Author Topic: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances  (Read 122074 times)

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #75 on: 05 October, 2012, 08:51:17 pm »
"Oh look Sam, that car's lights have been left on."
"Oh dear! The battewieth will get ferlat and they won't be able to thtart the car."

Sam was three at the time.

LindaG

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #76 on: 24 October, 2012, 11:22:41 pm »
George (two years old) was in the seat of the Shopping Trolley at Tesco when mum noticed he was chewing busily on something.  Worried he'd been nicking frozen peas in the freezer aisle (again) she asked:

Mum: "George, what are you eating?"

George:  "It's only a bogey!"


Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #77 on: 24 October, 2012, 11:46:24 pm »
A few years back when mini-hatler was no more than three, we were having a Saturday at home. It was afternoon and both mini and little miss were having their afternoon kip. Unleashed from child care we set about all those jobs around the house that get neglected when there are little ones around. I'd powered my way through every DIY job there was to do and was left with only one; replacement of the loo seat.

Tool box out, spanners deployed and mini-hatler blearily surfaced and wandered into the bathroom.

"What are you doing Daddy ?" and then "Can I help ?"

He picked a spanner up and went to undo one of the nuts right round at the back.

They were butterfly nuts. He tried the spanner a couple of ways round then stepped back, looking a little confused.

Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."
Rust never sleeps

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #78 on: 25 October, 2012, 10:27:50 am »
Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."

 ;D ;D ;D

jogler

  • mojo operandi
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #79 on: 26 October, 2012, 08:40:13 pm »


Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."

Si_Co said exactly the same thing when he dropped a bag of crisps whilst sitting in the child seat in the back of the car ;D.
He was less than 4 yrs old 'cause he was an only child at the time.
Marj was adamant that he had learned it from me ::-)

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #80 on: 31 October, 2012, 01:43:51 pm »
Opening a packet of Sainsbury's "choco rice pops" Little Cudzo commented "It smells like Georgie's hutch." Georgie is the guinea pig. He was right and what's more, they look like her droppings. He says they taste nice and chocolatey - the rice pops, not the guinea pig droppings.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #81 on: 04 November, 2012, 06:56:58 pm »
Then, with absolutely perfect intonation indicating both frustration, and resignation, "Fuck it."

 ;D ;D ;D

Apparently I thought "sod it" was a term of affection as a child.

a lower gear

  • Carmarthenshire - "Not ALWAYS raining!"
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #82 on: 04 November, 2012, 07:30:57 pm »
I had to clean up my act when I began hearing the smallest gear, then age about 3 and fortunately difficult for strangers to understand, muttering 'ukinell' whenever things went wrong - which they do frequently when you're that age.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #83 on: 05 November, 2012, 02:25:47 pm »
"Kim, what's your favourite chemical?  Mine's KNO3.  Do you know what that is?" - CrinklyCub

(I hope GCHQ aren't reading)

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #84 on: 07 November, 2012, 11:29:40 am »
My dad had the cheek to tell me off when I described a teacher as ‘a total tosser’ when I was about five or six. It was only because he used the word so frequently I’d assumed it was ok. Also, I thought it was something to do with pancakes.

Kim

  • Timelord
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Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #85 on: 07 November, 2012, 01:31:43 pm »
My dad had the cheek to tell me off when I described a teacher as ‘a total tosser’ when I was about five or six. It was only because he used the word so frequently I’d assumed it was ok. Also, I thought it was something to do with pancakes.

See, I'd rate its okayness based on whether or not the teacher was in fact a tosser.  This is one of the many reasons why I shouldn't be allowed to be a parent.

Mmm, pancakes.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #86 on: 07 November, 2012, 01:43:06 pm »
My dad had the cheek to tell me off when I described a teacher as ‘a total tosser’ when I was about five or six. It was only because he used the word so frequently I’d assumed it was ok. Also, I thought it was something to do with pancakes.

See, I'd rate its okayness based on whether or not the teacher was in fact a tosser.  This is one of the many reasons why I shouldn't be allowed to be a parent.
"Your teacher may or may not be a tosser. But the fact remains that they are the teacher you have and you still need to learn from them. So concentrate on the learning and try to put aside the fact that they may be a tosser. Tell us if there are any particular issues."

Near verbatim from a conversation with one of the children.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

clarion

  • Tyke
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #87 on: 07 November, 2012, 02:17:50 pm »
You been listening in on my parental advice? ;D
Getting there...

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #88 on: 07 November, 2012, 11:34:21 pm »
"Your teacher may or may not be a tosser. But the fact remains that they are the teacher you have and you still need to learn from them. So concentrate on the learning and try to put aside the fact that they may be a tosser. Tell us if there are any particular issues."

Near verbatim from a conversation with one of the children.

I like this. Good parenting lessons here  :)

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #89 on: 09 November, 2012, 10:43:07 pm »
An amusing grandparental conference (all four of us) with Martha this afternoon, followed by dinner at Pizza Express.

Martha's vocabulary is coming on in leaps and bounds. She has, this week, used the following words correctly in context:

civilised
splendid

I was working on getting her to use "coruscating", "cosmopolitan" and "spiffing".

Also, her tastes in foodstuffs are very refined. We went to Pizza Express for our meal (Martha is quite a regular there, it appears) and she is especially keen on the green olives still with their stones in (her mother cuts slices off to ensure that she doesn't inhale the stones).

We haven't got her to select the wine yet. However, her mum was telling me of an incident in the past week in which she was sitting on the sofa with one hand on her knee and her elbow sticking out rather. Martha appeared, grasped her mum's elbow and pulled her forearm down, pushed it up, pulled it down etc. When asked what she was doing, she replied "Pouring beer." On the strength of this, I mimed the pouring of a pint using the PE pepperpot and my empty banoffee glory glass and she got it in one.

Martha will be 2½ on 27th December.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #90 on: 10 November, 2012, 10:47:23 pm »
Little Cudzo was very keen on olives at that age. Still is, in fact. My mum said he had "sophisticated taste" but I think small children tend to have an open palate, devoid of taste prejudices, and will like all sorts of things if introduced to them. I'm pretty sure olives are far more common in northern Europe now than they were when my mum was that age, or even when I was, so it makes sense that toddlers nowadays eat things as a matter of course which are considered "sophisticated" to older generations. Toddlers in general are quite interesting, fun  and enlightening to spend time with.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #91 on: 22 November, 2012, 11:26:04 am »
2 year old, on seeing my netbook open on the table , points and says "I want to see bicycles"!
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

tiermat

  • According to Jane, I'm a Unisex SpaceAdmin
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #92 on: 22 November, 2012, 12:32:22 pm »
2 year old, on seeing my netbook open on the table , points and says "I want to see bicycles"!

Your work is done there ;D
I feel like Captain Kirk, on a brand new planet every day, a little like King Kong on top of the Empire State

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #93 on: 22 November, 2012, 07:59:57 pm »
the next lesson is red ones go faster :thumbsup:
the slower you go the more you see

CrinklyLion

  • The one with devious, cake-pushing ways....
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #94 on: 22 November, 2012, 08:04:12 pm »
The EldestCub gave that one careful consideration - especially when one of the fast northern boys pointed out that he doesn't believe it, since his yellow Eddy Merckx was definitely faster than his red bike. 

And decided that, in the interests of Science and in the name of fair testing, a red Eddy Merckx would also be required  :D

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #95 on: 23 November, 2012, 08:53:45 pm »
 :thumbsup:
the slower you go the more you see

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #96 on: 06 December, 2012, 08:30:10 pm »
"David Cameron is a bum who doesn't know where he's going."
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #97 on: 06 December, 2012, 10:29:31 pm »
On hearing a noise in the kitchen:

Me: 'P, what are you doing?'

P (aged 8 ): 'I'm tessellating the cups in the dishwasher.'

 ;D
Quote from: Kim
^ This woman knows what she's talking about.

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #98 on: 06 December, 2012, 10:34:34 pm »
P (aged 8): 'I'm tessellating the cups in the dishwasher.'

To be fair, tessellate is one of those words that you only know when introduced to it by primary-age children.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Perfectly Sensible Child Utterances
« Reply #99 on: 21 December, 2012, 06:50:28 pm »
Nativity play 'fail'

Joseph:  My Mary needs a room; we're tired and her baby is coming.
Innkeeper of alternative background:  Come in! Would you like a drink? Food?

Half-remembered anecdote.