Silly Stuff You Do

[Kim]

It's the sort of incomprehensible gobbledegook my maternal grandmother would have come out with, but not one I've encountered before.

A bit of googling suggests King Cough might be whooping cough.  Skipjack is presumably a euphemism for some body part, rather than a type of boat...  But I've learned not to take medical advice from people who speak in riddles.

[Greenbank]

Skipjack is presumably a euphemism for some body part

Probably some convoluted thing like Cockney rhyming slang, i.e.

Skipjack -> Tuna -> John West -> Chest

[Legs]

Hehe, I like your thinking, Alex.

[hellymedic]

Service at the Pizza Hut we visited today was VERY slow.

While waiting for the bill, David picked up his serviette and started fondling it.

'Why are to doing that?' I asked.
'It's an Appkin. It's much thinner, cheaper and lighter than my iPhone...'

[lou boutin]

There is a village not far from here called Gnosal. The G is silent....apart from when I say it. 

Always a big fan of Gnasher me. 

Yep, we call it G-Nosal too.

[T42]

I'd be tempted to call it Nasal, pronounced Snot.

[Gattopardo]

Legs reminds me that when my daughter was younger, she had the habit of regularly vomiting, particularly where there was any potential stress involved (school dinners, she wasn't a good eater  ), and with my son having low muscle tone as well, belching at the dinner table was positively encouraged to prevent  .

We developed our own burp-fart scale, rather than Beaufort scale, logarithmic of course.  Marks out of ten were given regularly. I have the record 

Have you read Bill Bryson Neither here nor there?

[Jurek]

Various words from other languages (Spanish and French mainly but some German) get substituted pretty much all of the time.

Water -> Agua, e.g. "I'm getting the train to Agualoo."

Indeed, my 8yo told me that her teacher had asked her where she'd bought her pencil case and she'd instinctively answered "Aguastones".

   Growing up bi-lingual we'd do that sort of thing all the time.

Totally.
It's hot under the zlew.

[Gattopardo]

Mucca and moocow.

[Gattopardo]

Singing to my cat. Usually at mealtimes, typically improvised songs about how tasty cat food is.

Are you as bad as Susan Calman, who sings songs to her cat everytime she sees the cat.  The cat is called muppet, and there is a muppet song, not the muppet song.

[Gattopardo]

It's not a dishwasher, it's a wish-dosher

For devotees of Dr Spooner ...

Re: Italian pronunciation, Morecambe is forever known as ' Morri-CAM-Bay'.

The Sixties called. Can they have their comedy back?

Euston square by eyetalians always got me.