts, we tried affa taping the shorts to his leg warmers.

In the end he managed to get some running shorts from his aunt, and eventually he DNFd when the adrenalin wore off and everything ached, but the sight of a rider stuck together with gaffa tape is one I'll remember for a long time.

[loadsabikes]

That chair stuck to his elbow looks quite nasty too

[Mr Larrington]

J Random Canadian: Rice, potatoes and that (points at custard)
Mr Larrington:Er, that's custard. You do know what custard is, eh¹?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: And you want it on top of the rice and spuds, eh?
JRC: Yes. Yes, I do.
Mr L: (Dishes up rice, tatties and custard)  Enjoy!

And he did

Still, it makes a change from Italians mistaking rice pudding for risotto, with hilarious consequences.

1: See, I speak fluent Canadian...

We have just been eating (and drinking) with that fellow. He admitted that it is probably not something he'll ever get to see again outside of a long ride, but at that point it was perfect.
Barnard Castle won the Things award for best custard btw. Thirsk managed to get lumps in theirs!

Hurrah \o/.  Actually the skool kitchen crew at Barney were bloody marvellous and have plenty of experience in shovelling enormous quantities of nosh out the door very quickly - all we did was wield serving spoons.

[Mr Larrington]

alfapete:	O noes! We are running out of milk! Mr L, here are thirty shiny BRITON'S pounds! Fetch milk!
	(Exit Mr L)
	(In Morrisons...)
Mr Larrington:	Good evening, young man! (Puts 6-pint milk thingie on conveyor) I have twenty of these!
Young Callum:	Anything else?
Mr L:	No. No, just these.
Young Callum:	(Aside) I want MOAR money for this job!

[mcshroom]

You should have seen the look on the woman at Thirsk Tesco's face when I turned up with 50 banananananas

Also of the (I think Indian) riders in the cafe when I came running through with them singing the Banana Splits theme

[CrinklyLion]

They also, I think, won the Crinklylion Best Hug award despite some fairly steep competition. I popped in to say goodbye during volunteer brekkie on Thursday and got huge spontaneous hugs from the three very lovely ladies who "won" the last shift with us.

[T42]

After reading that lot ^^^^, well done the lot of you, you're a great bunch.  If I can't qualify for PBP next time around I might volunteer myself - though judging from the hours they keep at controls, qualifying might be easier.

[Salvatore]

alfapete:	O noes! We are running out of milk! Mr L, here are thirty shiny BRITON'S pounds! Fetch milk!
	(Exit Mr L)
	(In Morrisons...)
Mr Larrington:	Good evening, young man! (Puts 6-pint milk thingie on conveyor) I have twenty of these!
Young Callum:	Anything else?
Mr L:	No. No, just these.
Young Callum:	(Aside) I want MOAR money for this job!

St Ives had the equivalent of an Olympic size swimming pool of milk to get rid  of this morning.

[ElyDave]

alfapete:	O noes! We are running out of milk! Mr L, here are thirty shiny BRITON'S pounds! Fetch milk!
	(Exit Mr L)
	(In Morrisons...)
Mr Larrington:	Good evening, young man! (Puts 6-pint milk thingie on conveyor) I have twenty of these!
Young Callum:	Anything else?
Mr L:	No. No, just these.
Young Callum:	(Aside) I want MOAR money for this job!

St Ives had the equivalent of an Olympic size swimming pool of milk to get rid  of this morning.

we were cooking bacon non stop yesterday, and it was going as quick as we could cook it.
Paella, bean stew, couscous with lamb, daal, all topped with bacon, sausage, cheese, and followed up with ricepudding and fruit salad. Soup and pasta, rice and baked beans, with a pasty, every combination under the son.

I was just amazed at the range of zombification to absolute cheery wakefulness in the riders. But everyone of them still polite and happy to see us.