Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 303293 times)

Jacomus

  • My favourite gender neutral pronoun is comrade
Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« on: 20 April, 2008, 08:02:12 pm »
What is it about riding a bicycle that makes something fire in oiks brains that makes them hurl abuse / pass comment on sed cyclist. It is like triggering a sub-set of tourettes which makes them shout the first thing that comes into their squitty little brains.

Last night on the way home:

"Oi mate! Your wheels are going round!"

wff ???

I've also had:

"GAAAAAAAAAAAY"

"W@nk-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"Oi mate! I f*cked your mum!"

"Get a car!"

"Gizza go mate!"


"The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity." Amelia Earhart

Chris S

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #1 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:06:38 pm »
Another good reason to ride with an MP3 player blasting away.

I've also had:

"Oi - that's my bike!"

"Get a life" (This from a completely pi$$ed snoutcast outside a pub)

"Can't afford a car?" (I have two)

"Waaaaaaaaa" whilst mooning at me in the middle of the street. Tch... East Dereham  ::-) Nuff said.

It's better than watching telly!

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #2 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:07:57 pm »
Because you're different to them - you have a problem with that?

Treewheeler

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #3 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:10:50 pm »
Chav with Chavet in village to Tuggo.
 "Oy mate your...etc..."
Tuggo pulls over to respond to Chavet.
 "Do you know your boyfriend and I had penetrative sex only last week in the back of 'that' ladies shopping car..."
Rides off to a stunned silence...

Kathy

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #4 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:13:55 pm »
I've also had:

"Oi - that's my bike!"

Me too - shortly before then being chased by the shouters, who, when I reported it to the police the next day, had previously kicked another cyclist unconscious. :-\

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #5 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:16:31 pm »
I prefer to celebrate the half decent ones.

When riding my 'bent:

"Oi, do you get all your exercise lying down, luv?

 ::-)
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #6 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:16:49 pm »

"Oi mate! I f*cked your mum!"

I hate it when my dad gets drunk near my commute...
Getting there...

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #7 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:17:50 pm »
I'm not sure. Had a bunch of them pretend to jump out in front me the other day, the little darlings, they found that very amusing.

Lots of random shouts on one bit of last night's FNRTTC (just where was that!?)

'Wankers!' was one (never been called that before!!)

And 'wooo Girl Power'! Even though there were only about half a dozen of us 'girls' in our 36-strong group.

rower40

  • Not my boat. Now sold.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #8 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:18:10 pm »
You've never been heckled properly unless you've ridden a recumbent through a dodgy 'hood.

"Where're your handlebars?" is a favourite.  (Although they wouldn't get the spelling of 'Where', 'are', and 'your' right.)

"Gizza Go" is another sure-fire hit on the game of Chav-Verbal-Bingo.

Brompton-riding can often lead to calls of "Watchoo doing onna kid's bike?"
Be Naughty; save Santa a trip

Treewheeler

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #9 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:18:14 pm »
I've also had:

"Oi - that's my bike!"

Me too - shortly before then being chased by the shouters, who, when I reported it to the police the next day, had previously kicked another cyclist unconscious. :-\

 If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Treewheeler

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #10 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:19:08 pm »
I prefer to celebrate the half decent ones.

When riding my 'bent:

"Oi, do you get all your exercise lying down, luv?

 ::-)
I do believe she may burn a few calories in that fashion... ;)

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #11 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:19:52 pm »
Tandem and trike seemed to bring out the choicest idiocies. Such as, when my wife and I were on the tandem - "Oi! Look, a tricycle!" (Yes, you read correctly.)

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #12 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:20:08 pm »
Strangely enough, I have much more positive things shouted or said...

Getting there...

Treewheeler

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #13 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:24:28 pm »
Tandem and trike seemed to bring out the choicest idiocies. Such as, when my wife and I were on the tandem - "Oi! Look, a tricycle!" (Yes, you read correctly.)
Actually, I hate to correct you Mr Heresy...
 But the correct insult is to shout "Oy mate you got a free weewl byke mate"
   'Kiss my two wheel drive unit' is a response often lost on the average Chav/Chavette...

cc93

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #14 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:28:12 pm »
Strangely enough, I have much more positive things shouted or said...

Same here

2 comments on this mornings misty ride, both compliments on the flashing Solidlights - the best being the bemused dog owner apologising for his mutt hiding behind a tree, 'your light scared him'  :)

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #15 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:32:57 pm »
I had someone shout "you f***ing c**t" at me from a passing car as I staggered home on foot after a curry and some beers, last night.


How ever did he know?  ???

Clare

  • Is home
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #16 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:36:00 pm »
Another from FNRttC, a young lady stood at the bottom of one of the hills yelled something along the lines of "It's the Tour de France, Fwooooar" at the front runners, then as I went past she said "C'mon, speed up a bit, you're going too slow."

Like I needed telling  :(.

Treewheeler

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #17 on: 20 April, 2008, 08:39:59 pm »
I had someone shout "you f***ing c**t" at me from a passing car as I staggered home on foot after a curry and some beers, last night.


How did he know?  ???
Cut you deep hearing such home truths....?
     

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #18 on: 21 April, 2008, 12:26:20 am »
I had someone shout "you f***ing c**t" at me from a passing car as I staggered home on foot after a curry and some beers, last night.


How ever did he know?  ???

I told him.

Sorry.


 ;D ;D ;D

If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #19 on: 21 April, 2008, 12:30:15 am »
I once had some people throw money and shout shout "Kant" at me.

How did they ever know I was an impecunious philosophy student?

Anyway I got my own back. I shouted "Descartes" back.
If you don't like your democracy, vote against it.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #20 on: 21 April, 2008, 12:47:27 am »
A couple years back out on the good bike and full lycra, wearing my buff in a pirate stylee, some 16 year old girl shouted 'Oi Pantani' as I flew by. I was surprised a young chav lass would even know who Pantani was let alone his preferred style of facial hair and headgear. Then I realised she had more than likely yelled 'Ya fanny'.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #21 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:07:33 am »
From a big-wheeled Saxo on the 2006 Dun Run:

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

That's about all I could make out between the din of the bean-can exhaust and the Doppler effect.
And Darkness and Decay and the Coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

Charlotte

  • Dissolute libertine
  • Here's to ol' D.H. Lawrence...
    • charlottebarnes.co.uk
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #22 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:27:18 am »
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:
Commercial, Editorial and PR Photographer - www.charlottebarnes.co.uk

Chris S

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #23 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:31:30 am »
If I stay in th U.K any longer the I shall be riding with an extendable police baton and mace spray as standard equipment...

Sadly, I have to leave mine at home.  Carrying either of those items is illegal. 

Fortunately, a Zefal HPX in one hand anna blindingly bright tactical flashlight in the other is a very close approximation...

:demon:

And if a car pulls alongside you when you are riding, I've read in another place of an excellent jape. Lob one of those 130db rape alarms (one that emits a foul smell too) through the passenger window.

Edit: Best to check it's not a police car or your mate or the vicar before launching said attack.

cc93

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #24 on: 21 April, 2008, 09:31:51 am »
Going over Watership Down in a group a while back, we passed a pile of rust which might once have been a Vauxhall Nova complete with pimply youth, can of coke if one hand, MacRatburger in the other who yelled out 'Get A Life'

The group as one dissolved into laughter  :)