The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread

[T42]

When we got back from shopping yesterday I went from car to house to car several times, carrying a 9-litre pack of bottled water in each hand.  Our cellar is above-ground so there's a full flight of steps up to the front door. It was pissing down so I did it at a run.

Guess how I buggered an ACL back in March. Now guess what bloody idiot had completely forgotten that and did it again.

Weather's dry this morning. Can't ride. 

[T42]

It's raining now.

[citoyen]

Now guess what bloody idiot had completely forgotten that and did it again.

Ouch! GWS.

[robgul]

Today, on arrival at work, I couldn't gain entry to the office I was supposed to be using. I went to the main hub and complained to the boss that I had had access, but could now not get in. I twiddled my thumbs for an hour, then got taken to the office by a colleague only to find my card worked. It then dawned on me that there is a very similar office about 50 yards further down the road (to which I don't have access) and that I'd been trying to get in there!

You'd better remember that I've moved house when you come here this evening 

[Socks]

It's a good idea to use a small box to keep all the parts together when dismantling a headset to change the forks.  On the other hand ...

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It is not such a good idea to forget where you put the piggin box when you need to re-assemble the headset

[Beardy]

This could so easily be filed under grumble, rant or even first world problem, but the outcome is largely self inflicted, so here it is.
I’ve just been to collect an order from Screwfix in on returning home I realised that the largest of the items, and coincidentally the most expensive item, is not included in the bag of goodies. Had I realised this when the nice operative behind the counter handed me said pile of goodies I would have saved myself a return journey, and more importantly, the ire* of Dr Beardy (Mrs) who is convinced I do this sort of thing on purpose to avoid getting on with the job!

Given that I’m still in the doghouse for a bit of a contretemps yesterday evening, this is not an insignificant issue.

[T42]

Now guess what bloody idiot had completely forgotten that and did it again.

Ouch! GWS.

Ta. I don't think it'll last too long.

[quixoticgeek]

It would appear some mornings I am very much like a Roomba[1]

Monday I managed to stub my toe on a piece of wood some idiot (i.e. me), left in the doorway.

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It's got even more purple since then. Tho I don't think it's broken.

J

[1]crashing into things and making weird noises.

[perpetual dan]

Ouch. I've done that a few times, most recently on a bed that had hidden itself on the floor.

[citoyen]

It would appear some mornings I am very much like a Roomba[1]

[1]crashing into things and making weird noises.

You are me AICMFP

My toes are in a constant state of tenderness from bashing into stuff, so you have my heartfelt sympathy.

[Beardy]

Slippers, people. Slippers. Ok, the do make you look a bit like an old person if you’re not careful in their selection, but they save you form innumerable bashed toes.

[andytheflyer]

In my early career I worked for a Dutch marine services company, doing sea bed surveys etc.  The Dutch would never go into the interior of their workboats in their deck boots, so there were lines of things like these at the door to go inside.  Some were even wooden! Woe betide you if you failed to comply.

So, I've worn these around the house for years.  Don't look like slippers but do the same job.  And you don't bash your toes.  I was wearing them years before they appeared in the UK.

https://josefseibel.co.uk/products/copy-of-josef-seibel-max

[Mr Larrington]

'ow much, G-g-g-g-g-ranville

[andytheflyer]

Yebbutt I get 2 or 3 years out of a pair, then the old pair become garage or garden attire, until the next new pair arrives.  Then one in , one out.

[nuttycyclist]

Manic day planned, so laptop plugged in in kitchen, kettle on for coffee, rush to garage to grab bits off shelf I'd need.

Three emails later, and "what's that smell?"



I had plugged in the waffle maker, under the pile of children's paintings, and not the laptop.

[Wowbagger]

I recently bought an Apeman camera, which is a downmarket Go-pro. It takes a 64Gb micro-SD but it has an annoying slot for the SD card, which is spring-loaded and needs to be pushed home with the edge of a thumbnail. I thought to myself "This is a really annoying design because if your nail slips off when the spring is under tension, it could become an expensive pingfucket..."

Tomorrow morning I have to search through boxes full of archaeology to look for it.

[andrewc]

Doing the washing up & drying some knives.   Carefully drying the big chefs knife & put it back in it's cardboard & duct tape sheath.  Could do myself an injury with that.   


Then I dried the bread knife ......   Fuckit!  Very sharp ,  didn't feel a thing.  Just through the top layer of skin & no bleeding.....


https://www.souschef.co.uk/products/opinel-beech-handle-bread-knife

[rafletcher]

Looking through recordings on the digibox I noticed it had recorded the British GP first practice. I never watch that, so deleted it. Along with all the previous GP race highlights.

[T42]

Got a new bottle with a so-called "Easy Bite" soft-plastic nozzle on it.  With my other bottles the teat is hardish plastic, which means that you don't have to bite hard on it to open it, you more or less hook it with your teeth. First drink with the new bottle: the teat pulled up OK then popped out of my mouth, I was already squeezing so I blasted water all over my face.

[Mr Larrington]

“Mustn't forget to drop off the repeat prescription at the pharmacy lurking within Mr Sainsbury’s House of Toothy Comestibles!” said Mr Larrington as he strolled merrily through said horriblemarket.  “The prescription that is in my wallet, which in turn is in my pock… on the kitchen table!”

Poobums!

[citoyen]

When your colleague opens an already-scheduled email to make just one waffer-thin amendment, do make sure you pause the sending and check the whole thing carefully again before it goes out to the database of 15,000 subscribers.

You know, so that... ooh, let's say, to pick a random example off the top of my head, to check that the stupid, glitchy email building app you use hasn't decided of its own accord to revert to an old version of the email that contains incorrect links.

[Peter]

will do.....

[ian]

Trying to close the patio door to my office earlier because it was a power-tool o'clock* somewhere nearby and I was on a call. Bloody thing would not shut. Finally looked down and saw a cat in the gap. Sorry, Bad Cat.

Fortunately, it's stiff and I was pulling it at an odd angle, so she's not crushed, just mildly perturbed by why the door attempted to eat her.

*honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.

[Kim]

honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.

*Laughs in Silly Oak*

<fx: Something hydraulic and diesely out of view to the left.  Car alarms.  Woofing.>

[quixoticgeek]

honestly, the world is so fucking noisy. Someone is always fucking about with something, or there are barky dogs, and now a periodic alarm that goes off for a minute then stops for two. Just an afternoon of silence, is it too much to ask? Yes.

*Laughs in Silly Oak*

<fx: Something hydraulic and diesely out of view to the left.  Car alarms.  Woofing.>

*laughs in next to a railway line and under a flight path*

J