A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own

[Mr Larrington]

...So there will be several layers of failure here, but it sounds like a fuck-up at some level.

New piece of kit, ergo new and unthought of ways for it to fail or be made to fail.  At least the most valuable bit was saved.   When I heard it was (probably) an intake cover left in place I wondered if it was a sight line problem.  I.e. the intake design is such that a look from anywhere but *exactly the right viewing angle* wouldn't see the cover.

The F-35 has been flying for 14 years, and in service since 2015. Over 700 are now in service. It's not new, or unfamiliar, and the procedure of using blanks and covers has been established since the early days of flying jets. Whatever processes are in place, people will always find a way to ignore, forget, or neglect them.

There was a case a few years ago in Abroad, where the FOREIGNS live and discreditably feed, wherein someone neglected to put the cover on a pitot tube, which was then found to be a good place to build a nest by a bunch of mud wasps.  With distinctly non-hilarious consequences for anyone on board the aircraft when it re-entered passenger service

[ian]

The car developed a leak causing some consternation among the residents of the Asbestos Palace as neither of them are au fait with the mysterious workings of the less-than-modern motorcar (a now fine c2006 vintage). I did deduce that it probably shouldn't do that, knowledge for which my wife thanked me profusely.

Off to the garage it went and now has a new brake fluid thing. Though in a shocking turn of events, they didn't charge my wife to fix it. Flirting evidently works. Or it was a really easy fix and they're bigging it up.

[Jurek]

The car developed a leak causing some consternation among the residents of the Asbestos Palace as neither of them are au fait with the mysterious workings of the less-than-modern motorcar (a now fine c2006 vintage). I did deduce that it probably shouldn't do that, knowledge for which my wife thanked me profusely.

Off to the garage it went and now has a new brake fluid thing. Though in a shocking turn of events, they didn't charge my wife to fix it. Flirting evidently works. Or it was a really easy fix and they're bigging it up.

Whichever way you cut it, it sounds like a result.

[ian]

I know, I always expect the garageman to suck air through their teeth and declare 'the flanges are gone on your springledockets, you're going to need an entirely new rear quadrangle.'

I confess that I always get my wife to talk to tradespeople just because, well, she's a woman and they usually aren't. One day, there will be a tradeswoman and I'll be left to deploy my wiles. I am terrified of that day.

[andrewc]

I thought that sort of thing only happened in vintage German videos.. 

Oh ........ your _wiles_......   

[Mr Larrington]

Trunnions, mate.  It’s yer trunnions gorn orf-skew.

[Jaded]

The car developed a leak causing some consternation among the residents of the Asbestos Palace as neither of them are au fait with the mysterious workings of the less-than-modern motorcar (a now fine c2006 vintage). I did deduce that it probably shouldn't do that, knowledge for which my wife thanked me profusely.

Off to the garage it went and now has a new brake fluid thing. Though in a shocking turn of events, they didn't charge my wife to fix it. Flirting evidently works. Or it was a really easy fix and they're bigging it up.

Or they were threatened with you.

Or with bears...

[mrcharly-YHT]

The Med is, relatively speaking, a shallow sea, so the recover operation shouldn’t be too difficult.

It seems that they think it might have glided off underwater. Aircraft have wings, who knew?

So they'll search for it with technology. Shouldn't be too hard to find an aircraft designed to be stealthy, right?

[Cudzoziemiec]

I don't suppose they're the only people looking for it. Underwater drones exist though I don't know how deep they can go or how much they could find out about the aircraft without bringing it up to the surface, which would be kind of obvious, or dismantling it underwater, which I suppose would be rather difficult.

How do salvage laws apply to this? What if say a commercial salvage operation finds it first? Whose property is it then?

[Beardy]

I think when it comes to military salvage the law says whoever’s got the biggest gun gets to keep the salvage. 

As for underwater drones, if my memory serves me correctly, the have to be tethered because radio waves cannot propagate below the waves. So any u/w drone would either have to have to be an autonomous AI controlled device or it’s mothership would have to be near at hand. 

[mrcharly-YHT]

Any rumours that Russia's navy are not searching for this because they haven't stopped laughing yet are just rumours, right?

[ian]

Darn, still leaking. I sent her back with instructions to be more milfy.

Odds-on, this means it'll be a £400 bill. Plus divorce solicitors.

[spesh]

Any rumours that Russia's navy are not searching for this because they haven't stopped laughing yet are just rumours, right?

Given what happened when their relic of an aircraft carrier was deployed to the Med in 2016 to provide air support to the Assad regime, they're in no position to laugh.

On 14 November 2016, a MiG-29K crashed into the sea after taking off from the carrier. The pilot ejected safely from the plane and was rescued by helicopter. According to initial reports from Russian officials, the crash was a result of technical malfunction, but it was later revealed that the plane had actually run out of fuel waiting to land while the crew was attempting to repair a broken arresting wire. The carrier commander could have diverted the aircraft to land at a nearby airbase, but hesitated in the hope that the arrestor gear would be repaired in time.
...

On 3 December 2016, an Su-33 crashed into the sea after attempting to land on the carrier. The plane crashed on its second attempt to land on the aircraft carrier in good weather conditions. The pilot was safely recovered by a search and rescue helicopter. Initially it was suspected that the plane missed the wires and failed to go around, falling short of the bow of the warship, but later it was revealed that the arresting cable failed to hold the aircraft, and was damaged in the attempt. Following the two incidents, the air wing was transferred to shore at Khmeimim Air Base near Latakia, Syria to continue military operations while the carrier's arresting gear issues were addressed.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_aircraft_carrier_Admiral_Kuznetsov#2016_Syrian_campaign

ETA - the Russians don't need to try to beat the RN in salvaging the lost F-35. They could simply ask the Chinese, who allegedly had got everything on the aircraft by hacking into computers either at Lockheed Martin or a subcontractor. Hence their rather rapid development of the Chengdu J-20 and Shenyang FC-31 low-observable fighters

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chengdu_J-20#Controversy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shenyang_FC-31#Controversy

[sg37409]

Handy for a bogie or go kart project
https://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/174945741665?ul_ref=https%3A%2F%2Frover.ebay.com%2Frover%2F1%2F711-53200-19255-0%2F1&_mwBanner=1&_rdt=1&ul_noapp=true

[T42]

My Twitter feed "Trends for you" this morning:

Comedy TV: Seinfeld (you can stuff that)
Music: Paul McCartney (yawn)
Movies: Lord of the Rings (yawn)
Trending in France: Apathie (after that lot, is it any bloody wonder?)

[hatler]

Handy for a bogie or go kart project
https://m.ebay.co.uk/itm/174945741665?ul_ref=https%3A%2F%2Frover.ebay.com%2Frover%2F1%2F711-53200-19255-0%2F1&_mwBanner=1&_rdt=1&ul_noapp=true

And what route led you there ?

[ian]

Glanced at a receipt, discovered I was charged twice for a piece of cheese.

It had better taste like £8 of cheese or I'm going to be disappointed.

[hatler]

This could go in a few places, but I finally got round to starting to fettle the long not-working barograph we inherited from the sadly missed FiL.

All it needs is a new AA battery, a new paper chart, and finally, and equally critically, a new fibre tip pen thingamajig.

AA battery. Lots of those.
Chart paper. Stacks of those.
Fire up google search.
How much for one of these do you reckon ?   It's about half an inch long.

(click to show/hide)

£18.95 !!!!!!

[chrisbainbridge]

Why is it so difficult to eat only one mince pie?

[Mrs Pingu]

I'm glad the cooker hood and bathroom extractor fan are getting fitted next week, it's too feckin cold to be cooking and showering with the windaes open.

[Pedaldog.]

A week or so back I, in my usual state of STOOPID, ordered a new Laptop on an interest free deal at 30% cheaper than anywhere else.  Realised what I'd done and arranged to return it this week.
Today I switched on the Old, worked fine, laptop and it wouldn't boot up!  Went through various "Auto Repair" operations and, after 4 1/2 hours, told me the thing wouldn't work and couldn't be reset to basic settings.  The new one WAS scheduled for collection tomorrow.  I'm sure there's some Internet Conspiracy theory that fits this.

[ElyDave]

I'm glad the cooker hood and bathroom extractor fan are getting fitted next week, it's too feckin cold to be cooking and showering with the windaes open.

My office at home is ex-garage, it has no heating and no insulation, I had a call at 6am this morning. My car said minus 3 at 0730. I stole a fan heater from elsewhere in the house at lunchtime, even a second pair of thermal overstocks were  not helping

[mrcharly-YHT]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-59323895.amp  "A British F-35 fighter jet has crashed into the sea during a routine operation in the Mediterranean"


"The pilot ejected and has safely returned to the Royal Navy aircraft carrier HMS Queen Elizabeth"


His insurance premium will be going up a bit.....

https://twitter.com/UKDefJournal/status/1463421274970066947?s=20


https://ukdefencejournal.org.uk/carrier-f-35-crash-potentially-caused-by-rain-cover-being-left-on/


Does the navy still do flogging at the mast ?

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-59470276

Cockpit voice recorder
<grinding noise>
"Shit. How do you get this bloody thing into second gear?"
<more grinding crunching noises>
"Got it. Now, accelerator, no, mirror first. what's that ahead? Oh bollocks"

[Mr Larrington]

In the sidebar of that article was a link to a piece asking “What's Rachel Riley's most embarrassing habit?”  I am so not rising to the bait on that one.

[“POBI is down there vvvv” – Ed.]

[Wowbagger]

Scene: a bedroom somewhere in Southend-on-Sea.

Time: that rather indistinct time between having got dressed and making the decision to go downstairs, whilst 'Er In Bed is still taking tablets and messing with her phone.

"What day is it? Blimey! It's Tuesday! It's also the 30th of November. St Andrew's day!"

pause

"Did you find the bagpipes?"

"No, no bagpipes..."

"'Cos we need to give them a good skirl. Is there anything else that skirls?"

"An elephant?"

"It would be a bit difficult tucking an elephant under your arm to squeeze the air out of it."

"A baby elephant then."

"Then it could help me wash the car!"