Author Topic: Jobs You Got Fired From  (Read 2890 times)

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Jobs You Got Fired From
« on: 12 June, 2018, 05:51:42 pm »
Have we done this already?

My last job fired me after I'd already started the bike shop. I'd already (in my head) walked anyway, spent a month or so on a sick note and simply stopped communicating with them.

Opened for business on the 1st of November and got a P45 as a Xmas card!

Where have you had the Order of the Boot from? And what was the reason?
Extra points for ridiculous/amusing reasons, it's not meant to be an exercise in bitterness...
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

ian

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #1 on: 12 June, 2018, 07:42:36 pm »
I've never been fired (which surprises me and everyone who knows me). I did fire myself once and simply walk out. As the boardroom table was in the way and the meeting was quite crowded, that meant I had to walk across the table to get to the door and thusly vacate the room and premises.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #2 on: 12 June, 2018, 07:58:16 pm »
Ditto. Fourty years this summer, man and boy. Though the threat currently hanging over us does make me wonder if I’ll get to that milestone.
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Paul

  • L'enfer, c'est les autos.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #3 on: 12 June, 2018, 11:12:42 pm »
I had a casual job delivering furniture until I crumpled the fancy van on a low bridge.

Shame, but if you pay (off the books) peanuts...
What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #4 on: 13 June, 2018, 12:34:14 am »
Voluntary redundancy probably doesn't count. That was how I left the Civil Service.

For 16 years I wrote chess articles for the Recorder group of newspapers (Ilford, Romford, Newham and even as far away as the Ham & High). The Recorder group was taken over by (I think) the D. Express or some such, and they had a particular formula for running a local newspaper which didn't actually include any decent content at all, but was merely a load of crap with many adverts.

So they gave me, and a number of other correspondents, the push. It was a bit of a shame because I think I was only the 4th, and definitely the least illustrious, person to have occupied that position of Chess Correspondent. My predecessors were F.F.L. Alexander, T. H. (Tommy) George and Harry Woolverton.

I just googled and found one of my own articles! http://www.chesscolumn.co.uk/2002/art1031.html I had forgotten that I had written that.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Ben T

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #5 on: 13 June, 2018, 06:51:47 am »
I once worked on the till in makro, and they got rid of the chairs [that the till operators sat on] to save/make money, so I just stopped going in and being the student I was just didn't bother telling them, just stopped turning up. Not sure if that was a sacking or technically a resignation...

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #6 on: 13 June, 2018, 08:57:06 am »
In 1983 the company I worked for went bankrupt but was bought out for its client base. They kept on all the programmers and made the managers redundant. I got shown the door with 6 months' salary in my pocket, bought a new car, went independent and quadrupled my income.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #7 on: 13 June, 2018, 11:08:07 am »
There used to be a place in Bath, right next to the abbey, called Binks. Prime tourist location. It was a cafe in the daytime, a restaurant in the evening and it also had a little place selling ice creams directly to the Abbey square. I worked in all three parts. In the ice cream parlour, we had to make a little stack of all the cones that got broken so they could be counted at the end of the day. One day a woman came in to the ice cream parlour asking if she could have just an empty cone for her baby, so I gave her one of the broken ones. A manager saw me do this, marched in and gave me a week's notice. Ironically I spent most of that last week in the ice cream parlour.

As an aside, during the one summer I was there, that manager had physically assaulted a customer, and another manager (a nice one, who was also rumoured to be the only one who did not steal money from the tills and get it deducted from the till operator's wages – though that never happened to me) had been attacked by an irate customer. The one who fired me threw himself off a bridge not long after.
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #8 on: 13 June, 2018, 11:14:47 am »
After years of frustration I told the M.D. at the time he didn’t know what he was doing (he didn’t, abject wanker so far up his own arse it was painful). That didn’t help my cause, with the inevitable outcome. No regrets personally, I got out with a tidy sum and they went bust a few months later. My only regret was the many good people who lost their livelihood as a result.

A

Pedaldog.

  • Heedlessly impulsive, reckless, rash.
  • The Madcap!
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #9 on: 13 June, 2018, 01:32:43 pm »
Barbados, 1987. A Company Paid holiday for the "Top 12, Worldwide, Sales staff and spouses". I didn't like the UK MD and, when we were out on a sailing ship in the Caribbean, Six of us hanging above the water on a rope, my left foot "Slipped, quite forcefully", into the small of his back. This caused him to slip off the rope and, unfortunately, we found out he couldn't swim. We discussed his "Looking weak in front of his international bosses and cohorts" and, when we got back to the UK I had an offer to transfer to Sales Manager in a different, 55 miles away, office.
You touch my Coffee and I'll slap you so hard, even Google won't be able to find you!

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #10 on: 13 June, 2018, 01:41:30 pm »
Budapest 2006. I foolishly transferred myself to a division of a CAD software company headed by a twatty Arkansian (?). He ran it like John Wayne in one of his war films and took a project off me & gave it to a colleague without any notice or explanation. Thereafter I spent my days surfing the web and dossing. In the end, that got boring, so I kept asking for a meeting with the twat. Eventually we got together & I asked him to fire me, so he did - giving me 6-weeks gardening leave. Little did he know that the company was thereby compelled by Hungarian law to pay me until the end of my 1-year contract - I was four months into it. He tried to back pedal, but the papers were signed and I got a lovely pay off; walked into a better job from a recommendation from someone else the twat had upset; so it worked out very nicely.
Haggerty F, Haggerty R, Tomkins, Noble, Carrick, Robson, Crapper, Dewhurst, Macintyre, Treadmore, Davitt.

Aunt Maud

  • Le Flâneur.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #11 on: 13 June, 2018, 01:51:20 pm »
Sacked from a ski mechanic job in Thredbo for activities with the bosses' wife which weren't part of my official job description.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #12 on: 13 June, 2018, 02:18:01 pm »
At the tender age of 16, I was sacked from my post as barman at my school's Sixth Form Club for being a bit wobbly on duty... :-[

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #13 on: 13 June, 2018, 04:03:56 pm »
Pedaldog. That's a stoater!

AM. Didn't know you were a gardener . . .
VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Gus

  • Loosing weight stone by stone
    • We will return
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #14 on: 13 June, 2018, 04:40:26 pm »
Many years ago , I got sacked from my lab. technician job, they wanted to relocate me to Wavre in Belgium, make me a leader of the laboratory and lower my annual wage 15%.
But I would get a nice title.....
They couldn't understand why I declined. ::-) ::-)

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #15 on: 13 June, 2018, 05:02:04 pm »
Sacked from a ski mechanic job in Thredbo for activities with the bosses' wife which weren't part of my official job description.

Without wishing to go off to Pedant's Corner, I feel that the placing of your apostrophe is crucial here. How many bosses? How many wives?

And Well Done!  :D
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Aunt Maud

  • Le Flâneur.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #16 on: 13 June, 2018, 05:23:48 pm »
I was wondering about that, is it boss' wife for singular one boss one wife and bosses' for multiple bosses and multiple wives ?

I won't mention the boss' stepdaughter.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #17 on: 13 June, 2018, 05:58:35 pm »
boss's wife - the wife of your boss

bosses' wives - all the wives of all your bosses

boss's wives - all the wives of your polygamous boss

bosses' wife - one wife between multiple bosses

(I think..)
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #18 on: 13 June, 2018, 07:37:05 pm »
I got sacked from a job milking cows.

By my then - husband.

:facepalm:

Cudzoziemiec

  • Ride adventurously and stop for a brew.
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #19 on: 13 June, 2018, 07:48:00 pm »
"I always started a job with the feeling that I'd soon quit or be fired, and this gave me a relaxed manner that was mistaken for intelligence or some secret power."
Charles Bukowski
Riding a concrete path through the nebulous and chaotic future.

PaulF

  • "World's Scariest Barman"
  • It's only impossible if you stop to think about it
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #20 on: 13 June, 2018, 07:49:08 pm »
Sacked from a ski mechanic job in Thredbo for activities with the bosses' wife which weren't part of my official job description.

We have a winner, despite the apostrophe :) with an honourable mention for Pedaldog

Nick H.

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #21 on: 13 June, 2018, 10:17:43 pm »
Hired as Shimano UK Brand Manager by Madison. The director who hired me was under the impression that because my business card said IBM Marketing Representative I must be some sort of marketing whizz. Actually I was a lowly sales support oaf who knew a little about how to order stuff from the IBM behemoth. The MD, who was separated from the director, came back from his holiday with me installed, expecting some training. Yet another reason for him to re-examine his marriage. It became apparent that I had zero relevant experience. After 6 weeks I was released back into the wild.

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #22 on: 13 June, 2018, 10:26:05 pm »
I always quit before they could fire me
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #23 on: 14 June, 2018, 09:20:07 am »
I was wondering about that, is it boss' wife for singular one boss one wife and bosses' for multiple bosses and multiple wives ?

I won't mention the boss' stepdaughter.
I think that TTIUWP  ;D
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

fuzzy

Re: Jobs You Got Fired From
« Reply #24 on: 19 June, 2018, 11:09:40 pm »
As a young schoolboy I had a paper round.

One summer weekend, my parents, my brother and I were going off to the coast for the day after I had done my round. I arrived at the shop bright and early (doors still locked) adn helped to get all the bundles opf papers and mags in, set up the tables for the markers and waited for my round ot be marked up. And waited. And waited. Despite reminding the assistant manager that I had somewhereto be, I waited. After an hoiur or so, my mum phoend the shop to find out where I was as we were now running late. assistant manager said I could go home.

We had a lovely day at Margate, ice cream, candy floss, potted shromp and cockles, vimto, sand in my sandwiches. Doing all the rides at Dreamland/ Bembom Brothers.

Next morning on arrival to do my round, the manager relieved me of my bag and sacked me for going home.

Mum went and made him sorry he was born :thumbsup: