Help me I think I am finally middle aged.

[pcolbeck]

I am working away from home and typing this on the free hotel WiFi. Tonight, dining alone, I found myself made unreasonably happy by the combination of a special offer on the quite presentable house Chianti, a far better than expected steak and running across this sentence in a book about Bach and Fredrick the Great:

Anger must exist, but take care that it occur as is proper and in your command ...

It was the singular use of occur that raised my spirits. Christ I think I need to do some nasty drugs and listen to loud rock and roll this is getting ridiculous.

[Hummers]

Embrace your age. It is a testimony to your life to date.





Failing that, you could watch some PPV porn 

H

[Wowbagger]

Can you still see your willy without the use of smoke and mirrors?

[Hummers]

....or sitting in the corner of the hotel room with a tie and belt around your neck and attached to your foot.


Oh come on.

Don't look at me like that.

We've all tried it.

Haven't we?

H

[Ian H]

Should I laugh or cry?

[Hummers]

Should I laugh or cry?

....or make a mental note not to accept an offer to share a Travelodge.

H

[Noodley]

....or sitting in the corner of the hotel room with a tie and belt around your neck and attached to your foot.


Oh come on.

Don't look at me like that.

We've all tried it.

Haven't we?

H

I could tell you  few stories....but maybe best not to. 

[Adrian]

It was the singular use of occur that raised my spirits.

That form of middler age can strike at any age

[TimO]

Just so long as you don't start wearing slippers, using a rocking chair, and get a pipe.  Those sort of clichés should be forbidden.

[Phil]

I am working away from home and typing this on the free hotel WiFi. Tonight, dining alone, I found myself made unreasonably happy by the combination of a special offer on the quite presentable house Chianti, a far better than expected steak and running across this sentence in a book about Bach and Fredrick the Great:

Anger must exist, but take care that it occur as is proper and in your command ...

It was the singular use of occur that raised my spirits. Christ I think I need to do some nasty drugs and listen to loud rock and roll this is getting ridiculous.

I think you'll find it's subjunctive plural, not singular

[Tom B]

The subjunctive is singular  (in both senses)and invariable, but I think Phil knows that

[Phil]

The subjunctive is singular  (in both senses)and invariable, but I think Phil knows that

Is it? I had thought it was simply indeclinable in English, and the number had to be inferred from context.

[Seineseeker]

Phew is that all, I thought you'd bought yourself a bar bag with a see through bit for a map for a minute.

[Hot Flatus]

....or sitting in the corner of the hotel room with a tie and belt around your neck and attached to your foot.


Oh come on.

Don't look at me like that.

We've all tried it.

Haven't we?

H

A while back a middle-aged guy was found dead in his house down the road by his estranged wife. He was wearing a nurses outfit and had auto-asphyxiated.  The walls were papered with images of scantily clad nurses wearing breathing apparatus, which was his thing, according to ex-wifey.

I didn't even know such a perversion existed , nor that it was catered for.

[Julian]

I thought that one was positively common - didn't an MP die of auto-asphyxiation in the 80s?

As for the nurses with breathing apparatus, I suggest you pick up a copy of Bizarre on the way home; they seem to feature every other issue.

[border-rider]

I thought that one was positively common - didn't an MP die of auto-asphyxiation in the 80s?

Yep, a Tory MP died with an orange in his mouth.  Very sad for his family, but the starting point for a zillion jokes.

His semi-nude body, wearing only items of women's underwear and stockings, was reportedly found draped across a kitchen table in his London flat by his house cleaner

STEPHEN MILLIGAN, was a Tory MP and Parliamentary Private Secretary to the notorious arms dealer Jonathan Aitken, then a minister in the Tory government. On 7th February 1994, he was reported to have been found tied to a chair with a plastic bag over his head and a satsuma stuffed into his mouth. The usual embarrassment surrounding these cases seem to have prevented the press from carrying out an in-depth investigation into various discrepancies in the case. Aitken, was known to have an particular interest in Sado-Masochistic sex...

But of course that wasn't the real story

[Nick H.]

Ah yes, the MP with the orange in his mouth http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephen_Milligan

Never thought to try the breathing apparatus. I dated a nurse for 10 years and never even made her put on her uniform. 

[Wowbagger]

http://www.newsmedianews.com/milligan.shtml

1994. MP for Eastleigh. John Major's finest hour.

[delthebike]

Can you still see your willy without the use of smoke and mirrors?

I can see a flaw in this query. Namely lots of of children and teenagers who are obese or just plain old fat/overweight/big boned/Mummies little soldier. Delete as applicable.

[Tom B]

Is it? I had thought it was simply indeclinable in English, and the number had to be inferred from context.

My turn to blush  are we saying the same thing but using different terms. I said 'singular' because the subject is 'it' and used the word 'invariable' because it doesn't inflect (i.e. there's no third-person singular -s). Can we say that verbs are indeclinable? Maybe I'll go to Macclesfield and look up my old Latin master. Maybe not. Maybe I'd do better to go there, buy some Don Miller's custard donuts and ride up to the Cat and Fiddle to eat them.

Phew is that all, I thought you'd bought yourself a bar bag with a see through bit for a map for a minute

Post of the week? 

[Phil]

Is it? I had thought it was simply indeclinable in English, and the number had to be inferred from context.

My turn to blush  are we saying the same thing but using different terms. I said 'singular' because the subject is 'it' and used the word 'invariable' because it doesn't inflect (i.e. there's no third-person singular -s). Can we say that verbs are indeclinable?

Oh yeah, you're right. 

*headdesk*

[alan]

. Christ I think I need to do some nasty drugs and listen to loud rock and roll this is getting ridiculous.

 I have found that giving the drugs a miss but sticking with the loud r&r has comforted me through middle age into early old age

[Hot Flatus]

I thought that one was positively common - didn't an MP die of auto-asphyxiation in the 80s?

As for the nurses with breathing apparatus, I suggest you pick up a copy of Bizarre on the way home; they seem to feature every other issue.

What's Bizarre?

[JohnP]

http://www.bizarremag.com/



I'd never heard of it either  but google helped out
signed
pinochio

[Hummers]

MMmphh Mmmpphfff Mmmmmphfff

Mphf