Author Topic: ***CoronaBonus***  (Read 64558 times)

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #250 on: 29 March, 2020, 02:57:28 pm »
"I WISH MY WIFE WERE* AS DIRTY AS MY VAN" is the best I've seen, although "THIS IS AN ANTI-GLARE COATING FOR NIGHT DRIVING" was also good.

*use of the subjunctive probably not universal for this one
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #251 on: 29 March, 2020, 03:10:52 pm »
"I WISH MY WIFE WERE* AS DIRTY AS MY VAN" is the best I've seen

Especially when someone adds "SHE IS" underneath.
"Yes please" said Squirrel "biscuits are our favourite things."

FatBloke

  • I come from a land up over!
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #252 on: 29 March, 2020, 05:56:23 pm »
Except Stealth bombers, if you live here
How would you know?   ::-)

This isn't just a thousand to one shot. This is a professional blood sport. It can happen to you. And it can happen again.

FatBloke

  • I come from a land up over!
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #253 on: 29 March, 2020, 05:57:43 pm »
The cough I developed 4 days ago persuaded my dear wife to move into the spare room.

My cough got better.  :demon:
Have you told her?   ;)
This isn't just a thousand to one shot. This is a professional blood sport. It can happen to you. And it can happen again.

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #254 on: 29 March, 2020, 06:28:10 pm »
Except Stealth bombers, if you live here
How would you know?   ::-)

Because you hear them first, and then if you look for where the noise is coming from you can see a little man in a sitting position at 3000ft.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #255 on: 30 March, 2020, 07:25:12 am »
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/mar/30/astrophysicist-gets-magnets-stuck-up-nose-while-inventing-coronavirus-device

Doesn't make it into the Darwin thread, but you should had seen my wife's face when I read the headline
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #256 on: 30 March, 2020, 09:09:51 am »
Had a good cackle at that this morning.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

rr

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #258 on: 30 March, 2020, 04:38:19 pm »

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #259 on: 30 March, 2020, 06:31:29 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #260 on: 30 March, 2020, 06:33:25 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?
Plenty round here.

Plus some bold-as-brass thefts of vehicles from farms during the day.

Thefts from gardens and houses at night.

People are desperate. Desperate people take risks.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #261 on: 30 March, 2020, 06:39:22 pm »
No road kill.  Normally see quite a few of the crepuscular creatures flattened on the roads as dawn and the early morning commute coincide.  Not this year.
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #262 on: 30 March, 2020, 06:58:53 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?
Plenty round here.

Plus some bold-as-brass thefts of vehicles from farms during the day.

Thefts from gardens and houses at night.

People are desperate. Desperate people take risks.
I wonder if it's a rural v urban thing? In a city (we're quite central here) there's more chance of being seen by cops or someone, which wouldn't normally matter but now looks immediately suspicious, and there are perhaps more alternative illicit income opportunities (drugs I suppose). I remember staying on a farm campsite about ten miles north of Gloucester last year and the farmer said he hoped I wasn't planning to leave before about 7a.m. (!) as he'd have the gate locked to keep his Land Rover safe. A problem that doesn't seem to bother people here (scooters on the other hand seem as permanent as soap bubbles).
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #263 on: 30 March, 2020, 07:02:14 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?
Plenty round here.

Plus some bold-as-brass thefts of vehicles from farms during the day.

Thefts from gardens and houses at night.

People are desperate. Desperate people take risks.

Plenty of crime still happening round here, too. I've even seen more stolen bike alerts than usual. :(

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #264 on: 30 March, 2020, 08:38:14 pm »
The Wizzair flight that just passed overhead is early! 
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

vorsprung

  • Opposites Attract
    • Audaxing
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #265 on: 31 March, 2020, 11:51:28 am »
the kitchen smells of cake

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #266 on: 31 March, 2020, 01:59:28 pm »
Is that cake? Or Caaaaaake?

We know what you've been doing  ;)

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #267 on: 31 March, 2020, 02:24:00 pm »
The Google 3D animals. Search for one of them (on your phone) eg penguin, bear, duck, under the Wikipedia article, choose "View in 3d". Enjoy.

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #268 on: 31 March, 2020, 08:13:49 pm »
I work on an ex-RAF base; like most, the layout is basically 2 runways, joined up with a few newer roads, plus a few extra side-roads, etc etc. Normally you can't walk down the pavements at lunchtime without stepping round people every few yards.

Today I went full Cillian Murphy, walking the length of both runways in the middle of the road. Not a single car. Just saw the one pedestrian in the distance. Just me, the rabbits, pigeons and a few kites. Fuckin brilliant (if a little eerie).
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #269 on: 31 March, 2020, 08:52:55 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?
Plenty round here.

Plus some bold-as-brass thefts of vehicles from farms during the day.

Thefts from gardens and houses at night.
People are desperate. Desperate people take risks.

North Yorkshire police caught 2  persons trying to pinch a quad bike from a farm near Skipton.
Pointed out that going out when no-one else was made you more visible than normal.

Local coronabonus-no tolls on Aldwark toll bridge. Not much of a bonus as it was always free for cyclists.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #270 on: 31 March, 2020, 09:30:17 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?

Not a window, but my neighbour had his number plates stolen a couple of days ago.

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #271 on: 31 March, 2020, 10:30:22 pm »
Fans of Taskmaster may be amused by visiting the TM You Tube channel to see what Hometasking tasks Alex Horne has been setting the populace and which ones Greg liked best.
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #272 on: 31 March, 2020, 10:59:44 pm »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?

Not a window, but my neighbour had his number plates stolen a couple of days ago.

Apparently the advice now is to have a star put in the corner of the new ones so they can be identified against the stolen ones. Take a photo to show where the star is, I guess.
It is simpler than it looks.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #273 on: 01 April, 2020, 08:58:47 am »
I haven't seen a single smashed car window since the lockdown started. I don't know if the normal thieves of things in cars are scared of catching coronavirus or more likely feel they stand out too much now everything's closed and there's not a soul out (car break-ins are a nocturnal pastime round here). Or perhaps bigger opportunities have opened up for them?

Not a window, but my neighbour had his number plates stolen a couple of days ago.

Apparently the advice now is to have a star put in the corner of the new ones so they can be identified against the stolen ones. Take a photo to show where the star is, I guess.
Hopefully he's only going to get speeding and parking tickets not nicked for bank robbery etc.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: ***CoronaBonus***
« Reply #274 on: 01 April, 2020, 11:10:19 am »
My junk mail folder is noticeably thinner the last few days.

My xkcd://1279 doppelgangers have been having an online shopping fest.  One of them appears to be attempting to fight the virus with essential oils.

Mine has signed up to the Daily Wire this week. The daily email is like peering into a festering sewer

(note - this is not a bonus)