You know how people always line up at the flight gate. Last night my plane was delayed, and there was still huge line an hour and a half before, presumably so they can engage in in-aisle gladiatorial combat for luggage space (it was Easyjet, so unlike Ryanair*, they don't issues knives and clubs and release the occasional lion to spice things up).
Anyway, as the obverse of 'speedy boarding' (nice wheeze, oh Easyjet), I do 'lazy boarding' which means I try to be the last person on the plane. I won on the way out, there was a tough moment when it was down to two of us, but he blinked first when the lady on the gate gave us the 'I know what you're doing look' (aka 'oi idiots').
I was doubling up on the way back to earn super lazy boarder status. The line filters through. I have a nap. Read a book. Write a presentation. Write a book. Learn the polka. And then, glory be, it's just me the gate. I saunter over with my phone and passport, oozing victory. And from nowhere, someone appears behind me. The place was empty. He must have come down Spiderman style from the roof. Drat.
*tbh, I've not flown Ryanair for a bazillion years since they stopped doing those 99p deal to places you've never heard of, come to think of it, even the locals haven't. Weekends in exciting places like Blitzkrieg and Fangleberg.
