Yet Another Cycling Forum
Off Topic => The Pub => Topic started by: Pete on 29 June, 2008, 08:36:12 am
-
Well, I regularly trawl the 'bulk' spam-divert folder of my E-mail provider, just in case a legit. E-mail falls in by mistake. I was perplexed by the following subject line:
"what a stupid face you have here ------------"
ending up with my E-mail address.
I figured that, in amongst all the p*nis/br*ast enlargers, the casinos, the online drugs, the cheap watches, the 'bank security' messages, etc. etc., that one was worth a deeper look. Disappointingly, in place of the expected torrent of abuse, the message consisted of nothing but a URL (not clicked on! ::-)).
Anyone else had a look at their spam and noticed anything really odd?
-
Not really odd, but one this mornig "You have high blood pressure", to which my response was "and who's fault is that then?"
-
You look really stupid ******@***** ....
However, I suspect not as stupid as I would look if i opened the *.exe file that your email contained
-
In my Spam folder, I've noticed a few interesting ones I've not seen before:-
Queen Elizabeth abducted in Tibet
and
Earthquake in California destroys Schwarzenegger house
plus
Madonna admits to adultery
How utterly boring.
-
Prompted by the 'bump', I had another quick look. Here's a good one:
Will Smith found dead in bathtub
Please don't get alarmed! He's fine, I tell ye!
-
- Let's be friends with benefits xoxo lets talk@www.cutepamela.com
- Curso Aprenda a Investir na Bolsa de Valores em Campinas
-
I had "Michael Jackson found dead in oxygen tent" yesterday, that was quite good.
I'm still impressed by the "penis 2.0" ones. They make I larf.
-
Subjects from spam folder:-
- Project review meeting now at 3pm
- Questions on your recent code changes
- Latest bug figures from QA department
- Please update your goals/targets/achievements prior to review
...
Subjects from Inbox:-
<empty>
I do like aggressive filtering.
-
This one came today ;D
God dag,
Fuck beer! Got sexy girl?
Click here
Had the best antidote against imaginative dread and stood
there for a moment, shielding her eyes a minced lemon, a
faggot of sweet herbs, and being left there by some missionary
father or native why not, my friend? Poirot assured him.
me, i word. On paper miss wills was witty and cynical, they
were again so lively that they went to a for i knows of
none else. They always calls me with delighted gratitude
that the journey might or the bishop, how could anybody
tell which one for spring garments. I bet yer, mawruss!
you take scollopshells. Being boil'd, take out the meat,
of church discipline had withdrawn him for some on the top
of the door. Obviously it had missed the nominees of the
late democratic administration,.
-
In the days that I received about 300 spams a day I did used to trawl them for genuine mails. I once found "increase your penis by 3" without drugs" followed immediately by "beautiful girls are waiting to meet you". That amused me a bit.
-
Hope will be your mould supplier
(Sadly I'd misread this; it turned out to be the slightly more mundane:
Hope we will be your mould supplier )
(and more disappointingly, they're selling shaped moulds, not the living kind)
-
From today:
Living proof that the earth is flat available
:o
-
And from today:
Mermaid discovered off NZ coast
-
And from today:
Mermaid discovered off NZ coast
I got that one, was it true?
-
Paris Hilton wins Pullitzer Prize
-
And from today:
Mermaid discovered off NZ coast
I got that one, was it true?
Dunno, I didn't open the E-mail... ;) Probably lying in wait to inflict p*nct*res on passing pedalo boats, I reckon. Come to think of it, I could have posted "Fairy encountered on A275 late at night" but that'd hardly be a story....
-
"Your work colleagues have Mafia connections"
-
"nazi Toddlers Ruined My Birthday"
??? ;D
-
Ronald Reagan Prime Suspect In Bank Robbery
-
New one:
"God Accepts Responsability for Hurricane Katrina"
-
Horse kicks Harrison Ford in stomach
-
There's a spate of these, isn't there. Someone, somewhere, is having great fun making them up.
-
They are, indeed. Latest crop:
Boy 4, pulls off sister's ear
Horse gets swallowed by snake
JFK long-lost heir found
-
Schwarzenegger Admits Starting California Wildfires
Madonnas Former Home Destroyed By Jesus
-
Obama Sex Tape
(I think it's a measure of the zeitgeist that I get a lot of faux-Obama spam and no faux McCain spam)
-
My mate's been collecting them
" I am increasingly amused by some of the spam emails I've been getting lately, offering fake headlines in hopes of inducing people to click on their links. Here's just a sample:
"Killer dogs rip girl to shreds, state considering ban"
"Paris Hilton Lectures On Dickens And Dostoevski"
"JFK long-lost heir found"
""brainstorming" To Be Banned Under Equality And Diversity Rules"
"Osama backs gangs and mafias"
"Massive firearms seizure at NY cargo terminal gives clues to terrorist plans"
"Sleeping around helps in anti aging"
"Drilling finds oil in New York City"
"Horse bites man's neck in zoo"
"US Senator found guilty of treason"
"Boob grabber caught on cctv"
"Horse gets swallowed by snake"
"Fox News Personally Confirms Pope's Death"
"Theodore Roosevelt Was A Gay Man"
"NASA discovers unknown planet in solar system, alien lifeforms likely"
"Bush admits to anti-semitism"
"Used condoms found in Obama's suitcase during election campaign"
"Ninja attack in New York Times Square"
"Both Obama And Mccain Claim That They Will Deport Elton John"
None of these, however, can quite beat my favourite, which harks back to a more old-school spamming style, but which is simply charming:
"Brring your wife We'll ffuck her! That's right we'll fuckk your wife!"
-
Angelina Jolie Set To Destroy Own Vagina
-
Heather To Have Other Leg Removed
-
Ronald Reagan Prime Suspect In Bank Robbery
Unlikely.
-
Attack of the zombie negroes: Dick Cheney
Laika The Russian Space Dog, Returns To Earth
-
I remember the one, from when I was a kid, that went:
Archduke Franz Ferdinand found alive! WWI a mistake!
but that wasn't from spam, indeed it pre-dates the internet by at least 40 years.
And then there was the appearance on the scene, in the 1960s, of Grand Duchess Anastasia (I think?) - who claimed to have survived the shoot-out at Ekaterinenburg....
-
I got this one yesterday:
From: jacque killer <lifeterminator@gmail.com>
To: Mr Larrington
Subject: YOUR LIFE IS IN DANGER......
SOMEONE YOU CALL YOUR FRIEND, WANTS YOU DEAD.
Attention:
I felt very sorry and bad for you, that your life is going to end like this if you don't comply, i was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within10 days.Someone you call your friend wants you dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told us that he wants you dead and he provided us your names, photograph and other necessary information we needed about you. If you are in doubt with this I will send you to death.
Meanwhile, I have sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation, but I ordered them to stop for a while and not to strike immediately because I just felt something good and sympathetic about you. I decided to contact you first and know why somebody will want you dead by all means. Right now my men are monitoring you, their eyes are on you, and even the place you think is safer for you to hide might not be. Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? It is up to you. Get back to me now if you are ready to enter deal with me, I mean life trade, who knows, and I might just spear your life, $9,000 is all you need to spend. You will first of all pay $1,500 usd then I will send the tape of the person that want you dead to you and when the tape gets to you, you will pay the remaining $7,500 usd If you are not ready for my help, then I will have no choice but to carry on the assignment after all I have already being paid before now.
Warning: do not think of contacting the police or even tell anyone because I will extend it to any member of your family since you are aware that somebody want you dead, and the person knows all members of your family as well. For your own good I will advise you not to go out once is 7pm until I make out time to see you and give you the tape of my discussion with the person who want you dead then you can use it to take any legal action.
Good luck as I await your urgent respond.
Thanks,
:o
-
So either he kills you, or you pay him $9000 and he will "spear your life". :o
I'd say you're screwed either way. :-*
-
Ladies and Gentlemen
I believe we have a winner
-
Attention to me...
I am your chance: Welcome to the Euro Club Casino
! (http://golden-mountains.net/)
Body, not subject, but weird!
-
Not succinct:-
"Discover the rewards that come with Advantage membership and start earning money from HM Revenue & Customs Advantage Program"
Greetings from HM Revenue & Customs
The contents of this email and any attachments are confidential and as applicable, copyright in these is reserved to HM Revenue & Customs.
Unless expressly authorised by us, any further dissemination or distribution of this email or its attachments is prohibited.
Today, after the last annual calculation of your fiscal activity we have determined that your are eligible to receive a tax refund of 224,58 GBP
We have attached the tax refund form with your "tax refund number id: UK/38HMRC928841", complete the tax refund form attached to this message.
Welcome to HM Revenue & Customs Advantage(R) program, the first and largest loyalty program in the world!
We are proud to inform you that last week HM Revenue & Customs launch a new reward program.
I'm writing to confirm that after Advantage(R) program we have determined that you are eligible to receive the bonus of 100.00 GBP.
Your total amount is 324,58 GBP, please complete the form attached to this message and follow the steps.
Thank you very much for your help and your patient and hope you will enjoy the HM Revenue & Customs reward program in the future.
Sincerely,
HM Revenue & Customs Reward Department
Please do not reply to this auto-answer message
Discover the rewards that come with Advantage membership and start earning money from HM Revenue & Customs Advantage Program or:
* leading hotel chains
* car rental agencies
* credit/debit cards
* dining
* financial services
* retail and gifts
* vacations and cruises
It comes with a pdf attachment.
-
While the subject of this one was utterly mundane, the content caused me to grin a bit:
--
OFFICE OF THE PRIME MINISTER
TREASURY AND MINISTER FOR CIVIL SERVICE,
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.
Our ref: ATM/13470/IDR
Your ref:...Date: 26/11/2009
IMMEDIATE PAYMENT NOTIFICATION
I am The Rt Hon Gordon Brown MP,Prime Minister British Government. This letter is to officially inform you that (ATM Card Number 048000101775550) has been accredited with your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is 477.The VISA Card Value is ?60,000.00 (Four Hundred and Sixty Thousand, Great British Pounds Sterling).
This office will send to you a Visa/ATM CARD that you will use to withdraw your funds in any ATM MACHINE CENTER or Visa card outlet anywhere in the world with a maximum of ?000 GBP daily. Further more,You will be required to re-confirm the following information to enable;The Rt Hon David Miliband MP Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Office. begin in processing of your VISA CARD.
(1)Full names: (2)Address: (3)Country: (4)Nationality: (5)Phone #:
(6)Age: (7)Occupation: (8) Post Codes:
TAKE NOTICE: That you are warned to stop further communications with any other person(s) or office(s) different from the staff of the State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to avoid hitches in receiving
your payment.
Regards,
The Rt Hon Gordon Brown MP
Prime Minister
How daft are these people?
-
I had a new one this week that foxed me completely in terms of why/WTF ...
It was for a Russian girl (no photo or measurements supplied) wittering on about being poor and asking if I could send her a wood-burning stove.
Now, unless I'm missing something and "wood-burning stove" has an alternative meaning (I may have led a sheltered life?) then what's it all about?
Whatever - I sent her my bank details anyway ;D ;D
Rob
-
" In a Sieve they went to sea " ??? ???
and
"Droid that killed politicians" ???
-
Just had another odd one today :
============
Dear friends,
We are a small singing group (four people) from St. Petersburg, Russia. We often go on concert tours abroad and we would be happy to give concert at your venue, church or hall. Please, contact us if interested or able to help.
Kind regards
Andrey Sysoev
LYRA vocal ensemble
St. Petersburg, Russia
============
Perhaps they'll all wear wetsuits under their clothes and jump off the ferry in Poole harbour en route .... if you've seen the news in the last day or two
Rob
-
I had a new one this week that foxed me completely in terms of why/WTF ...
It was for a Russian girl (no photo or measurements supplied) wittering on about being poor and asking if I could send her a wood-burning stove.
Now, unless I'm missing something and "wood-burning stove" has an alternative meaning (I may have led a sheltered life?) then what's it all about?
That one is easy. The woodburning stove is something so simple and basic that it doesn't seem an extravagance; the hope is that you will help out because of this. However, they are also big and heavy and expensive to ship to her, so she'll helpfully suggest that you just send the cash instead and she can buy one locally - they are only about US$150.
Elena or Olya are the common names of the young lady in question.
-
"where are you so that i could get a kitten"
on an empty email
followed a few minutes later by an email from the same person with no subject, but containing the text:
"please anwer me back!
i would like to geta gray or black kitten that is not not too puffy."
Well yes. Who'd want a puffy kitten ? (actually, I might...)
-
While the subject of this one was utterly mundane, the content caused me to grin a bit:
--
OFFICE OF THE PRIME MINISTER
TREASURY AND MINISTER FOR CIVIL SERVICE,
LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.
Our ref: ATM/13470/IDR
Your ref:...Date: 26/11/2009
IMMEDIATE PAYMENT NOTIFICATION
I am The Rt Hon Gordon Brown MP,Prime Minister British Government. This letter is to officially inform you that (ATM Card Number 048000101775550) has been accredited with your favor. Your Personal Identification Number is 477.The VISA Card Value is ?60,000.00 (Four Hundred and Sixty Thousand, Great British Pounds Sterling).
This office will send to you a Visa/ATM CARD that you will use to withdraw your funds in any ATM MACHINE CENTER or Visa card outlet anywhere in the world with a maximum of ?000 GBP daily. Further more,You will be required to re-confirm the following information to enable;The Rt Hon David Miliband MP Secretary of State for Foreign and Commonwealth Office. begin in processing of your VISA CARD.
(1)Full names: (2)Address: (3)Country: (4)Nationality: (5)Phone #:
(6)Age: (7)Occupation: (8) Post Codes:
TAKE NOTICE: That you are warned to stop further communications with any other person(s) or office(s) different from the staff of the State for Foreign and Commonwealth Affairs to avoid hitches in receiving
your payment.
Regards,
The Rt Hon Gordon Brown MP
Prime Minister
How daft are these people?
This morning I received an almost word-for-word copy of this one, save that it purported to come from David Cameron and my details should be sent to William Hague.
A pity, then, that it still concludes with the salutation from Gordon Brown ;D
-
Perhaps it's secretly a broader coalition than we thought ;)
-
This morning I received an almost word-for-word copy of this one, save that it purported to come from David Cameron and my details should be sent to William Hague.
well, we are told there is no money left. Maybe this is indicative of the new culture of thrift and enterprise we are all to soon start to enjoy :)
-
Actually, any emails about money being handed out should be going just to the very rich, as usual.
-
Subject: United Nations Payment from Mr. Banki Moon
Attention:
How are you today? Hope all is well with you and family? You may not understand why this email came to you. We have been having a meeting for the passed 7
months which ended 2 days ago with the then secretary to the UNITED NATIONS.
This email is to all the people that have been scammed in any part of the world, the UNITED NATIONS have agreed to compensate them with the sum of USD $850,000
(Eight hundred and fifty thousand United State Dollars Only), This also includes every foreign contractors that may have not received their contract sum, and people that
have had an unfinished transaction or international businesses that failed due to Government problems etc.
We found your name in our list and that is why we are contacting you, this has been agreed upon and have been signed.
You are advised to contact Rev. Dale Robinson of INTERCONTINENTAL BANK NIGERIA PLC, as he is our representative in Nigeria, contact him immediately for your
payment of USD$850,000 (Eight hundred and fifty thousand United State Dollars Only)which way you need the fund to be delivered. So he will send it to you and you
can clear it in any bank of your choice.
You are advice to get in contact with Rev. Dale Robinson and provide him with below information.
Full Name:
Address:
Telephone Number:
Person to Contact Rev. Dale Robinson
Email: c-care_intercontinentalbplc-ng@blog.lt
Tel: +234- 705 -7216-967
Thanks and God bless you and your family.
Hoping to hear from you as soon as you cash your Fund.
Making the world a better place.
Regards,
Mr. Ban Ki-Moon
UN Secretary General
-
Ever wondered where they come from ?
See where spam originates (http://www.google.com/postini/threat_network.html)
There is one at Bank Tube station in London ...
-
...doesn't that mostly suggest that (1) the Indians don't mask their IPs as much as the rest and (2) that IP densi-throb doesn't necessarily match spam volume?
-
Saw one today that I thought was promoting a music video. Turned out that 'Rock Hard All Night' was one of 'the usual' ones! ::-)
-
"Your wife photos attached"
-
"Your woman exposes – you get super-boosted male steeple! Super offer of super male assistants! Get 70 off for famous blue pillules for delicate needs."
-
From: Support (mdonald@holmbergclockworks.com)
Subject: you want big love
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
(Then in BIFF-stylee bigcaps)
DATING RUSSIAN GIRLS
VIDEO CHAT
WWW.THEFINTESS.COM
(Back to normal type)
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
-
I get this one oft, on my blog ...
smj, phwhf xi anvcgcwv d sufzt.
otnq ceocjlqr q ee h!
mgz free hd porn
, cmvf gz oq q trsf o.
srpslb enmkpu nntx y pwbu. wex, avatar porn
, ezok z iqbnzuhn i glvoaq uc ozww ruk.
mkx mg fmh.
Eh? even the links with in the spam are broken.
-
Subject: Invitation to Submit an Article
Dear Dr. XXXXX,
I am writing to invite you to submit an article to "Advances in Meteorology," which provides a rapid forum for the dissemination of original research articles as well as review articles in all areas of meteorology.
I'm not a meteorologist - or even close ...
-
Subject: Invitation to Submit an Article
Dear Dr. XXXXX,
I am writing to invite you to submit an article to "Advances in Meteorology," which provides a rapid forum for the dissemination of original research articles as well as review articles in all areas of meteorology.
I'm not a meteorologist - or even close ...
Send them that joke about using a cat to forecast the weather - put the cat out and if it's wet when in comes back in then it's raining etc.
-
A Prototype Feline Precipitation Detector ;)
-
received today
Big=Penis is like an=expensive car!
What? I thought it was the other way round
-
Yesterday:
Enlarge your ~Penis up to 3 per month!
I didn't reply - cos I (sadly) only have one.
-
And one this morning:
Big penis like a girl!
WTF
-
And one this morning:
Big penis like a girl!
WTF
I just got that!!!!! are the mods selling off our email addresses to some strange transexual society? ;D
-
Not a subject, but a very, very desperate girl. I've had this one about 8 times.
Hello , i am Lauren,
I found your email in my friends list,
i think we talked some time at the one of social networks or not.
So i will remind you a little bit about me, i live in USA , Atlanta, GA.
I love to travel, visit new places, new countries. I am planning to visit UK once again,
that is why i am looking for friends here, it is always more interesting to travel
and to have good time together then alone.
So if you live in UK and you are single i will wait your email.
I am not interested in correspondence if you are married or have a girlfriend.
My e-mail is: lauren@laurenkisses.com
I hope to get your answer and of course i want to see your photo.
Have a good day
Kisses
Lauren
-
I think this would win an award for Largest Amount of Cash Offered:
TRANSFER OF $45,500.000.00MILLION DOLLARS!
Wednesday, 26 January, 2011 18:28
From:
"GENERAL FAMOUS ADUNGA KUFFOUR" <generalfamousadung@yahoo.com
Famous is a pretty cool first name, too.
-
Dip Your Testicles In This To Shrink Your Prostate
-
Dip Your Testicles In This To Shrink Your Prostate
With a picture of Crispin Blunt underneath?