Author Topic: Tour de France 2018 (Read 135068 times)

Beardy · « **Reply #925 on:** 27 July, 2018, 04:37:23 pm »

Blimey that all kicked off while I was away from any meja stuffs on my way to the train station. I’m now on the train so limited to apps for all the excitement.

woollypigs · « **Reply #926 on:** 27 July, 2018, 04:49:43 pm »

Wow G is still keen

T42 · « **Reply #927 on:** 27 July, 2018, 04:51:30 pm »

Great acceleration in the final sprint. Was sad to see Froome suffering but Roglic deserves his place.

Beardy · « **Reply #928 on:** 27 July, 2018, 04:53:41 pm »

So... the $64 question. Is G good enough at time trialling?

LittleWheelsandBig · « **Reply #929 on:** 27 July, 2018, 04:59:43 pm »

Probably yes.

andyoxon · « **Reply #930 on:** 27 July, 2018, 05:05:04 pm »

So G needs to stay out of trouble and have a good TT to do enough... Will Froome make the podium I wonder.

T42 · « **Reply #931 on:** 27 July, 2018, 05:26:59 pm »

Groupetto just arrived - OK.

Basil · « **Reply #932 on:** 27 July, 2018, 05:33:10 pm »

Quote from: T42 on 27 July, 2018, 05:26:59 pm

Groupetto just arrived - OK.

So Sagan in time? Good-oh.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #933 on:** 27 July, 2018, 05:36:44 pm »

Big bunch including CP Sagan came in at 38'23" down. Taylor Phinney was behind even them but still inside the cutoff.

citoyen · « **Reply #934 on:** 27 July, 2018, 05:55:01 pm »

Jelle Vanendert was even further back and abandoned about halfway through the stage. He probably wouldn't have made the time cut anyway.

spesh · « **Reply #935 on:** 27 July, 2018, 06:00:08 pm »

To steal from elsewhere, it's lucky that Porte crashed when he did since he would have been a good candidate to stack it in the misty bits on the Soulor/Aubisque.

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #936 on:** 27 July, 2018, 06:12:27 pm »

Stage 19: Lourdes > Laruns

(click to show/hide)

G Imlach:	O hai! Teh last da in teh Pyraknees and a heavy heavy monster stage! 200 km ov beastliness including teh climb so evil it has an adjective all ov its very own!
Bethany [8]:	Eh?
G Imlach:	Those who hav ridden up teh Col du Tourmalet are sed 2 b tourmalisé. Tourmalised.
Bethany [8]:	U made that up!
G Imlach:	No I never! "Tourmalised" iz a perfectly cromulent word!
Bethany [8]:	Isn't!
G Imlach:	Is so! Ask TV's M Rendall!
M Rendall:	Waffle permission kidless boyfriend^*!
Bethany [8]:	I wouldn't trust that 1 2 tell me teh tiem!
G Imlach:	As I woz saing. C Boardmen: is G Thomas safe in teh shinyjumper?
NC Boardman:	Yes. Yes, he iz. T $ky haz enuff strength 2 counter ne assault attacks from T Sunweb & TLNL Jumbo.
EC Boardman:	No. No, he iz not. TD Windmill haz been bluffing wif hiz "I am not strong enuff 2 assault attack G Thomas 2da" bum-gravy! He will taek tiem off G Thomas and then kick hiz donkey in teh tiem-trail! A hahahaha! Oh yes!
Omnes:	Now that's a metaphor 4 Brexit, N Farage!
N Farage:	Oh, how I wish there woz a war on! I could hav u shot!
G Imlach:	Other contenders?
EC Boardman:	T Moviestar! Lusers! [Adopts daft squeaky voice liek a Scouser trying 2 talk posh] Oh, we want 2 protect our position in teh team thing! Eeeeewh! Oh yes!
NC Boardman:	R Bardet may try 2 tourmalise everyone iffen he hasn't been stuffed up a chimney by J Alaphilippe 4 teh lulz!
G Imlach:	So there u haz it! Xitement, adventure & really wild things! *** & Super D, informationalise us!
TJV Garderen:	This is teh sort of thing u lifeforms enjoy, is it?
N Boulting:	O hai! Tour ov France not over yet! Mountains!
SD Millar:	Indeed, ***. L'autobus will form before C Prudhomme does his flaggyfing, TD Gendt will do a futile break & teh top ten will watch each other liek wols!
C Prudhomme:	Off u fck, u moth-eaten cushions!
	[Uzhul early-doors dicking around]
N Boulting:	CP Sagan! Iz he moar damaged than we suspected?
SD Millar:	I rather think he is. He iz practically a mummy under teh snottyjumper!
CP Sagan:	If I wasn't crazy I'd call this crazy! And join M Cavendish in teh pub!
	[...]
W Barguil:	I will indulge in a futile assault attack, ostensibly 4 spottypoints but mostly 4 teh lulz @ teh expense ov J Alaphilippe!
Bethany [8]:	Yay!
J Alaphilippe:	U utter tit, W Barguil! I woz looking 4ward 2 teh niec biek ride in teh country! RAAAAAWWWRR!
N Boulting:	Look, see! T Moviestar haz 2 riders up teh road!
Bethany [8]:	And that will achieve what, exactly?
A Valverde:	Here iz a whole bag ov kumquats, Bethany [8]!
Bethany [8]:	U learn fast, A Valverde!
L Rowe:	Right! Ne ov u lot trying 2 start nething will rnser 2 my new pal CP Sagan!
CP Sagan:	U heard teh man! U want crazy, I show u crazy! I borrow El Molñiero from JJ Jarlinsson, teh Columbian Viking!
T Pelican:	Yeth, mathters!
	[...]
TP Fairy:	O hai! O hai, B Jungels! Stab!
B Jungels:	Arse! Disc brakes! Double-arse!
N Boulting:	Lunchtiem!!1! M Smith & Dokta Hutch, give us teh benefit ov ur wossname!
	[Grams: WHOOOOSH!!1!]
M Smith:	O hai! O hai, D Hutch! D Hutch, y u walk funneh?
D Hutch:	O hai! I b0rked mi hip. Running. FFS!
M Smith:	Not over yet!
D Hutch:	No. No it is not. TD Windmill could still do teh long-range assault attack wif teh aid ov spreadsheets!
M Smith:	TLNL Jumbo alliance T Sunweb?
D Hutch:	Plausible. Also, P Roglic will beat C Froome in teh tiem-trail because I, TV's Dokta Hutch, sa so!
M Smith:	T $ky PR...
D Hutch:	C Froome! Damaged goods! Ooh ooh ooh ooh! Send them back!
Omnes:	Stone me, it's teh Gang Ov 4!
	[...]
D Hutch:	Even iffen G Thomas w1nz0rz teh Tour ov France, E Bernal will b teh next leader ov T $ky!
M Smith:	Tiem-trail! Teknikal!
D Hutch:	Not so teknikal! Designed 2 stop R Bardet from making a tit ov himself!
M Smith:	A Kristoff dropped by teh pelican! On his tod!
D Hutch:	CP Sagan suffering! Who's 3rd on snottypoints?
M Smith:	A Démare.
D Hutch:	Oh. OK. Who's 4th?
A Viewer:	Y r T Moviestar so Rubbish?
D Hutch:	Trident > fork > skewer > oblivion.
A Valverde:	Payment in kumquats OK?
D Hutch:	Cash onli!
A Valverde:	Piss!
	[...]
N Boulting:	We're baaaaaack! Well, me and Niec C are. Super D iz having a fite with a corkscrew.
	[FX: repeated hammering, revving chainsaw, muffled swearing, controlled xplosion]
SD Millar:	Gotcha, u bstrd!
NC Boardman:	Forty-six minutes 4 CP Sagan. Tho iffen he was outside teh tiem limit, teh Eh-Ess-Oh would let him back in!
Bethany [8]:	They didn't do that 4 M Cavendish!
EC Boardman:	Dur. He's BRITISH! Hahahaha! Oh yes!
C Prudhomme:	Bof!
NC Boardman:	3 mountainz between G Thomas & Paris!
CP Sagan:	Fck! Off!
N Boulting:	Look, see! A vulture!
EC Boardman:	It's circling CP Sagan! Hahahaha! Oh yes!
CP Sagan:	DIAF, EC Boardman!
J Alaphilippe:	\o/ Teh spottyjumper iz mine. Yarbles 2 u, W Barguil!
Bethany [8]:	Git!!1!
	[...]
N Boulting:	w00t! Teh Tourmalet! TK Alpecin on teh front ov teh pelican. No-1 knows why. Tiem 4 covfefe, M Smith & D Hutch!
M Smith:	W1nz0rz & lusers, D Hutch?
D Hutch:	E Bernal, F Gardenia, J Alaphilippe FTW! R Bardet M Cavendish made ov FAIL!
M Smith:	Characters in teh pelican? M Cipollini!
D Hutch:	CP Sagan J Alaphilippe! Peops liek 2 see biek racing done badly!
Omnes:	Plz 2 hav Dokta Hutch every da next year!
N Boulting:	Look, see! R Bardet assault attack!
T $ky:	Fcks_given = 0
SD Millar:	Pre-planned by T AG2R!
N Boulting:	M Landa! J Birdsong! I Saccharine, teh sneeky fukn Russian! R Majka!
SD Millar:	No reaction from TLNL Jumbo!
N Boulting:	Look, see! M Landa haz tourmalised R Bardet & I Saccharine, teh sneeky fukn Russian!
SD Millar:	Look, see! R Bardet & I Saccharine, teh sneeky fukn Russian, haz un-tourmalised themselves!
N Boulting:	M Landa virtual shinypodium!
T $ky:	C our store ov fcks? Still teh saem siez as it woz 3 hours ago!
J Alaphilippe:	\o/ Et le Prix J Goddet aussi!
	[...]
N Boulting:	M Landa virtually ahead ov TD Windmill!
SD Millar:	Bof! M Landa will have tourmalised himself and will blo up on teh Aubisque because I, TV's Super D Millar, sa so!
N Boulting:	M Landa could get teh virtual shinyjumper!
SD Millar:	That would b teh FAIL by T $ky & T Sunweb!
	[On teh Bordères]
N Boulting:	R Bardet! M Landa! TQ Step!
SD Millar:	R Gesink @ front ov pelican! Long pull limit loss!
N Boulting:	J Alaphilippe blown up in teh service ov B Jungels!
SD Millar:	J Castroviejo blown up in teh service ov G Thomas!
N Boulting:	A Valverde blown up in teh service ov, er, what exactly?
J Alaphilippe:	So I haz blowed up! Ptui and, moreover LOL!
TJV Garderen:	Incredible… it’s even worse than I thought it would be!
N Boulting:	R Gesink haz blowed up! No grate surprise!
T $ky:	Ta, R Gesink! [Aside] U silly sod!
N Boulting:	S Geschke & hiz hipsta beard hav blowed up!
	[On teh Aubisque]
N Boulting:	All going according 2 T $ky's Cunning Plan!
SD Millar:	I Saccharine, teh sneeky fukn Russian, descending liek teh mountain walrus!
N Boulting:	Look, see! S Kruijswijk iz on 1!
T $ky:	Wud ne1 liek 2 borrow some fcks? We haz loadz 2 spare!
	[@ teh front]
N Boulting:	Look, see! M Landa R Bardet wif R Majka in luke-warm pursuit!
	[In teh remains ov teh pelican]
N Boulting:	TD Windmill! Assault attack!
T $ky:	Check ur figures, ***! 1 ov him & lots ov us!
D Martin:	I haz a go... oh! U utter git, P Roglic!
SD Millar:	E Bernal blowed up! C Froome blowed up!
S Kruijswijk:	Noes! Cort! By mi own team-mate! U utter git, P Roglic!
	[Worst-timed shitverts evvah]
N Boulting:	Look, see! E Bernal & C Froome have cort up agane!
C Froome:	Ta, son!
E Bernal:	I want moar money 4 this job!
SD Millar:	S Kruijswijk haz doned another assault attack! WTF r TLNL Jumbo doing?
5:	Ooooh, look! Poneys!
	[@ teh front]
M Landa & R Bardet:	FFS! R bloody Majka!
T Pelican:	O hai, I Saccharine, teh sneeky fukn Russian!
I Saccharine:	Piss!
T Pelican:	O hai, R Bardet & M Landa!
M Landa & R Bardet:	Arse!
Omnes:	Oh-oh! Spectidiots!
T Pelican:	O hai, R Maj... bugger! He got away!
R Majka:	Catch me if u can!
P Roglic:	Challenge accepted! [Sits back, lets inner hooligan taek over]
	[...]
P Roglic:	\o/ Compared wif throwing urself off a mountain strapped 2 a pair ov planks, that woz teh simples! Also, I haz bonerfications!
G Thomas:	I haz teh bonerfications also!
TD Windmill:	Piss!
	[...]
P Roglic:	Really 'appy! Crazy! 4 sure! 2moro iz new da! 4 sure!
CP Sagan:	I'll let u off, just this once!
D Martin:	Motorbieks! Ridiculous!
TD Windmill:	Motorbieks! Ridiculous!
G Imlach:	Wowsa! We could haz an xiting tiem-trail! Could G Thomas w1nz0r teh tiem-trail?
NC Boardman:	TD Windmill sez P Roglic will pwn it!
Omnes:	Iz it such a gud idea 2 play QOTSA's "No One Knows" over teh end credits, Vsquared, bearing in mind that teh 2nd verse goes "We get these pills to swallow / How they stick / In your throat / Tastes like gold"?

* PP^TM doffs its non-wanky hat 2 Scott sotp 4 finding this phrase or saying inna Canuckistani TV guide

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #937 on:** 27 July, 2018, 06:14:27 pm »

Quote from: citoyen on 27 July, 2018, 05:55:01 pm

Jelle Vanendert was even further back and abandoned about halfway through the stage. He probably wouldn't have made the time cut anyway.

Was that on what *** referred to as the "Col d'Aspic"? Ba-dum, tish!

(He also mentioned the Col des Ordures)

mzjo · « **Reply #938 on:** 27 July, 2018, 08:19:38 pm »

Quote from: sojournermike on 27 July, 2018, 12:13:04 am

Quote from: Ivan on 26 July, 2018, 05:37:37 pm
Don't have my copy of Steven Pinker's Language Instinct to hand, but pretty sure Tour de Frances is correct, as 'Tour de France' is the single entity you are making plural. It's similar to why we say Mickey Mouses (if you saw two at Disney, say) rather than Mickey Mice.

No, that can’t be right. There’s only one Mickey Mouse.

Tour de France is french. In french I am pretty sure that all place names are "invariable" which means they can't change. There is in any case only one France while you can have as many tours as you want. therefore Tour de France en pluriel est Tours de France (is that why Farage called for Brexit by any chance?)

Of course tous les cons (et connes) savent que c'est Le Tour - point.

SteveC · « **Reply #939 on:** 27 July, 2018, 08:31:33 pm »

If you translate it you wouldn't say 'Tour of Frances' for more than one (might be interesting for other reasons I suppose).

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #940 on:** 27 July, 2018, 08:33:33 pm »

Just watched the highlights and saw Phinney coming in with a suspected broken nose, looking like he'd done eight rounds with Bouhanni.

mzjo · « **Reply #941 on:** 27 July, 2018, 08:37:46 pm »

I too was very pleased to see Super P Sagan survive, in spite of Katusha"s efforts to put him hors delai. He and Alaphilippe are the two riders this tour who for me have really shown a good public image, close to their fans and not deadpan all the time.
Taylor Phinney really was in a bit of a mess when he got in - hope it is only superficial and he doesn't need his nose rebuilding.
Good on G sprinting for the bonus seconds in a close Tour; he presents the image of being more combative than a lot of recent MJ!

Mr Larrington · « **Reply #942 on:** 27 July, 2018, 08:41:52 pm »

It was only a couple of years ago that Froome went head to head with Crazy P for the stage win and time bonuses after the pelican accidentally blew itself up.

mzjo · « **Reply #943 on:** 27 July, 2018, 08:59:58 pm »

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 27 July, 2018, 08:41:52 pm

It was only a couple of years ago that Froome went head to head with Crazy P for the stage win and time bonuses after the pelican accidentally blew itself up.

Indeed and certain others (including one whose initials are not very different from LA) also did but somehow rather more cynically. I think I must be a G fanboy

T42 · « **Reply #944 on:** 28 July, 2018, 07:13:07 am »

Quote from: SteveC on 27 July, 2018, 08:31:33 pm

If you translate it you wouldn't say 'Tour of Frances' for more than one (might be interesting for other reasons I suppose).

It sounds more like an anatomical excursion hosted by an accommodating personage of the female persuasion.

As it happens, there are several Tours de France, one of the most prominent being a sailing event with race stages moving round the coast at the same time as the Tour proper. No Alpine stages, even though we do have Alpes Maritimes.

https://www.tourvoile.fr/en/

Hmph. They changed the official name - everyone calls it the Tour de France à la Voile.

mattc · « **Reply #945 on:** 28 July, 2018, 08:01:17 am »

Quote from: spesh on 27 July, 2018, 11:25:02 am

Quote from: Mr Larrington on 27 July, 2018, 03:23:35 am
Now I come to think of it, I did see a shampoo ad the other day featuring notable Tour drop-out M Kitteh, or a fairly convincing lookalike. But I've no idea what The Product is for half the sponsors of the Tour teams.

Via the magic of Wikinaccurate and JFGI:

(click to show/hide)
Team: Sponsors:
AG2R La Mondiale Ag2r Prevoyance (French insurance and savings co.)
Astana Pro Team The Samruk-Kazyna, a coalition of state-owned companies from Kazakhstan
Bahrain - Merida The government of Bahrain and a Taiwanese bicycle manufacturer
BMC Racing Team Swiss bicycle manufacturer
Bora - Hansgrohe BORA (German kitchen surfaces/extractor fans co.); Hansgrohe (german bathroom products co.)
Cofidis, Solutions Crédits French money-lending co.
Direct Energie French international electric utility co.
FDJ French national lottery
Lotto Soudal Belgian national lottery; Soudal (Belgian adhesives co.)
Mitchelton - Scott Mitchelton (Aussie boutique hotel and winery); Scott (Swiss producer of bicycles, winter equipment, motorsports gear and sportswear)
Movistar Team Spanish mobile telecoms operator
Quick-Step Floors US-owned laminate flooring manufacturer
Team Dimension Data South African IT services co.
Team EF Education First – Drapac P/B Cannondale EF Education First (Swedish-Swiss education co.): Drapac Capital Partners (Aussie-US real estate firm): Cannondale Bicycle Corp. (US-Canadian bicycle manufacturer)
Team Fortuneo – Samsic Fortuneo (French online bank); Samsic (French business service provider and France's 2nd largest cleaning co.)
Team Katusha - Alpecin Katusha Sports (Swiss-based cycling clothing brand); Alpecin (German shampoo co.)
Team Lotto NL - Jumbo Dutch national lottery; Jumbo (Dutch supermarket chain)
Team Sky Pay-TV broadcaster
Team Sunweb Sunweb (Dutch-owned international tour operator)
Trek – Segafredo Trek (US bike manufacturer); Segafredo (italian coffee brand)
UAE Team Emirates United Arab Emirates; Emirates airline
Wanty – Groupe Gobert Wanty (mini-conglomerate with activities ranging from quarrying to civil engineering and roadsurfacing); Groupe Gobert supplies building materials like insulation or paving stones.

Thanks for that

Team Wanty-Gobert have easily the silliest name, and they're also the only teamname that I don't recall once in commentary or news.
Their website has some uninspiring text, such as:

Quote

Since the cessation of activity at the end of 2013 of his team Vacansoleil, which participated three times in the Tour de France (from 2011 to 2013) without winning a stage, sporting director Hilaire Van der Schueren has been busy with Wanty-Groupe Gobert. He is a dinosaur in the profession

https://www.letour.fr/en/team/WGG/wanty-groupe-gobert

Ivan · « **Reply #946 on:** 28 July, 2018, 09:37:23 am »

Quote from: T42 on 28 July, 2018, 07:13:07 am

No Alpine stages, even though we do have Alpes Maritimes.

So, you can pluralise both - Tours de Frances?

Vince · « **Reply #947 on:** 28 July, 2018, 10:10:46 am »

Shouldn't it be Les Tour de France?

#NotALinguist

T42 · « **Reply #948 on:** 28 July, 2018, 10:52:33 am »

Quote from: Ivan on 28 July, 2018, 09:37:23 am

Quote from: T42 on 28 July, 2018, 07:13:07 am
No Alpine stages, even though we do have Alpes Maritimes.
So, you can pluralise both - Tours de Frances?

Not unless you're referring to the accommodating lady.

Quote from: Vince on 28 July, 2018, 10:10:46 am

Shouldn't it be Les Tour de France?

#NotALinguist

Nope.

citoyen · « **Reply #949 on:** 28 July, 2018, 11:21:45 am »

Quote from: mattc on 28 July, 2018, 08:01:17 am

Team Wanty-Gobert have easily the silliest name, and they're also the only teamname that I don't recall once in commentary or news.

Guillaume Martin has been quite prominent in the battle for the white jersey, although he’s fallen well behind Pierre Latour now. Thomas Degand has been in at least one breakaway (not to be confused with Thomas De Gendt, who is in nearly every breakaway). Likewise Van Keirsbulck, Pasqualon and Offredo. Dion Smith even wore the polka dot jersey in the early stages. They’ve done ok really. They don’t figure much in the business end of stages though, so you probably don’t see much of them if you only watch the highlights.

The one that puzzles me is Fortuneo-Samsic - their branding is very inconspicuous on the jersey, so every time I see one of their riders, it takes me a moment to work out what team it is. Slightly missing the point of having commercial sponsors for teams. At least WGG have their branding reasonably clear.

Alexander Kristoff’s European Champion jersey is similarly hard to distinguish at a glance.

Quote

Their website has some uninspiring text, such as:
Quote
Since the cessation of activity at the end of 2013 of his team Vacansoleil, which participated three times in the Tour de France (from 2011 to 2013) without winning a stage, sporting director Hilaire Van der Schueren has been busy with Wanty-Groupe Gobert. He is a dinosaur in the profession
https://www.letour.fr/en/team/WGG/wanty-groupe-gobert

Good grief. Their marketing team need a rocket up the arse.

Team:		Sponsors:
AG2R La Mondiale		Ag2r Prevoyance (French insurance and savings co.)
Astana Pro Team		The Samruk-Kazyna, a coalition of state-owned companies from Kazakhstan
Bahrain - Merida		The government of Bahrain and a Taiwanese bicycle manufacturer
BMC Racing Team		Swiss bicycle manufacturer
Bora - Hansgrohe		BORA (German kitchen surfaces/extractor fans co.); Hansgrohe (german bathroom products co.)
Cofidis, Solutions Crédits		French money-lending co.
Direct Energie		French international electric utility co.
FDJ		French national lottery
Lotto Soudal		Belgian national lottery; Soudal (Belgian adhesives co.)
Mitchelton - Scott		Mitchelton (Aussie boutique hotel and winery); Scott (Swiss producer of bicycles, winter equipment, motorsports gear and sportswear)
Movistar Team		Spanish mobile telecoms operator
Quick-Step Floors		US-owned laminate flooring manufacturer
Team Dimension Data		South African IT services co.
Team EF Education First – Drapac P/B Cannondale		EF Education First (Swedish-Swiss education co.): Drapac Capital Partners (Aussie-US real estate firm): Cannondale Bicycle Corp. (US-Canadian bicycle manufacturer)
Team Fortuneo – Samsic		Fortuneo (French online bank); Samsic (French business service provider and France's 2nd largest cleaning co.)
Team Katusha - Alpecin		Katusha Sports (Swiss-based cycling clothing brand); Alpecin (German shampoo co.)
Team Lotto NL - Jumbo		Dutch national lottery; Jumbo (Dutch supermarket chain)
Team Sky		Pay-TV broadcaster
Team Sunweb		Sunweb (Dutch-owned international tour operator)
Trek – Segafredo		Trek (US bike manufacturer); Segafredo (italian coffee brand)
UAE Team Emirates		United Arab Emirates; Emirates airline
Wanty – Groupe Gobert		Wanty (mini-conglomerate with activities ranging from quarrying to civil engineering and roadsurfacing); Groupe Gobert supplies building materials like insulation or paving stones.