Author Topic: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread  (Read 428529 times)

andytheflyer

  • Andytheex-flyer.....
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #925 on: 19 July, 2018, 08:16:25 pm »
Who accepted the offer from his sax teacher of a lesson today at 3pm, just when the Alpe d'Huez stage was getting interesting......

Answers on a...….

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #926 on: 20 July, 2018, 08:06:04 am »
*points and laughs*  :)
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

Mr Larrington

  • A bit ov a lyv wyr by slof standirds
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #927 on: 20 July, 2018, 01:01:04 pm »
(11:30 Switches on anbaric memory-box)

Aaaaaaargh, you bastard, why haven't you recorded today's live Tour coverage?

(Prods buttons)

Because it doesn't start until 12:30, you div.  What it didn't record was the re-run of last night's highlights, because it wasn't meant to.  If my reglazed reading glasses don't turn up soon I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.
External Transparent Wall Inspection Operative & Mayor of Mortagne-au-Perche
Satisfying the Bloodlust of the Masses in Peacetime

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #928 on: 25 July, 2018, 12:19:32 pm »
There's a broken pedestal fan in the garage and my remote command centre is so hot today and my wife has the other fan. So I've moved it indoor and set it up. Broken as in it's missing the fan guard. But hey, I'm not like stupid enough to stick my arm into the rapidly whirling blades, am I?

Savlon applied.

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #929 on: 25 July, 2018, 12:33:51 pm »
Our pedestal fan is dangerouser than yours: it's got a guard on the blades but the motor housing fell to bits years ago so you can stick your fingers in it.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #930 on: 25 July, 2018, 12:43:11 pm »
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.

Beardy

  • Shedist
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #931 on: 25 July, 2018, 02:05:26 pm »
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D
For every complex problem in the world, there is a simple and easily understood solution that’s wrong.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #932 on: 25 July, 2018, 03:05:20 pm »
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #933 on: 25 July, 2018, 03:55:50 pm »
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #934 on: 25 July, 2018, 03:57:52 pm »
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

Of course you couldn't see the fan blade going round because it was going round
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

andytheflyer

  • Andytheex-flyer.....
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #935 on: 25 July, 2018, 08:47:02 pm »
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

Of course you couldn't see the fan blade going round because it was going round

Try starting twin  i/c engines on an R/C model then.  You start one, then inevitably have to reach across to start the other one....

Tell me that's not an accident waiting to happen, even if the blades are plastic of some sort.  At 8000 rpm, you don't even feel it.  DAMHIKT.

At least I now have a LiPo battery strapped to my starter motor so that I've not got any trailing wires any more.

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #936 on: 25 July, 2018, 09:18:21 pm »
It's fortunately only a plastic blade so it only removed a quantity of skin from my arm as I reached through the whirling blade to adjust the angle.
So it wasn't that you forgot the fan was there then, you were actually attempting to adjust the fan?  :facepalm: ::-) ;D

What actually happened was that as I switched it on the head of the fan flipped back (because it's not counterweighted by the fan guard). This was as I reached around to make an adjustment. It wasn't quite as divvy as I made it sound. Other than operating a fan without the guard, of course. I have been planning to fix the guard back in place for a couple of years now. I have one of those swanky overpriced Dyson thingies but my wife is is working at home and has just sequestered it (on the grounds I complained about the price, thusly I don't want it).

Of course you couldn't see the fan blade going round because it was going round

Well I could, but then it was already ouchy-ouchy territory. If it's any consolation, it was pre-coffee and I have some long haul jetlag. I should just bodge a fix with some duct tape. Or taken the Dyson from upstairs, though that would be admission that I support the purchase of a stupidly expensive fan (and Dyson is a bit of a twat).

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #937 on: 25 July, 2018, 09:41:05 pm »
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:


And now I've skinned my knuckles trying to shift a stubborn bottom bracket .  Can we start today again please ?


Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

Torslanda

  • Professional Gobshite
  • Just a tart for retro kit . . .
    • John's Bikes
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #938 on: 25 July, 2018, 09:43:13 pm »
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:

Bloody stupid place for a kip if you ask me . . .

VELOMANCER

Well that's the more blunt way of putting it but as usual he's dead right.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #939 on: 25 July, 2018, 10:48:51 pm »
Or taken the Dyson from upstairs, though that would be admission that I support the purchase of a stupidly expensive fan (and Dyson is a bit of a twat).
You could argue that the Dyson fan is worth the cost for how much more difficult it is to get your fingers caught in the blades.
Quote from: Kim
Paging Diver300.  Diver300 to the GSM Trimphone, please...

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #940 on: 28 July, 2018, 03:41:58 pm »
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

andytheflyer

  • Andytheex-flyer.....
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #941 on: 28 July, 2018, 07:02:10 pm »
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.

"points and laughs...."   ;D

TheLurker

  • Goes well with magnolia.
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #942 on: 28 July, 2018, 09:08:58 pm »
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.

"points and laughs...."   ;D
Touché.
Τα πιο όμορφα ταξίδια γίνονται με τις δικές μας δυνάμεις - Φίλοι του Ποδήλατου

barakta

  • Bastard lovechild of Yomiko Readman and Johnny 5
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #943 on: 29 July, 2018, 08:08:13 am »
When sanding down parts of a balsa airframe make sure, unless you really, really, really want engrained sooty marks on it, to pick up any sanding block except the one you use for sharpening pencils.

"points and laughs...."   ;D
Touché.

I came across a new word a friend used recently - Douché. I interpreted it as when you were being a douche and saying touché :P

ian

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #944 on: 01 August, 2018, 05:19:11 pm »
I thought I'd give my sickly laurels a dose of the hosepipe as the temperature climbs again. All going well until I decided to manoeuvre myself around to the other side of the summer house (aka posh shed) at which point, while untwisting a water retarding kink in the hose, the end got stuck in the pocket of my shorts and suddenly shot a high pressure blast of surprisingly cold water at my testicles. That was best described – charitably – as invigorating.

Gwyneth Paltrow may be big on vaginal steaming, but I'm promoting a blast of cold water to the 'nads as a top male restorative.


Pingu

  • Put away those fiery biscuits!
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Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #945 on: 01 August, 2018, 05:56:33 pm »
Douché  :thumbsup:

ElyDave

  • Royal and Ancient Polar Bear Society member 263583
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #946 on: 01 August, 2018, 09:28:17 pm »
In Surrey, you could probably charge for that kind of thing
“Procrastination is the thief of time, collar him.” –Charles Dickens

Wowbagger

  • Former Sylph
    • Stuff mostly about weather
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #947 on: 01 August, 2018, 09:36:22 pm »
Just gone out to do some emergency shopping & tripped over a sleeping policeman as I crossed the road.   Flat on my hands & knees in the middle of the road with car drivers stopping to see if I was OK  :-[


A bloodied knee & 2 scraped palms  :facepalm:

Whilst a group of us was walking to the very first session for our choral course in St. Andrews last week, one of the members sis exactly the same thing. She broke her wrist and took no part in the course, which cost her about £600. She was 10 yards from the venue at the time.
Quote from: Dez
It doesn’t matter where you start. Just start.

Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #948 on: 09 August, 2018, 08:21:54 am »
<shambles in> What am I doing here? Oh yes....

Breakfast, how wonderful is thy divness, let me count the ways.

Two eggs on two toast, coffee.

Apparently convention has it when making filter coffee that you insert the receiving jug in the appliance, who knew?
Making 2 slices of toast on a Dualit toaster involves switching the number of slices to two.
And, in order to cook eggs in a frying pan, you need to light the gas.

Every day's a school day.

<shambles off>

Andrij

  • Андрій
  • Ερασιτεχνικός μισάνθρωπος
Re: The "I'm Such a Fecking Div" Thread
« Reply #949 on: 09 August, 2018, 09:59:49 am »
You haven't woken up yet.  Go back to bed and try again.
;D  Andrij.  I pronounce you Complete and Utter GIT   :thumbsup: