Author Topic: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists  (Read 369435 times)

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #800 on: 27 August, 2014, 11:21:29 pm »
Quote
Mum, I want one of *those*!

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #801 on: 28 August, 2014, 07:23:58 am »
What?  They wanted a Kim?
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

tonycollinet

  • No Longer a western province of Númenor
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #802 on: 28 August, 2014, 12:55:07 pm »
On the trike I get a lot of

"Can I have a go on that*"

*I don't think they mean me

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #803 on: 28 August, 2014, 01:07:02 pm »
What?  They wanted a Kim?

I'm fairly sure that rower40 has prior art on that joke.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #804 on: 31 August, 2014, 11:18:33 pm »
"My what toned thighs you have" shouted the blonde lady leaning from the window of an Audi on the A24 near Ryka's.  Actually it might have been "get on the fucking path" but a combination of Doppler induced distortion and bangin choons in my headphones rendered her incomprehensible.  Still, it was a lovely day.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #805 on: 21 October, 2014, 05:29:51 pm »
"That's the smallest caravan I've ever seen!" As I was struggling into the wind with the trailer (with large white box on it).  It made me giggle.

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #806 on: 01 December, 2014, 05:30:25 pm »
Last Night:

"You should have a bell"

From the little kid on a scooter who veered into my path.

The problem was I had called out good evening, seen him look round and move to the side, so assumed he had seen me. In practise he thought the other cyclist just in front of me had called out and not seen me...

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #807 on: 01 December, 2014, 05:37:56 pm »
From the midst of a group of old men (presumably) rekindling their misspent yoof by loitering onna cyclepath:

"'ello Mary!  Look, it's Mary Poppins coming at us..."

I can see how they got there - the black Brompton with a bag on the front concealing all the wobbly wheel business might appear to glide in the afore-mentioned manner, but I had neglected to bring a brolly.  Or a hat.

Dibdib

  • Fat'n'slow
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #808 on: 01 December, 2014, 10:46:54 pm »
Well they were in the bag, surely, along with the hat-stand that they belong on?

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #809 on: 06 December, 2014, 06:55:35 pm »
Oik1 to Oik2: "That's electric."
Me: "No it isn't!"

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #810 on: 06 December, 2014, 07:27:59 pm »
I got that some years ago from a chap on a Catrike as I passed him on my super heavy Dutch bike (powered by legs) going uphill.

To be passed by me must have been terribly embarrassing for him.
There's no vibrations, but wait.

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #811 on: 06 December, 2014, 07:33:11 pm »
I was going uphill, but at about 2mph on approach to some red lights.  I assume that either the gears-inna-can (with associated whirring noises) or - with hindsight - the Capreo hub dynamo, looked enough like a hub motor from a distance.

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #812 on: 06 December, 2014, 07:40:46 pm »
Yes, it was probably the hub dynamo and roller brakes that fooled this chap. It has to be said, he wasn't exactly speeding.
There's no vibrations, but wait.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #813 on: 06 December, 2014, 08:16:25 pm »
Back in the summer I explained to someone that Depravo the Roadrat has a hub dynamo and disc brake.  He promptly glorified the back with too much tech: "'ere, Ricky, 'e's got KERS on 'is bike like wot they 'as on Formurlur Wun cars innit"!
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #814 on: 16 December, 2014, 09:22:48 am »
"Your rear light"
I look at light. Seems normal. Attached to bike. Turned on. Look enquiringly at pedestrian.
"It's flashing!".
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Wascally Weasel

  • Slayer of Dragons and killer of threads.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #815 on: 22 December, 2014, 01:55:52 pm »
"Your rear light"
I look at light. Seems normal. Attached to bike. Turned on. Look enquiringly at pedestrian.
"It's flashing!".

"It's an idiot detector.  I've got it set on proximity alert".

cygnet

  • I'm part of the association
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #816 on: 02 January, 2015, 07:30:26 pm »
"Your rear light"
I look at light. Seems normal. Attached to bike. Turned on. Look enquiringly at pedestrian.
"It's flashing!".

OTOH, I've been (politely) informed that my back light was broken because it wasn't flashing (it was on though)
I Said, I've Got A Big Stick

mcshroom

  • Mushroom
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #817 on: 02 January, 2015, 07:43:15 pm »
Old bloke outside Silloth Coop this afternoon when I was sat on the floor next to my bike eating a sandwich.

"You'll get piles sitting like that!" ???
Climbs like a sprinter, sprints like a climber!

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #818 on: 02 January, 2015, 08:17:06 pm »
I lived in Abbeytown for a couple of years, when I taught in Wigton.  Often used to visit friends in Silloth - I might know him!

Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #819 on: 03 January, 2015, 05:47:05 pm »
Old bloke outside Silloth Coop this afternoon when I was sat on the floor next to my bike eating a sandwich.

"You'll get piles sitting like that!" ???

Don't know why you're surprised, this is common wisdom. Sitting on cold walls (or ground) gives you piles. Didn't your nan tell you that when you were a lad?

Kim

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #820 on: 03 January, 2015, 05:56:51 pm »
Don't know why you're surprised, this is common wisdom. Sitting on cold walls (or ground) gives you piles. Didn't your nan tell you that when you were a lad?

Quite.

The conversation usually went something like:

Nan: "Don't sit like that, you'll get piles."

Small child: "What's piles?"

Nan: "Oh never mind that, but you don't want them."

Small child:  ???

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #821 on: 03 January, 2015, 06:45:40 pm »
I've just caught up with this thread, accidentally, from #796 on. To my surprise, almost every post has made me laugh.
 ;D  :thumbsup:
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Auntie Helen

  • 6 Wheels in Germany
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #822 on: 03 January, 2015, 10:50:31 pm »
Old bloke outside Silloth Coop this afternoon when I was sat on the floor next to my bike eating a sandwich.

"You'll get piles sitting like that!" ???

Don't know why you're surprised, this is common wisdom. Sitting on cold walls (or ground) gives you piles. Didn't your nan tell you that when you were a lad?
I was told sitting on a hot radiator would give me piles.

I just had a lift from a friend in his car and the heated seat was set to 3. I turned it down to 1 to avoid piles.
My blog on cycling in Germany and eating German cake – http://www.auntiehelen.co.uk


quixoticgeek

  • Mostly Harmless
Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #823 on: 12 January, 2015, 03:00:37 pm »

Hope the thread necromancy is ok.

Not so much shouted at by an oik, but as I was cycling along NCR1 in Canterbury, I slowed down to take a 90 degree bend onto a road, there were two chavs on the corner, that I was trying to avoid, but because of them, I had to slow down more than I would like to. As I passed, one of them reached out and grabbed my hair. Not exactly a hard target, it's 30" long. I screeched to a halt 20 yards up the road, and dialled 999. Reporting an assault. Plod came out and actually arrested the oiks. Alas, I wasn't able to say for certain which of the two had grabbed my hair (common assault), so the charge wasn't able to stick. However, seeing as they had things they shouldn't have in their pockets, combined with some previous experience of the criminal justice system, they still got nicked. Complete morons. Alas it does make me twitchy when passing groups, and I've ended up avoiding that bit of NCR1 since :(

Julia

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Beer, bikes, and backpacking
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hellymedic

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Re: Oiks shouting stuff at cyclists
« Reply #824 on: 12 January, 2015, 03:30:44 pm »
Thread resurrection is always OK!

Your tale brings up questions about desirability/suitability of 'NCN' for sole/vulnerable/female  any travellers