Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 293336 times)

robgul

  • Cycle:End-to-End webmaster
  • cyclist, Cytech accredited mechanic & woodworker
    • Cycle:End-to-End
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3200 on: 18 June, 2022, 07:57:56 am »
My fast access bikes are (1) the hack bike, currently with a flat tyre (2) A perfectly sensible single speed folder with flat pedals so why oh why oh why, when it came to going out for a "bike ride" with mini Ham (3, who has lost the stabilisers but not yet got brakes) which consists of riding round in circles on the Wanstead Flats (an open space by my home), trying to avoid him and letting him win the "race" did I chose option (3) my titanium commuter with SPD, and THEN compound the issue by putting on those old shoes where I KNEW that there was a cleat/pedal interface issue. Other cleated shoes would have been fine, any other trainer would have been fine.

Two (count 'em, two) clipless moments, much to the hilarity of all (actually Mini Ham was quite concerned: "Grandad's fallen off his bike")

I feel your pain, but at one generation less . . .  a few years ago I rode the London Sightseer Audax (Weds version) on my fixed accompanied by a couple of pals and one of my daughters . . .  all went well (even the hill at Greenwich) - BUT we were stopped by traffic lights outside Charing Cross Station, OK I though . . .  no need to unclip, I'll just hold onto this traffic bollard thing . . .  hmm, little did I know that they are on a flexible/bendy mounting and over I went  :facepalm:  - my other two daughters knew all about the hilarious incident from the riding daughter before I got home.  [At the next set of lights I just put my hand on the back of a car to remain clipped in  ;D]

T42

  • Patron saint of the dry joint
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3201 on: 23 June, 2022, 10:23:24 am »
This morning I looked on all 4 of the benches in my workshop, under stuff and in boxes, for the new chain I bought a month back.  Finally - brainwave! - found it where I'd put it neatly away in a cupboard.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Basil

  • Um....err......oh bugger!
  • Help me!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3202 on: 23 June, 2022, 02:16:14 pm »
Dog food's here, quoth Mrs B as she came in, and gave me a rather odd look.
I went out of the side door and, OMG what have I done?  Fat fingered doubled up on everything, that's what.
Oh well, that's the dog sorted until Christmas.

Note to self.  Do not order stuffs on your phone.  Use the laptop.
Admission.  I'm actually not that fussed about cake.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3203 on: 25 June, 2022, 05:23:38 pm »
Do I know anyone locally with a set of heavy-duty bolt croppers?

A couple of weeks ago, I managed to lose the key for my Pinhead bike lock while it was locked up. Because of the way I'd locked it, I was able to free the bike by removing the front wheel. So being a div actually saved me a lot of grief on that occasion. But the lock is still left attached to the stand.

Luckily, I have another lock, a standard Abus D-lock.

Guess which idiot managed to lose his key while the bike was locked up this morning? And this time I'd locked it up properly.

In both cases, it's quite possible that I did make a note of the key number at some point, but I've had both locks for a looooong time (>10 years in the case of the Abus one) and I have no idea where I would have kept the record.

There might be a spare key for the Abus somewhere, but again, no idea where...

 :facepalm:
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Feanor

  • It's mostly downhill from here.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3204 on: 27 June, 2022, 09:07:51 am »
Yesterday, I was making baba ghanoush.
This involves charring a couple of aubergines over an open flame on the bbq, and then scooping the soft flesh out of the charred skins.

So I scoop out the flesh, put it in the blender with the liquid ingredients and whiz it up.
Its much to runny. Hmm. The ratio of aubergene to liquid is a bit off.
So I decide to do another aubergene.
I am standing over the bbq, finishing off this additional aubergine when Mrs F. Walks out of the house with a plate containing a whole charred aubergine.

I'd only put one of the two aubergines into the mix, leaving one behind on the plate!  (It was quite messy in the kitchen!)
So now I have an extra aubergine. I just horse them both in and all is well.

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3205 on: 27 June, 2022, 09:11:07 am »
So now I have an extra aubergine. I just horse them both in and all is well.

More baba ghanoush = win

Love that stuff so much.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3206 on: 27 June, 2022, 11:53:12 am »
Absolute favourite.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3207 on: 27 June, 2022, 01:08:58 pm »
Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals

Oh, sorry, wrong Baba

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3208 on: 30 June, 2022, 12:34:52 pm »
HMRC want to check my NI contributions. NP, I'll just dig out my P45 and P60 . . . Oh

Don't have my P45 from previous job. When I left, I thought I'd downloaded copies, but buggered if I can find them.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3209 on: 01 July, 2022, 03:29:42 pm »
Had a lovely ride last night. Only a couple of us but stopped for refreshments at one of our group who couldn't get out

Picked up helmet to put on as we were leaving and was confused when it hit something on my head. Turns out was trying to put my riding buddies helmet which is nearly identical to mine which was already on my head

I'll blame the cycling cap I had under helmet but the cider may have been a contributing factor

HTFB

  • The Monkey and the Plywood Violin
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #3210 on: 01 July, 2022, 03:34:41 pm »
Do I know anyone locally with a set of heavy-duty bolt croppers?
Where is local? I have a pair of bolt croppers after some anonymous scrote dumped them, and a bike, outside our block. The magic of Facebook got the bike back to its owner but I felt the previous possessor of the croppers would be better off without them.