...4-session tyre 
...
...or is a special made by Continental for the MEMWNS market?)
Now then, there's a thought, I think Continental could make a tyre for the MEMWNS market which could dynamically change between at least two modes:
Early evening:
Skinny and low resistance compound ensuring a fast
getaway and short route to the destination. Directionally quick to steer around flashmob badgers (apparently the new European Moose test). Tyre is completely puncture proof and during the Christmas period, emits a rumble similar to the tune of Slade's " I wish it could be Christmas everyday".
On arrival and while owner is busy rehydrating, tyres check saddle bag inventory and if necessary locates and purchases at least two Ginster products
Later, at home time:
Tyres assess whether to activate the Airplane style automatically pilot or allow the owner to be roughly in control
Compound expands to at least 50mm while deflating itself to an ice friendly PSI
Tyres follow a set distance from left hand side of the road while automatically bunny-hoping badgers, small children or pot holes
User input is mostly ignored as it guides owner home with the rumble noise changed to I-tune's lowest selling single - John Cage's 4'33"
On arrival at owner's home, front wheel leaps up allowing a smooth transition to human walking mode while shining a light to the door the owner should next walk
into through
Tyres then automatically park the bike securely in the owner's stable and sends a signal to switch all clocks within a 100 metre radius back 2 hours
The next morning the tyres agree with any of the owner's stories (though they tend to blow a valve when asked how come there's so much Essex ditch attached to the bike)
I shall email Continental forthwith
