| Bethany [8]: | o hai team tiem trail 2da rite @ least its a skool da txt me if nefink hapens,,,,,,,,,,,,, xXx bethany |
| G Imlach: | O hai! I am TV's G Imlach and I am excellent! Team tiem-trail 2da & no graft & corruption in bringing teh race 2 a town where teh mayor is C Prudhomme's b-i-l o noes! |
| ML Maire: | I do hope, G Imlach, that u r not implying French local politics is rife with sleaze? |
| G Imlach: | Perish teh thort! TV's Niec C Boardman, SCIENCE us! |
| G Boardman (from a safe distance): | I'm not playing! |
| NC Boardman: | Socks! Hats! Handlebars! Y I hav 2 wear this waistcoat? |
| G Imlach: | [Whistles innocently] T $ky, winnage G Thomas! M Rendall! |
| Omnes: | Where were u yesterda, M Rendall? |
| EC Boardman: | He dunt work on Sunda! |
| Omnes: | 4 religious reasons? |
| EC Boardman: | Noes, he's just teh idle fckr! A hahahaha! Ha ha! Ha! |
| M Rendall: | U gîtški, Gaiztok C Taxtakishi! G Thomas! |
| G Thomas: | R teh littul grilz @ skool? |
| M Rendall: | Si oui ja da igen hände hoch Tommy Robinson! Tutum est! |
| G Thomas: | Wind! Try 2 win stage! 4 sure! Shinyjumper! |
| Omnes: | Interview teh biek, M Rendall! It'd maek moar sense than either ov u! |
| M Rendall: | Fck! Off! |
| [...] |
| N Boulting: | O hai! I am TV's *** Boulting & I am excellent! Welcome 2 Cholet, where teh Wombles come from! |
| E Beresford: |  |
| SD Millar: | O hai ect ect. Put out moar flags! |
| N Boulting: | Look, see, T $ky! C Froome G Thomas! |
| SD Millar: | Discipline! |
| Bethany's Mum: | C mi website 4 available services, prices do not include VAT! |
| SD Millar: | |
| [...] |
| SD Millar: | ...TM Scott! Yates brothers! |
| S Yates (via avian datagram): | Hold on! Iz something sum1 4got 2 tell me? |
| SD Millar: | Errr... wind, predictable unpredictability & T $ky! Down 2 6 riders! Yoicks! |
| ML Maire: | R Porte! Yes, u, boy! Tuck ur elbows in! |
| R Porte: | Eeep! |
| N Boulting: | R Bardet French hope shinyjumper Champs Elysées! |
| M Pingu: | Up teh chimney wif him lol and, moreover roffle! |
| R Bardet: | Bof, u Ingleesh! |
| M Pingu: | Ur ded, R Bardet! D-E-D! |
| [...] |
| N Boulting: | T $ky... won't know if they haz teh winnage until teh final team haz finished! |
| Omnes: |  |
| [...] |
| Bethany [8]: | o hai gang wots occurrin? |
| Omnes: | T $ky fastest so far. Out ov 2. |
| Bethany [8]: | huh AND ive got maffs next maek a gril hapi y dont u? |
| Omnes: | Oooooooooh, tetchy! |
| [...] |
| N Quintana: | O hai mi naem iz I Montoya N Quintana u killed mi father prepare 2... oh. I haz lost 48 seconds 2 C Froome & G Thomas! Piss! |
| M Landa & A Valverde: | Who teh daddy now, I Montoya N Quintana? |
| M Rendall: | G Thomas klengen Plang blong T $ky parlak dres? |
| G Thomas: | Er, wait & see, taek it as it comes, long way 2 go yet. [Aside] What did he just say? |
| [...] |
| T BMC: | Ha! Taek that, T $ky! Shinyjumper 4 GV Avermaet? |
| G Thomas: | Pub! |
| [After teh resignation ov Bloody Stupid Johnson] |
| N Boulting: | Look, see, a fox with a bunny-wunny in its mouth! |
| Omnes: | U sure it not disgraced former defence secretary Liam Fox roffle bit ov political Stuffs Mrs Thatch mi naem's Ben Elton! |
| N Boulting: | What did they just say? |
| SD Millar: | TQ Step! WTF? F Gardenia Blues Explosion lol! |
| J Spencer*: | Fck! Off! |
| [...] |
| Bethany [8]: | skool's out wots hapnin? |
| N Boulting: | GV Avermaet P Gilbert CP Sagan? |
| SD Millar: | GV Avermaet P Gilbert CP Sagan! |
| Bethany [8]: | wot about mi Da... R Urán? |
| N Boulting & SD Millar: | Who? |
| Bethany [8]: | *%#^*%! |
| SD Millar: | CP Sagan! He's blowed up! |
| TB Hansgrohe: | No prisoners! |
| CP Sagan: | Meh! In teh house ov mi father are many jumpers! Crazy! |
| G Thomas: | We're in here, CP Sagan! Ur round! Hic! |
| [Enfin] |
| N Boulting: | P Gilbert! P Gilbe...GV Avermaet! Liek I sed all along! |
| TJV Garderen: | Hold on! I'm on teh same tiem as GV Avermaet and u never mentioned me once! And me with this terrible pain in all teh diodes down mi left side! |
| G Imlach: | Well that's put teh cat among teh penguins! |
| M Kitteh: | Eh? Also, miaow! |
| TD Windmill: | Great job... 4 sure... c what happens... |
| 5: | [Swoons] soz g thomas but ur dumped! |
| G Thomas: | Thank fck 4 that! Trebles all round! |
* No. No, not teh snooker player.
