Epic tantrums

[ChrisO]

Our six year old daughter is developing her skills for later life. I can see why they say girls are far more manipulative than boys.

Her latest tactic when crossed is to flee to her room and fling herself onto her bed, sobbing inconsolably and to continue this for as long as it takes until someone comes to try to cajole her back into society once more.

What's most impressive is her dedication to the role.

When possible of course we ignore her and let her get on with it rather than reward the tantrum but this results in a prolonged battle of wills.

Today at lunch I mildly rebuked her for spilling a full glass of juice by not looking where she was putting it.

That resulted in an hour and twenty minutes of utter dejection, with us sitting downstairs trying to ignore it. Thank heavens she hasn't cottoned onto the fact that it is much easier to ignore when she takes herself to her room.

Eventually she issued a series of ultimatums. The first on her Princess notepad and delivered sullenly by an arm through a doorway read:

"To mummy and daddy if you downt cum into theis room I wil stay in theis room thorerthe (forever)".

As she calmed down a little I did go to see her and suggest she might like to join us, however it appears that I was not suitably apologetic for this resulted in more sobbing and a further note, this time written on a sheet of loo roll (I suppose she couldn't demand her notepad back) and delivered in person by someone trying very hard to stay sad.

"To daddy bcaus you didnt mack my happy I will stay in theis room thorerthe."

I totally ignored that one and about 10 minutes later got a half-smiling Lillian note, again on loo roll:

"OK I wil cum downstairs love from Lillian"

And of course then it was like nothing had ever happened.

Men of earth, you have been warned.

[annie]

 

I have a boy that has done exactly the same.  The notes however are much more theatrical and deserving of an award.  If I can remember I will go upstairs and grab a few.  Be warned.

[alan]

BTDTGTTS...twice.

Here's something for the parents to look forward to.
One day you will be able to say to your kids,as they admonish you for spoiling their children...
My grandchildren are my reward for not killing my kids

It drives my daughter looppy

[annie]

I can't find the notes that I was looking for but have found some others that may have caused a tantrum following my response.

"The Fantastic 4 playstation game - I know you think it's violent but I really like it and I watch it on TV and I would really like to have it instead of He-Man.  PLEASE, PLEASE get it for me, I will pay for half the money.  You'll either get it from Tesco or Comet or Debenhams.  And a Secret 7 and a Famous Five book from Waterstones.  And on the 4th week on Saturday can I go with you to get the present.  And I am not trying to blackmail you.  You can get it from Asda on the right shelf in the video and DVD section and it costs 10.99."

[tonycollinet]

If you are committed in ignoring it, it will die out very quickly - not having the desired effect. Better still to appear amused by the whole display.

[annie]

Yet another.

"Please mum may I have a PS2 game.  I will give up my pocket money for a month.  The game is called Lego Star Wars, it is 3+ and you get 5 pounds off the 12+ games are too hard so with all the kindness in your heart please please please may I have the game.  I am praying.  I will buy you some clothes or flowers.  From your son."  

This was written in 2005.

[Wowbagger]

How many children do you have, ChrisO?

My experience is that outrageous behaviour by one results in so much stick from the others that they develop a mutual self-discipline.

[clarion]

Yeah - boys are just as bad!

[bomber]

Yet another.

"Please mum may I have a PS2 game.  I will give up my pocket money for a month.  The game is called Lego Star Wars, it is 3+ and you get 5 pounds off the 12+ games are too hard so with all the kindness in your heart please please please may I have the game.  I am praying.  I will buy you some clothes or flowers.  From your son."  

This was written in 2005.

To be fair its a bloody fun game

[rae]

Just ignore it.  Tell them you are going to ignore this sort of silliness, and let them get on with it.  Go and fix something in the garage (or whatever you like doing).  Appreciate the silence, bask in the peace and quiet, after about 3 hours they'll come out of their room....

[perpetual dan]

It seems we're getting off lightly 

Once Miss Dan the elder (aged 5) tried to storm out of the room, slamming the door on the way. The door bounced quietly off something in the way. She looked at it for a moment and then shouted "BANG" ... and stomped off. We failed to contain our laughter very well and it was all over soon enough.

[ChrisO]

It seems we're getting off lightly 

Once Miss Dan the elder (aged 5) tried to storm out of the room, slamming the door on the way. The door bounced quietly off something in the way. She looked at it for a moment and then shouted "BANG" ... and stomped off. We failed to contain our laughter very well and it was all over soon enough.

LOL

Yes we do try to ignore it. Lillian is the youngest of three and the boys are now 12 (in a couple of weeks) and 9.

The middle one is fine. He specialises in passive resistance and can be very stubborn on the few things where he actually decides to dig his heels in - I think somewhere there must be mules who describe their children as Gabrielish.

The real problem is the oldest, who has Aspergers and Tourettes. Believe me we view Lillian's writing of stern notes with wry amusement compared to being told we are c***cksucking w**kers. I couldn't count the  times I've left the house riding to work having been told that he hopes I will be hit by a bus and the house shows various marks of things being thrown, slammed, kicked etc usually over something like telling him to put his socks on.

L is actually the most sensible of all of them and usually sees that it is not the way to get what she wants. She even tells the boys sometimes though we don't encourage it because if she tells D he is being stupid he is quite capable of punching her in the face. He would be enormously and genuinely sorry afterwards but it's too late then.

[onb]

I recall leaving my daughter then aged around 3  prostrate in an aisle in Asda ,the who is going to crack first game either by us turning round to retrieve the litte darling or the OMG they are really going to leave me followed by a tearfull Flojo sprint down the supermarket to us was far more nerve wracking than the you dont think youre going to shag my daughter do you death stare I had to give a a few years later.

[Butterfly]

One of my sister's friends has been known to lie down next to the screaming child and join in. Said child looked embarrassed, stood up and sidled away .

[Jacomus]

I recall leaving my daughter then aged around 3  prostrate in an aisle in Asda ,the who is going to crack first game either by us turning round to retrieve the litte darling or the OMG they are really going to leave me followed by a tearfull Flojo sprint down the supermarket to us was far more nerve wracking than the you dont think youre going to shag my daughter do you death stare I had to give a a few years later.

Hehe, I remember getting that look from an ex's dad. About an hour later Little Miss Hottie was a couple of grams heavier

[pcolbeck]

My sister had truly epic tantrums as a child and my mother was not one for pandering to small children. She could get so angry so quickly that she couldn't breath and would pass out sometimes. She ended up having tests to see if she was having seizures but in the end they just conclude that she had a really terrible temper. She still is pretty volatile but grew out of the screaming ab dabs by the time she was five or six.

[PhilO]

One of my sister's friends has been known to lie down next to the screaming child and join in. Said child looked embarrassed, stood up and sidled away .

Wasn't there a tv advert for something that used that very scenario? Can't remember what it was advertising, so the ad.men obviously failed! 

No.1 Son is now 9 months old... You lot really know how to cheer a bloke up, don't you! 

[clarion]

One of my sister's friends has been known to lie down next to the screaming child and join in. Said child looked embarrassed, stood up and sidled away .

Oh.  I've done that.

Not very recently

But it ended in said child in fits of giggles trying to maintain the 'serious' business of tantrum.

[clarion]

And, tbf, I've found that some adults can out-tantrum any kids

[Cudzoziemiec]

One of my cousins used to stick peanuts up her nose. She once had to go to A&E to have them removed.

[Regulator]

And, tbf, I've found that some adults can out-tantrum any kids

I can think of one or two forumites who'd give the average two year old a run for their money on the tantrum front... 

[alexb]

The standard letter I used to get from my daughter (bless) usually went something like (spelling is as written (roughly)
"I hat you, I hope you die, I'm going to kill you with a knife or a gun"
Usually accompanied by stick men pictures of her with a big smile, me with a sad face and lots of blood.

Usually followed an hour or so later by something along the lines of "I love you dayddy. You are the best daddy in the worl. I love you I love you."

I'm going to get some of the better ones made into T-shirts one day.

[Regulator]

The standard letter I used to get from my daughter (bless) usually went something like (spelling is as written (roughly)
"I hat you, I hope you die, I'm going to kill you with a knife or a gun"
Usually accompanied by stick men pictures of her with a big smile, me with a sad face and lots of blood.

Usually followed an hour or so later by something along the lines of "I love you dayddy. You are the best daddy in the worl. I love you I love you."

I'm going to get some of the better ones made into T-shirts one day.

An ideal gift to hand out to the wedding guests....