You just don’t seem to get it, chaps. We’re not talking about a mere piece of disposable cutlery here. The spork is an ancient weapon of a gentleman traveller. Not as clumsy or random as a fork, nor as lumpen or inaccurate as a spoon; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, spork bearers were the guardians of peace and justice whilst eating their dinner.Before the dark times...