Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 428527 times)

citoyen

  • Occasionally rides a bike
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1200 on: 24 January, 2019, 01:32:56 pm »
Ooh, aaahhhhh.. I've gone all woosy.  Warm/cold, sweaty.....

Deep breath.  Head between knees. 

Aye. There's something about blades that even just reading about stuff like this has the same effect on me.

No pictures, please and thank you, mrcharly. Never.
"The future's all yours, you lousy bicycles."

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1201 on: 24 January, 2019, 03:48:54 pm »
I have long track record of this sort of thing. Garden fork (very blunt one) through wellies and foot. When I was 4.
Knife through hand (cutting leather) as youth.
Dropped paring knife - wife saw it drop from my hand and heard it hit something solid. "Was that the floor?" she asks "No, my toe" It bounced, off the bone. Didn't even stick in, just made the same noise as if it had landed on wood.

etc
<i>Marmite slave</i>

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1202 on: 24 January, 2019, 04:58:58 pm »
Have you thought about growing a beard?  :D
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1203 on: 24 January, 2019, 06:15:24 pm »
Ouch, Ouch , Ouch  :jurek:      As a fellow Feather user you have my deepest sympathy. 
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

yorkie

  • On top of the Galibier
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1204 on: 24 January, 2019, 06:35:44 pm »
Have you thought about growing a beard?  :D

Why do you think I grew a beard?  ;) (Well, it's more "stopped shaving" than "grew a beard", but it's (more or less) the same result!)  :-D
Born to ride my bike, forced to work! ;)

British Cycling Regional A Track Commissaire
British Cycling Regional A Circuit Commissaire
Cycling Attendant, York Sport Village Cycle Circuit and Velodrome

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1205 on: 24 January, 2019, 06:59:29 pm »
The demands of Tidy Hair still require some razor topiary of the facial shrubbery twice a week.

I have recounted the story of my PhD thesis before, but it hurt, so I'm milking the anecdote. I printed out the five copies of my erudite masterpiece and stacked them neatly in the box the paper came in ready to take to the binders. But they didn't fill the box, so I thought I'd trim off the top of the box to make it less bulky for transport. Looking around for a suitable cardboard device I did espy a surgical scalpel. Aha!

Anyway, I had to print off another five copies and I still have the scar across the base of my thumb. When they say blood, sweat, and tears go into these things, apparently they don't mean literally.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1206 on: 25 January, 2019, 06:02:08 am »
Twice a week!

In these parts, the angry weasel gets let out to do its thing about twice a month. Maybe that's why its so angry.

On topic, can I just say bowsaw, new blade, test for sharpness, skips onto back of index finger, yes that's very sharp indeed.  Superglue and steristrips for that one.
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1207 on: 25 January, 2019, 09:43:53 am »
I also do my eyebrows, ears, and nostrils. I am man not gorilla. I think I might be turning metrosexual or something.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1208 on: 30 January, 2019, 03:55:30 pm »
Me today as I drive into the work offsite car park

Quote
oh that's icy *drives gingerly*

Me as I then walk out of the car park to the office. *whoosh* *Splat* feet went right with the camber and I landed on the heel of my left hand.

4 hours later with a swollen and stiff wrist I went home via the minor injuries unit. One fracture in my left wrist.

Tim Hall

  • Victoria is my queen
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1209 on: 30 January, 2019, 04:27:59 pm »
Me today as I drive into the work offsite car park

Quote
oh that's icy *drives gingerly*

Me as I then walk out of the car park to the office. *whoosh* *Splat* feet went right with the camber and I landed on the heel of my left hand.

4 hours later with a swollen and stiff wrist I went home via the minor injuries unit. One fracture in my left wrist.
Ouch. GWS.
There are two ways you can get exercise out of a bicycle: you can
"overhaul" it, or you can ride it.  (Jerome K Jerome)

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1210 on: 30 January, 2019, 04:37:56 pm »
Gosh, I hope you weren't on company property because they might have a duty of care to ensure that such an accident didn't happen by ensuring such surfaces had been appropriately gritted, and well, you would like a new bicycle, wouldn't you?

diapsaon0

  • Advena ego sum in terra
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1211 on: 30 January, 2019, 04:42:00 pm »
Gosh, I hope you weren't on company property because they might have a duty of care to ensure that such an accident didn't happen by ensuring such surfaces had been appropriately gritted, and well, you would like a new bicycle, wouldn't you?

Similar thing happened to me, many years ago.  I was advised to make an insurance claim and - several years later - got a very respectable pay out as the fall aggravated an old back injury and meant I had to give up my job.
Advena ego sum in Terra

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1212 on: 30 January, 2019, 04:46:48 pm »
Many years ago I slipped in the stairs at a train station. Despite the clear fact that it was winter and the forecast for sub-freezing weather, they'd not bothered with any kind of precaution.

That omission worked out rather expensive. And I doubt I was the only one who slipped.

All said, I would have swapped the money for not having a sore coccyx for about six months afterwards.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1213 on: 30 January, 2019, 05:40:22 pm »
Gosh, I hope you weren't on company property because they might have a duty of care to ensure that such an accident didn't happen by ensuring such surfaces had been appropriately gritted, and well, you would like a new bicycle, wouldn't you?

The duty of care is not an absolute duty to remove all possible hazards.  However, given the well publicised weather expectations, it's not an unreasonable expectation in this case.

My sister did exactly the same on a patch of ice on our garden path one evening, aged about 14.  She still says it was on the other side of the path in the morning
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1214 on: 30 January, 2019, 05:57:52 pm »
Not on company property, the company owned car park was gritted but the council parking where they lease spaces and particularly the access road was not gritted as it is not land owned by the company and not in their control.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1215 on: 02 February, 2019, 07:35:15 pm »
So why can't I find coverage of the Superbowl on TV, Oh yes, because it's tomorrow.

I know!  I only watch the first quarter and then fall asleep
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1216 on: 03 February, 2019, 01:53:35 pm »
I had sore bloody everything on the hills yesterday, but that was because I'd taken out my old bike without checking anything and I'd lent a bloke the SQR block that was on it then put the saddle back an inch too low.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Guy

  • Retired
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1217 on: 04 February, 2019, 12:42:41 pm »
How on earth does a grown-up take a swig of coffee and manage to completely miss his mouth?  :facepalm:
"The Opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject"  Marcus Aurelius

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1218 on: 04 February, 2019, 01:01:20 pm »
How on earth does a grown-up take a swig of coffee and manage to completely miss his mouth?  :facepalm:

Paging Ted Striker.  Ted Striker to the white courtesy phone please...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1219 on: 04 February, 2019, 01:06:08 pm »
How on earth does a grown-up take a swig of coffee and manage to completely miss his mouth?  :facepalm:

Would you like lessons? Can be arranged, reasonable cost.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1220 on: 05 February, 2019, 09:26:29 pm »
Slightly OT but helpful hopefully when sawing with a bow saw, we any saw really if when starting you cross your hand over so holding hand over cutting hand if and when the same slips you just get a blunt metal against the bottom of your arm. That's a Ray Mears tip.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1221 on: 05 February, 2019, 10:00:28 pm »
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1222 on: 05 February, 2019, 10:06:55 pm »
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...
Hopefully, they were your trousers....

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1223 on: 05 February, 2019, 11:16:20 pm »
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...

I wouldn't dare ask who was responsible and why you had to put them on in such a hurry...
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #1224 on: 05 February, 2019, 11:40:04 pm »
A few days ago I only realised my trousers were back to front at 8pm...

I wouldn't dare ask who was responsible and why you had to put them on in such a hurry...

I am a fecking div qed.

I was in no hurry.
I was totally responsible.
My trews are elasticated 'pull-up' things.

My only excuse is that I need to sit cross-legged to haul my weak limbs into clothing and got it wrong this time (and the elasticated waistband is six inches too loose).
I didn't notice most of the day.

I'm such a fecking div...