Author Topic: Random advert nonsense phrases  (Read 4362 times)

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #50 on: 05 March, 2022, 11:36:55 am »
I'm with the Lurk on this one, I'm about to put a deposit on something that is not yet available, that is not a pre-order, it's an actual order.

“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #51 on: 05 March, 2022, 12:03:07 pm »
No.

"I am placing an order. I don't care whether or not you have it in stock..."

If the reason the item is not in stock is because it has yet to be manufactured it does not alter the fact that I have placed an order. If you want to distinguish between the two cases (why? it's immaterial to me why the item cannot be supplied immediately - I will be notified and the item supplied when it is) then we have the perfectly good word, "reserve" which used to be used. As in, "reserve a copy".  Pre-order is a vile little wart that we do not need.

"For which I have gnashingly irrational hatred, to which I will now have to stick, in the face of explanation from those who are prepared to be measured and reasonable in their explanation" does not necessarily equal "that we do not need".

It quickly tells us something about the situation which could otherwise be described in a more long winded way, so it has purpose. Most people in the real world (you included, I imagine) do care about the availability of items being ordered. It's the opposite of immaterial, really: knowing when/if you can have the thing you're currently buying.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #52 on: 05 March, 2022, 12:07:09 pm »
Pre-order and back-order make perfect sense to regular humans who aren't infected by the dread virus of pedantry. You pre-order something that has yet to become available, back-order something that's is going to be restocked.
Pre order seems to have gained prominence since we started buying All The Things using that Internet they have these days.

Ii my day job I sell things. This involves me my customer placing an order with me. They understand* that we can't magic the goods up out of thin air and there is an amount of time required for manufacture. They don't say they are going to pre order, they order.

*shout out to those customers who don't understand that poor planning on their part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine.


Anyway, drifting away from the delights of pre ordering, I give you shop. As in Shop our range of crap. No. Just no. Shop for. Or even buy.

<old man goes back to yelling at clouds>
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #53 on: 05 March, 2022, 12:49:26 pm »
I have yet to encounter this use of the word “Shop” in the wild and hope fervently never to do so.  At least while the Reëducation Camps remain unbuilt.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #54 on: 05 March, 2022, 12:55:42 pm »
Didn't it used to be called "advance ordering"?

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #55 on: 05 March, 2022, 01:43:32 pm »
Sorry, Lurker & ED, I have to agree with ian, mrcharly and SttV on this one.

"Pre-order" may be as grammatically suspect as "advance warning" but the phrase does serve a useful purpose and has distinct meaning.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #56 on: 05 March, 2022, 04:39:36 pm »
I have yet to encounter this use of the word “Shop” in the wild and hope fervently never to do so.  At least while the Reëducation Camps remain unbuilt.
As it's a Saturday afternoon, I was perusing the internet for information about the radio 4 longwave transmitter. Dutifully my phone popped up a page saying "shop radio 4 longwave transmitter". How il postino would get it through the letter box is another matter.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #57 on: 05 March, 2022, 05:36:34 pm »
Bigly OED clearly has shop as a transitive verb, so ner.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #58 on: 05 March, 2022, 05:51:13 pm »
Bigly OED clearly has shop as a transitive verb, so ner.
Well they can FRO. Acceptable use of shop as a transitive verb is "I shopped Big Ron to the rozzers, the slag."
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #59 on: 05 March, 2022, 05:56:40 pm »
Bigly OED clearly has shop as a transitive verb, so ner.
Well they can FRO. Acceptable use of shop as a transitive verb is "I shopped Big Ron to the rozzers, the slag."

My thoughts exactly.

ian

  • why would any decent person have such thoughts?
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #60 on: 05 March, 2022, 06:07:27 pm »
It has that too, but it also has shop the collection.
Authoritarian Thought Leader, the Pol Pot of Powerpoint, the Stalin of Spreadsheets, the Putin of pandas

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #61 on: 05 March, 2022, 07:32:58 pm »
Bigly OED clearly has shop as a transitive verb, so ner.
Well they can FRO. Acceptable use of shop as a transitive verb is "I shopped Big Ron to the rozzers, the slag."

My thoughts exactly.

AOL.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #62 on: 06 March, 2022, 09:20:35 pm »
“It could be as close as 13 minutes drive away.”
I suppose it might be true, but that’s a weirdly specific way of describing an out of town industrial estate.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #63 on: 07 March, 2022, 12:13:05 am »
"The ultimate..." (applied to toothpaste or whatever).

If it's the ultimate, no better product is possible. So you've fired your entire R&D staff and closed down that department, then?

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #64 on: 07 March, 2022, 12:22:57 am »
There's always the possibility of throwing some more adjectives in there,  'Super Ultimate Plus' sort of thing, for added nonsense.

Which brings me to the marketing staple of using exciting adjectives to specify the performance of some technology which will inevitably be superseded in a few years, with resulting terminology inflation.  Broadband is a chief offender (what does 'ultrafast' even mean?), but USB (where 'full speed' is slower than 'high speed') and electric vehicle chargers (where 'fast' was used too early in the game, and in practical terms now means 'slow') also come to mind.  Just give us a number, so we can see that the bigger ones are better!

When the revolution comes, the perpetrators will be up against the wall.  In numerical order.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #65 on: 07 March, 2022, 12:31:43 am »
Any superlative added to ultimate must surely produce an oxymoron?

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #66 on: 07 March, 2022, 12:48:51 am »
Any superlative added to ultimate must surely produce an oxymoron?

Of course, but this is advertising!

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #67 on: 07 March, 2022, 06:11:47 am »
“It could be as close as 13 minutes drive away.”
I suppose it might be true, but that’s a weirdly specific way of describing an out of town industrial estate.

So could be further than 13 minutes away, or even, could be any distance away at all because we have no fucking idea where people watching this advert actually live?
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #68 on: 07 March, 2022, 08:08:56 am »
“It could be as close as 13 minutes drive away.”
I suppose it might be true, but that’s a weirdly specific way of describing an out of town industrial estate.

So could be further than 13 minutes away, or even, could be any distance away at all because we have no fucking idea where people watching this advert actually live?
Indeed. I hear it as “the nearest habitation is 13 minutes away”. If I find I’m only 12 minutes away I’ll be on the phone to advertising standards ultra fast.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #69 on: 07 March, 2022, 08:13:08 am »
My most loathed word is now 'hacks'.

Makes me want to hack something (or somebody), with an axe.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

nicknack

  • Hornblower
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #70 on: 07 March, 2022, 09:43:03 am »
There's always the possibility of throwing some more adjectives in there,  'Super Ultimate Plus' sort of thing, for added nonsense.

Which brings me to the marketing staple of using exciting adjectives to specify the performance of some technology which will inevitably be superseded in a few years, with resulting terminology inflation.  Broadband is a chief offender (what does 'ultrafast' even mean?), but USB (where 'full speed' is slower than 'high speed') and electric vehicle chargers (where 'fast' was used too early in the game, and in practical terms now means 'slow') also come to mind.  Just give us a number, so we can see that the bigger ones are better!

When the revolution comes, the perpetrators will be up against the wall.  In numerical order.
Not advertising, but that reminds me of "modern" jazz. It means jazz from the 1950s.
There's no vibrations, but wait.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #71 on: 07 March, 2022, 09:55:50 am »
As with vehicles - 'modern classic' for something that was grey porridge when it was made and hasn't improved with time.
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

Giraffe

  • I brake for Giraffes
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #72 on: 07 March, 2022, 09:57:59 am »
“It could be as close as 13 minutes drive away.”
I suppose it might be true, but that’s a weirdly specific way of describing an out of town industrial estate.
On the side of a van: "ETA 1 hour". 01:00h? 1 pm? How about using ETTA ffs!
2x4: thick plank; 4x4: 2 of 'em.

Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #73 on: 07 March, 2022, 12:12:16 pm »
Have we had new and improved yet?

Kim

  • Timelord
Re: Random advert nonsense phrases
« Reply #74 on: 07 March, 2022, 12:46:07 pm »
Have we had new and improved yet?

I learned as a child that 'improved' inevitably meant I wasn't going to want to eat it any more.


(Recent example: Fairy liquid.  They've 'improved' the scent, presumably for the benefit of COVID-19 sufferers.  Completely coincidentally, they've launched a new - more expensive - version without any dyes or perfumes, which I'm now doomed to buying.  Bastards.)