Author Topic: Insane management acronyms  (Read 3781 times)

Insane management acronyms
« on: 29 November, 2017, 07:47:09 pm »
I'm working at a new place which uses the highest number of new-to-me acronyms I've ever come across.

I thought I knew what CV meant as they are trying to get some new people, but no, it turns out it's short for civils  ::-)

rogerzilla

  • When n+1 gets out of hand
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #1 on: 29 November, 2017, 09:44:22 pm »
Really an anti-management one, but a CLM is a career-limiting move, usually one that involves challenging the prevailing orthodoxy.  Only those with another job in the bag, a short time to retirement, or the foolish, risk CLMs.
Hard work sometimes pays off in the end, but laziness ALWAYS pays off NOW.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #2 on: 30 November, 2017, 12:46:32 am »
Once at a management meeting I put UAB on a post it note (in an exercise where we post it noted stuff for issues we needed to deal with.)

It was a business swamped with jargon and TLAs

What do you mean!?

Use of Acronyms in the Business.

It got a few laughs and a change in attitude.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #3 on: 30 November, 2017, 05:56:12 am »
Acronyms are used in abundance on this forum with the full meaning nowhere in the sentence for context.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #4 on: 30 November, 2017, 07:01:45 am »
The rail industry is by far the worst in this in my experience, and deliberately uses it as a barrier to entry.

I've got used to not being embarrassed to ask, when you have only three or four days for an audit, you can't be shy
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #5 on: 30 November, 2017, 08:02:25 am »
Acronyms are used in abundance on this forum with the full meaning nowhere in the sentence for context.

EFS.

I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

meddyg

  • 'You'll have had your tea?'
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #6 on: 30 November, 2017, 08:20:50 am »
FFS !

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #7 on: 30 November, 2017, 10:08:20 am »
The Engineering and Integrated Equipment Inspection Officer.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #8 on: 30 November, 2017, 10:55:09 am »
Acronyms are used in abundance on this forum with the full meaning nowhere in the sentence for context.

EFS.

I've forgotten what this meant, now.  :-[
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #9 on: 30 November, 2017, 10:59:20 am »
Acronyms are used in abundance on this forum with the full meaning nowhere in the sentence for context.

EFS.

I've forgotten what this meant, now.  :-[

JFGI :demon:
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Ben T

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #10 on: 30 November, 2017, 10:59:32 am »
There's loads where I work, most of which about 70% of people know what they mean, but, concerningly, there's some for which no-one* knows what they mean.

*no-one still around, anyway.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #11 on: 30 November, 2017, 11:58:44 am »
[OT as not at all insane]
Medical, not management but for me, acronym of the week: I present you the MASALA study.
https://www.masalastudy.org/about/
which seek to study factors causing heart disease in South Asian people.

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #12 on: 30 November, 2017, 12:04:06 pm »
I used to work for BNFL Magnox at Berkeley Centre.  I was writing code in the wonderfully-named (FORTRAN 77-based!)

PWR and
AGR
Neutronics and
Thermal
Hydraulics
Evaluation
Route.

There was also a

PANTHER
Update for
Magnox
Application.

 :thumbsup:

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #13 on: 30 November, 2017, 12:09:28 pm »
I sent an email this morning entitled
EU GDPR IRP work by DSS team on EDW :facepalm:
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #14 on: 30 November, 2017, 12:17:15 pm »
I used to work for BNFL Magnox at Berkeley Centre.  I was writing code in the wonderfully-named (FORTRAN 77-based!)

PWR and
AGR
Neutronics and
Thermal
Hydraulics
Evaluation
Route.

There was also a

PANTHER
Update for
Magnox
Application.

 :thumbsup:

Nested acronyms/abbreviations - I don't know whether that's a special kind of warped sense of humour/radiation-induced superpower, or the composers thereof simply deserve their own circle of Hell.  :demon:  ;D
"He who fights monsters should see to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you." ~ Freidrich Neitzsche

Kim

  • Timelord
    • Fediverse
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #15 on: 30 November, 2017, 01:51:17 pm »
I think there's a line though.

Acronyms as jargon in a specialist field are reasonable enough:  They're better than the alternative, which is to give meaningless cutesy names to everything.  Pun or recursive acronyms for new things are the thing-inventor's prerogative.  Nobody expects to immerse themselves in an unfamiliar specialism without a learning curve, and explanatory materials for non-experts should avoid acronym soup for clarity.

Acronyms that started off as jargon or useful abbreviations that have become part of mainstream language are fair game. Radar.  CD-ROM.  NSFW.  HMRC.  LGBT.  That sort of thing.  The problem comes where one person's mainstream language is another person's jargon, or when an acronym is overloaded in different contexts.

Acronyms as jargon whose primary function is to be a shibboleth for management types, with a side-order of obfuscation of the obvious to give the appearance of highly skilled work is another thing entirely.  I'm sure they'd say the same thing about tech, thobut.

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
  • Custard Wallah
    • Mr Larrington's Automatic Diary
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #16 on: 30 November, 2017, 02:04:11 pm »
Place I used to work had a bunch of programs collectively named:

Suite for
Assessment of
Flammable,
Explosive and
Toxic
Impacts.

When I left they were working on a version for the nuclear industry, but were having trouble coming up with a name.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #17 on: 30 November, 2017, 02:08:36 pm »
We are supposed to be coming up with ideas for a new product.

The project for the new product has been given an acronym name already - they've backronymed the company owner's first name  :sick:
<i>Marmite slave</i>

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #18 on: 30 November, 2017, 02:31:41 pm »
I sent an email this morning entitled
EU GDPR IRP work by DSS team on EDW :facepalm:

EUETS NER for SGP

Is it something about the EU?
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #19 on: 30 November, 2017, 02:38:55 pm »
SOP, isn't it?


[I have coined LBL- Leave before Lee, the notorious shirker and early-scarper-merchant]

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #20 on: 30 November, 2017, 03:52:24 pm »
in this case was definitely SGP - Shetland Gas Plant, not SOP - Standard Operating Procedure, vs last week's OPI - Operating Instruction
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #21 on: 30 November, 2017, 09:11:10 pm »
F2P2.

Fit For PorPoise  :facepalm:
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #22 on: 30 November, 2017, 09:19:57 pm »
R2P2
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Mrs Pingu

  • Who ate all the pies? Me
    • Twitter
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #23 on: 30 November, 2017, 09:39:41 pm »
Do not clench. It only makes it worse.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Insane management acronyms
« Reply #24 on: 30 November, 2017, 10:14:36 pm »
I sent an email this morning entitled
EU GDPR IRP work by DSS team on EDW :facepalm:

EUETS NER for SGP

Is it something about the EU?
EU General Data Protection Requirement Information Retention Policy work [being done] by [the] DDecision Support Systems team on [the] Enterprise Data Warehouse. The Emil was actually a snotogram asking why they hadn’t updated me on how much the work was going to cost and how long it was going to take them. 🤓
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.