Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread (Read 442459 times)

Jurek · « **Reply #3025 on:** 18 February, 2022, 03:55:52 pm »

Quote from: Ham on 18 February, 2022, 02:59:50 pm

Why did it took until I was interviewing a people (virtually, obv) and switched on my camera to realise that I had my shirt on inside out?

That's very Joanna Lumley.

ElyDave · « **Reply #3026 on:** 19 February, 2022, 06:05:13 am »

I had an internal interview during a week I was on holiday, but at home. Wandering about in the house sans t-shaped shirt generally, but for some reason I decided that I would wear one that day. luckily it turned out as my webcam came on automagically as I started the call, finding a panel of 4 at the other end

ElyDave · « **Reply #3027 on:** 19 February, 2022, 08:36:05 am »

Unpacking this morning's delivery of toothy comestibles, I dropped a heavy, hard thing on yhe end of my second toe, which is now going purple and throbbing in a very cartoonish manner

rafletcher · « **Reply #3028 on:** 26 February, 2022, 12:52:39 pm »

Today Igot my chainsaw out in earnest for the first time in a couple of years. Couldn’t get the damn thing started. That’ll be because I’d put the choke in using the kill switch

TheLurker · « **Reply #3029 on:** 26 February, 2022, 03:59:41 pm »

Logging in here, 2 minutes ago. Entered the first 2 characters of the password and was surprised when the computer couldn't read my mind for the rest of it.

The Family Cyclist · « **Reply #3030 on:** 26 February, 2022, 04:38:58 pm »

T'other day at work looked at my watch and on stopwatch showing 0000. Scroll back to time and 1200 and about 15 seconds. Bugger thinks me I've whacked it hard enough to reset. Goes back to computer to check the time and......its about a minute past midday. I hadn't wacked it, it was just 1200 and some seconds

chrisbainbridge · « **Reply #3031 on:** 28 February, 2022, 01:11:27 pm »

I bought one of those adhesive camera signs to attach to my pannier. I spent a while making sure it was in the right place and that it would not block the catches.

Yes, I put it on the wrong end! Totally invisible to all following traffic but glad to say it still seems to work as I had no close passes!

mrcharly-YHT · « **Reply #3032 on:** 02 March, 2022, 01:26:05 pm »

Rushing to put new cables on bike. Struggling to cut the outers with my (small plier's size) snips, I decide to use angle grinder.

Cuts well - but a few seconds after the cut, the plastic outer melts, ends go spoing.

Fortunately, I've been generous with measurements, so I can cut off bad bit. Get aggressive with snips and do perfect clean cuts. Div.

Fit front. Fine

Go to fit rear.

The new innner is too short by about 15cm. For a bit I wonder if I was the world's greatest div, and I've fitted rear cable on front. Check pack, instructions. Nope. Both the same. Just wrong effing size for my perfectly normal road bike.

A bit of fighting and I put new outer on old cable. Not very free running, because the old inners are bigger than jagwire.

FFS YOU IDIOT WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST BY THE SHIMANO REPLACEMENTS?

Mrs Pingu · « **Reply #3033 on:** 04 March, 2022, 11:20:35 am »

When you're making an orange and poppy seed cake it helps if you put the poppy seeds in.

hatler · « **Reply #3034 on:** 04 March, 2022, 11:34:01 am »

In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

TimC · « **Reply #3035 on:** 04 March, 2022, 12:10:31 pm »

Quote from: hatler on 04 March, 2022, 11:34:01 am

In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

It really doesn't!

rafletcher · « **Reply #3036 on:** 04 March, 2022, 12:21:03 pm »

Quote from: TimC on 04 March, 2022, 12:10:31 pm

Quote from: hatler on 04 March, 2022, 11:34:01 am
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

It really doesn't!

You could use kippers instead - much cheaper and just as tasty!

T42 · « **Reply #3037 on:** 07 March, 2022, 01:41:47 pm »

Put the air fryer's outer basket in the left sink of our double, swivelled the tap over it then reached in with my left hand and ran the water, completely oblivious of the fact that this had brought my arm directly under the spout. Sweater's still soggy.

quixoticgeek · « **Reply #3038 on:** 09 March, 2022, 09:33:23 pm »

Been trying to find a small solar panel I got for a project. Have been looking on and off for a couple of weeks.

Today I found it.

In a plant pot.

I've no fucking clue...

J

The Family Cyclist · « **Reply #3039 on:** 10 March, 2022, 08:44:08 am »

Quote from: hatler on 04 March, 2022, 11:34:01 am

In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

Or roast aubergine and shallots instead of the haddock, it's a river cottage vegereee recipe and bloody delicious

hatler · « **Reply #3040 on:** 10 March, 2022, 09:10:04 am »

Quote from: The Family Cyclist on 10 March, 2022, 08:44:08 am

Quote from: hatler on 04 March, 2022, 11:34:01 am
In that vein, when making kedgeree it helps if you put the haddock in.

Or roast aubergine and shallots instead of the haddock, it's a river cottage vegereee recipe and bloody delicious

Oooooo. Yum.

ElyDave · « **Reply #3041 on:** 10 March, 2022, 08:33:06 pm »

Not really kedgeree in that case is it? More a case of rice with stuff in it?

citoyen · « **Reply #3042 on:** 11 March, 2022, 01:24:02 pm »

You know that thing where the milk is on the turn and curdles as soon as you add it to your coffee? Unfortunately, I didn't notice it this morning until after I'd taken a mouthful...

Cheese-flavoured coffee. Yum.

T42 · « **Reply #3043 on:** 11 March, 2022, 01:47:23 pm »

Quote from: ElyDave on 10 March, 2022, 08:33:06 pm

Not really kedgeree in that case is it? More a case of rice with stuff in it?

It will be if you chuck in an anchor.

The Family Cyclist · « **Reply #3044 on:** 11 March, 2022, 02:34:35 pm »

Quote from: ElyDave on 10 March, 2022, 08:33:06 pm

Not really kedgeree in that case is it? More a case of rice with stuff in it?

Maybe not true kedgeree but its more then just rice with stuff in as the veg is roasted in the curry powder. It's bloody delicious and will be emailing the recipe to hatler and happy to do the same if you want

ElyDave · « **Reply #3045 on:** 11 March, 2022, 06:59:28 pm »

please do, i have no issue with veggie food, quite like it a lot of the time and have definitely cut back on meat in the last few years.

Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't

citoyen · « **Reply #3046 on:** 11 March, 2022, 07:26:13 pm »

Quote from: ElyDave on 11 March, 2022, 06:59:28 pm

Just please, please do not call things like this https://www.quorn.co.uk/products/bacon-style-slices "vegetarian bacon" it's either bacon or it isn't

Have you ever tried jackfruit? Vegans may imagine it tastes just the same as meat. It doesn't.

There are plenty of nicer (and cheaper) ingredients you can use to stand in for meat that aren't pretending to be meat and are all the better for it.

Socks · « **Reply #3047 on:** 11 March, 2022, 07:41:10 pm »

Slightly off topic. We occasionally look after a charming little dog who is a cross between a Jack Russell and a Shitsue. So a Jackshit (as opposed to a jackfruit). Thoroughly recommended. Although I can't speak for jackfruit, which I've never tried.

ian · « **Reply #3048 on:** 11 March, 2022, 08:38:08 pm »

Vacon? I'm sure we've done the story of Quorn, but it's a good one.

Jackfruit is, well, jackfruit. It's quite common as, well, jackfruit in Indonesia and thereabouts (as curries, but also candied in dessert, and in those weird drink-desserts of Indonesia). It's fine as, well, jackfruit. It's not chicken.

Anyway is vacon any good? I don't eat pig, but I do like a fry up.

ElyDave · « **Reply #3049 on:** 11 March, 2022, 08:50:01 pm »

I like jackfruit, but sell it to me as good vegetarian food, not fake meat, same with tempeh, great stuff, but its not chicken