Three Guys In A Pub ................
........say to the barman
'We drink in here every night after work & have done for a couple of years.
How about a reward for our loyalty mate?'
The barman thinks & says 'go home tonight & do the first thing your wife says,
prove it & i will give you free beer for a month.
First bloke comes back to the pub the next day covered in soot & ash.
'What happened to you?' says the barman.
'I went home last night & had a smoke but dropped some ash on the carpet'
'Burn the whole damn house down why dont ya? says the wife - so i did'
'Free beer my good man' says the barman.
Second bloke comes in covered in dust & rubble.
'What happened to you?' asks the barman.
'I had a few too many & drove the car home.I hot the garage wall & the
wife comes out shouting - knock the whole flipping house down why dont
ya? - so i did'
'Free beer for you too' says the barman.
Third bloke walks in covered in blood & stuff, looks a real mess.
'Blimey, what on earth happened to you?' asks the barman.
I went home last night late & climbed into bed with the wife. I felt a bit horny
so i put my hand between her legs and played with her jack and danny for a bit.
“She said 'you can cut that out for a start”
………………oops!