Author Topic: A random thread for small things that don't really warrant a thread of their own  (Read 2350371 times)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
I have had people insist that I needed to do that with my stapler, hole punch and ruler on my desk...
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

So far it's only for the communal stapler/laminator/hole punch.  I did think I should do it on my desk just for the lols, but then decided it would inevitable backfire!
We are making a New World (Paul Nash, 1918)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
They'd probably give you a written warning – using the approved template, natch – for using the wrong font.  And don’t try printing them at home and smuggling them into the office disguised as the Q3 Left-Handed Blivet Sales Forecast, because that would be in contravention of Starfleet Directive 28948, section 427.k.  Unless I've got muddled up again and that’s actually the rule banning the consumption of radishes when there’s an “r” in the month.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

The Pure Cremation TV ads brag about their excellent Trustpilot reviews.

The customers of Pure Cremation are people planning their own not-funerals.

So who's writing the reviews?
Through the angel rain, through the dust and the gasoline, through the cruelty of strangers, to the neon dream

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
EO Aquitaine: Want me to find out?
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

A++++ VERY HOT WOULD USE AGAIN
Through the angel rain, through the dust and the gasoline, through the cruelty of strangers, to the neon dream

So who's writing the reviews?
Mr Burns?
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Clearly the creme de la crem.
Get a bicycle. You will never regret it, if you live- Mark Twain

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐  Cured my rheumatism completely :thumbsup:
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Maybe there's an internet for the departed, a kind of dark web where real Bolsheviks hurl insults at real Nazis, and trolls send XXX links to Victorian aunts, all without fear of doxing and physical violence.
Through the angel rain, through the dust and the gasoline, through the cruelty of strangers, to the neon dream

Kim

  • Timelord
Maybe there's an internet for the departed, a kind of dark web where real Bolsheviks hurl insults at real Nazis, and trolls send XXX links to Victorian aunts, all without fear of doxing and physical violence.

Wasn't that an Iain M Banks novel?

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Surface Detail, IIRC
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
  • Mrs Pingu's domestique
    • the Igloo
Which I have just started re-reading.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Apropos of nothing, I was asked today if I could contribute to PROJECT BEARS, I was very tempted to say, "but I don't live in Surrey"
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Apropos of nothing, I was asked today if I could contribute to PROJECT BEARS, I was very tempted to say, "but I don't live in Surrey"
PROJECT BEARS sounds like the command that follows RELEASE THE BATS
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Apropos of nothing, I was asked today if I could contribute to PROJECT BEARS, I was very tempted to say, "but I don't live in Surrey"
PROJECT BEARS sounds like the command that follows RELEASE THE BATS

 ;D
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Apropos of nothing, I was asked today if I could contribute to PROJECT BEARS, I was very tempted to say, "but I don't live in Surrey"
PROJECT BEARS sounds like the command that follows RELEASE THE BATS

Project the BEARS with what, though?

Trying to persuade one to get in a trebuchet BUKKIT is probably best watched from a very long way away... :-X
He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster.
And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

Vernon

  • zzzZZZzzz
Apropos of nothing, I was asked today if I could contribute to PROJECT BEARS, I was very tempted to say, "but I don't live in Surrey"
PROJECT BEARS sounds like the command that follows RELEASE THE BATS

Project the BEARS with what, though?

Trying to persuade one to get in a trebuchet BUKKIT is probably best watched from a very long way away... :-X

Just fill it with hunny? Or a beehive - then you would have an excellent api-ursine projectile with guaranteed levels of angriness.

Apropos of nothing, I was asked today if I could contribute to PROJECT BEARS, I was very tempted to say, "but I don't live in Surrey"
PROJECT BEARS sounds like the command that follows RELEASE THE BATS

Project the BEARS with what, though?

Trying to persuade one to get in a trebuchet BUKKIT is probably best watched from a very long way away... :-X

Neither.

Pre-kittens-on-the-internet-and-slides, people used Overhead Projectors.

These were difficult to focus, usually half the picture was on a wall and half on a screen - the fine details required to appreciate a good kitten meme were just not visible.

Therefore, another cute cuddly animal was used.

Hence Project Bears. 'Project' is a verb in this phrase.

Ian is too young to remember this, and besides, his brain has been entirely subsumed by kitten memes and powerpoint.

He has heard of the instruction to Project Bears, isn't sure what this means, and feels insecure about bears. Hence his fear of bears in Surrey.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
I doubt you could project a bear with an overhead projector though, there's no way one would fit. Not even a small bear. You'd need a specially adapted overhead projector. One of these was developed for just this task in late 80s, at Michigan State. It was so bright that it could be seen in Canada.

Alas, work on this Next Generation Heavy Animal Projector (NG-HAP) was discontinued after four work-study students involved in the project were never seen again. It wasn't so much that they were eaten (and they probably were), but any US university needs young people who will handle dangerous chemicals (and animals) for minimum wage and study credits. These are a finite and treasured resource.

Rumour has it that Los Alamos has one of the prototype NG-HAPs, but they're keeping quiet about it. It goes without saying, but there are stories about the Russians developing their own version, powered by a nuclear bulb and allegedly capable of projecting a small elephant onto a nearby wall. Unfortunately, Unnamed City Number 35 was depopulated in the early 90s after an 'entirely unrelated accident.'
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas

Cudzoziemiec

  • Моя планета голубая, я люблю тебя и обнимаю
A small koala would fit but it would have to be tempted in with some gum.
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Koalas aren't bears though. I'm not sure what they are. Things are odd down there. The other thing about overhead projectors, in the southern hemisphere you have to turn the acetate the other way up or the projection is upside down.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas

Cudzoziemiec

  • Моя планета голубая, я люблю тебя и обнимаю
Omigod! That means an OHP becomes a UAI! (under arse ingestor)
Riding a bike through a city is like navigating the collective neural pathways of a vast global mind.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
I passed through Los Alamos in 2019, having missed the turning onto NM-4.  The guard at the Atomic City Transit Center was very clear that it was expressly forbidden to bring BEARS into the town.  Thanks for nothing, TwatNav.

Edit: found this photo taken on the very last day of my hols in 2018.  After driving thousands of miles through BEAR-infested territory.


P9200127 by Mr Larrington, on Flickr
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime