The Grumble Thread - No energy for a full on rant.

[Cudzoziemiec]

Has anyone tried buy a torch recently. I’m not looking for anything fancy, I don’t want a light sabre, I doesn’t need to be waterproof to 10 bar (mores the pity) it doesn’t need to light up half of Suffolk. I just want a rugged torch I can keep in the kitchen draw that will work when it needs to and is powerful enough to reach the end of the garden. (About 50m).

It’s a bloody minefield. There are actually web retailers, multiple, who sell nothing but torches. I’m going for a lie down.

Head torch or hand held? USB rechargeable, AAs or 18650? Capable of multiple colours? Variable beam width? Metal or plastic body? Do you want your initials engraved on it? Metric or Imperial lumens?

(Fenix are good, as others have said.)

You’re not funny Mr Cudz and you’re not helping either 
 

Yeah he completely overlooked Bluetooth... 

And of course the obligatory smartphone app to adjust brightness etc.

My smartphone has a built-in torch. It's actually quite useful but wouldn't illuminate Beardy's garden. Unless I was in Beardy's garden at the time.

Seriously, I'd say you have two basic decisions:
1. head torch or hand held?
2. power source?
   (I have loads of rechargeable AAs hanging around and a recharger; you might have an equally whimsical reason for preferring, say, 18650s)

Then just set a budget and go.

Alternatively, don't you have any bike lights that would serve the same function?

[Paul]

Bloody leaf blowers.

There, I’ve said it.

[rafletcher]

Bloody leaf blowers.

There, I’ve said it.

And bloody garden vacuums too.

[ian]

Our gardeners use a blower. I'm pretty sure it would be faster and less hassle (and far quieter) to simply use a rake and/or brush.

[Cudzoziemiec]

I'm fairly sure they must be on Mr Larrington's list but slow bullets would be wasted on them. Just tie them to a stake in front of a squad of leaf blowers.

[Mr Larrington]

Oi, plumbing!  Bad enough that you have started groaning again even though it ent summer no MOAR but worse is you waiting until I'm halfway down the bloody stairs before starting to ululate, thereby preventing me from jibbling the cold tap to shut you up

[andrewc]

My luvverly Revo Supersignal radio is playing up.   It still works, but the alarm function hasn't been waking me up & when I go to try & reset the times it says "not saved"       I may need to try the "Factory Reset" button.

Has it got some sort of clock backup flattery that might be batt?

Not to my knowledge, it’s a mains powered unit. The factory reset didn’t do much.  It scans OK for DAB stations but doesn’t for FM, manual scanning works (and it’s only used for R3 anyway) but it’s not waking me up!

They used to be made in Scotland but were taken over by a German firm & the support is over there now. Sufficiently expensive to be worth repairing if it could be done, but shipping & possible post Brexit bollocks are a deterrent.

The German owners referred me to the UK support people who say send it to us & we'll see what we can do.  Please include a £24 handling charge in case we need to send the lifeless carcass back to you.  Repair & pats will of course be extra. 


It works perfectly well as a radio, and as I'm working at home I don't really need an alarm clock, but I like being woken by the dulcet tones of Petroc Trelawney without having to grope for the remote to turn it on.   


I suspect a repair will be spendy (if they pay their techs properly) so may have to live with it.  Bah.  Nothing lasts anymore. 

[Mr Larrington]

I've just been phone-spammed by the fucking Jehovah's Witnesses

[Cudzoziemiec]

I've just been phone-spammed by the fucking Jehovah's Witnesses

That is the funniest thing I've heard all day! Sorry Mr Larrington but it really is.

I do hope the call was recorded for training purposes.

[andrewc]

I want to organise a weekend in London for January or early February.  It looks like they are fettling the West Coast Main Line as I can't book a damn ticket.  "Timetable unconfirmed".   

[Mr Larrington]

I've just been phone-spammed by the fucking Jehovah's Witnesses

That is the funniest thing I've heard all day! Sorry Mr Larrington but it really is.

I do hope the call was recorded for training purposes.

Fortunately the rnsering machine took care of it but if she phones again I may get sweary.

[spesh]

I've just been phone-spammed by the fucking Jehovah's Witnesses

That is the funniest thing I've heard all day! Sorry Mr Larrington but it really is.

I do hope the call was recorded for training purposes.

Fortunately the rnsering machine took care of it but if she phones again I may get sweary.

Alternatively, ask them if they have a few minutes to talk about halibut.

[TheLurker]

I've just been phone-spammed by the fucking Jehovah's Witnesses

That is the funniest thing I've heard all day! Sorry Mr Larrington but it really is.

I do hope the call was recorded for training purposes.

Fortunately the rnsering machine took care of it but if she phones again I may get sweary.

I had an enjoyable time the other day calling, "Steve from 'Microsoft'" a fraud, a swindler, liar and a thief and when he told me to, "Mind my language." repeated the accusation with added swearing.  Most satisfying. Won't stop him of course, but it made *me* feel better.

[grams]

I had an enjoyable time the other day calling, "Steve from 'Microsoft'" a fraud, a swindler, liar and a thief and when he told me to, "Mind my language." repeated the accusation with added swearing.  Most satisfying. Won't stop him of course, but it made *me* feel better.

He's not taken it well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WW2JWIv6G8

[hubner]

People who play "games" in supermarket checkout queues.

Two people are shopping together, each with their basket, they split up and join separate queues, then one of them push into the faster moving queue where their friend is.

A person joins a queue and puts down their trolley/basket, then goes off to do more shopping, then expects their trolley/basket to keep their "place" in the queue.

They probably think they're being really clever, don't they realise to everyone else they're just being utter prats??

JUST QUEUE LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE!!

[hatler]

He's not taken it well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WW2JWIv6G8

What an absolute cock.

[Mr Larrington]

Anyone attempting to use a trolley to bagsy a place in the queue round 'ere will get the same treatment as towels on sun loungers got from an Aussie witnessed by the Elder Larringtons somewhere warm, viz. “Look, mate, where I come from it's bums that bag seats, not bloody towels!”

[Tim Hall]

The only game to play in the supermarket is to challenge the checkout operator to guess how much your shopping costs. Closest to the total wins. Tell them if you get it spot on, they pay.

[hellymedic]

Mum trained Kid Brother to tot up approximate trolley costs, as she pushed him around in the seat on top.

They'd then shock the checkout bod by getting it right...

[MattH]

Has anyone tried buy a torch recently. I’m not looking for anything fancy, I don’t want a light sabre, I doesn’t need to be waterproof to 10 bar (mores the pity) it doesn’t need to light up half of Suffolk. I just want a rugged torch I can keep in the kitchen draw that will work when it needs to and is powerful enough to reach the end of the garden. (About 50m).

It’s a bloody minefield. There are actually web retailers, multiple, who sell nothing but torches. I’m going for a lie down.

Head torch or hand held? USB rechargeable, AAs or 18650? Capable of multiple colours? Variable beam width? Metal or plastic body? Do you want your initials engraved on it? Metric or Imperial lumens?

(Fenix are good, as others have said.)

You’re not funny Mr Cudz and you’re not helping either 
 

Yeah he completely overlooked Bluetooth... 

And the ability to flash (geddit?) custom firmware into the torch so that you can change the UI. I was surprised to find that is a thing when looking for a new headtorch recently.

[Kim]

Has anyone tried buy a torch recently. I’m not looking for anything fancy, I don’t want a light sabre, I doesn’t need to be waterproof to 10 bar (mores the pity) it doesn’t need to light up half of Suffolk. I just want a rugged torch I can keep in the kitchen draw that will work when it needs to and is powerful enough to reach the end of the garden. (About 50m).

It’s a bloody minefield. There are actually web retailers, multiple, who sell nothing but torches. I’m going for a lie down.

Head torch or hand held? USB rechargeable, AAs or 18650? Capable of multiple colours? Variable beam width? Metal or plastic body? Do you want your initials engraved on it? Metric or Imperial lumens?

(Fenix are good, as others have said.)

You’re not funny Mr Cudz and you’re not helping either 
 

Yeah he completely overlooked Bluetooth... 

And the ability to flash (geddit?) custom firmware into the torch so that you can change the UI. I was surprised to find that is a thing when looking for a new headtorch recently.

To be fair, the Bluetooth/App gubbins on my head torch has been useful for exactly that reason: It allowed me to configure it to start at the dimmest brightness setting and step upwards, rather than vice-versa (as most torchy things are inexplicably programmed to do).  Having done that, I turned the Bluetooth off and haven't really touched it since.

[nuttycyclist]

Dear dog owner, thank you for picking up the mess and bagging it.

My front garden is NOT a council operated dog poo bin. 

[ian]

Took the day off because we had exciting plans somewhere in the wildest Sussexes (involving mud, beer, and steam trains).

Instead, sitting here waiting for the garage to call because the 'part didn't arrive.' It had better arrive soon.

[Ashaman42]

I'm fairly sure I have not one but two spare sets of cleats somewhere.

Can I find either? No, of course not. The moment I order some though...

[Feanor]

Dear Members of the Public, trade counters are NOT showrooms!

Do your research about what you want *before* rocking up at the counter.
Preferably, from home. Then present yourself at the counter for click-and-collect, take your stuffs and leave.
But if you must, there's a laminated catalog on a desk in the corner. Stand quietly in the corner, make your selections, write the part numbers on the slip provided, then present yourself at the counter.

Pls not to be rocking up with only the vaguest idea of what you think you might want, then spending 30 mins asking for advice, wanting to see each and every thing.
If that's what you need, pls to be going to a showroom staffed with people who's job it is to offer advice and demo the stuffs.