Author Topic: Sunday Times cycling bum gravy.  (Read 1822 times)

librarian

  • Quiet please
Sunday Times cycling bum gravy.
« on: 30 November, 2009, 03:37:52 pm »
I love these identikit stories. They're journalistic gold. Hit publish and watch those comments froth up like a deranged cappuccino.

It's dead easy. For the benefit of any journalists reading, let me be your muse.

Paragraph 1

Choose your poison du jour. RLJing | pavement cycling | without lights | excessive speeding | ipod-using cyclists. Stress the potential menace of this activity. No evidence is required, remember it's self-evident. Just in case, add an anecdote later.

Paragraph 2

OK, it's not entirely newsworthy that your entire article was based on a single millisecond encounter the other morning. Best you justify as some kind of new and widespread phenomenon you have just uncovered. Hoards!

Paragraph 3

OK, I know, you are a bit in danger at this point of just appearing to be ranting, and the internet is already full of ranting individuals who didn't spend three years at university fine tuning their journalistic acumen. You are a journalist. What's your motivation? OK, bad question. Reach for the rentaquote book, find Edmund King or the Taxpayer's Alliance. They have opinions on anything and everything.

Paragraph 4

OK, another danger point in your expose here - it's still a bit opinionated isn't? Time to reach for the Howitzer that is STATISTICS. OK, you're a journalist and you can't be expected to know what statistics are. Just Google some vaguely appropriate numbers. Upon noticing they make no sense, be sure to indicate that the actual numbers you'd like to use are unknown. That's fine. Numbers are numbers. Even mathematicians use imaginary numbers and yours come from Google, which makes them better.

Paragraph 5

No one believes in statistics anyway, so remember, anecdote. Someone, somewhere other than you thinks this is happening too.

Paragraph 6

Small girl | kitten | OAP was run over. By someone. And they're expecting statistics? Damn them. Surely something needs to be done.

Paragraph 6-15

Panic, I know, you need 700 words. Don't worry, the world isn't short of ill-informed and overly opinionated individuals (remember though, you already used Edmund King). Reach for the phone. And remember, pretty much anyone, given 10 minutes or so will say something suitable.

Paragraph 16

OK, single dissenting opinion time. Pick one. Keep it short. You are balanced, let the reader know it.

Paragraph 17

Bring it all together. The threat! The menace! Give it a political nuance if you can. And close it with a rentaquote. Remember, this isn't just your opinion, this is reportage.