Cycling words and phrases that annoy you

[tatanab]

It's very British, but "tester" just makes me think of gonads.

Tester came about in the early/mid 70s and was usually used in a derogatory way, as in "he's only a thick tester", as opposed to somebody who mixes different styles of racing where one has to be able to read the race.  I think the negative aspects have been lost in the mists of time - except for us old gits.

[rogerzilla]

"Evens" for a 20mph TT ride, the usual threshold between someone who's actually trying and someone on their first TT who fails to pace themselves, or someone who's brought along a fully-suspended MTB for a laugh. 

What is even with what, exactly?  60mph would be even - 1 mile per minute.

[Moleman76]

It took me a while to realize that "tubs" referred to tyres / tires and not boats or a place to bathe.

So is the unshortened version a "tub-u-lar" tyre?  and if not, why not "tubes", as in "tube-u-lar" tire?  "Sew-up" was the universal term I heard in the '70s

On the west shore of the pond,
"drafting" is what all but the 'first position' / 'first wheel' cyclist in a 'pace line' is doing. 
The others may well be "sitting in" the slipstream of the rider in front of them.
"Wheel-suckers", on the other hand, are those dastardly foes intent on letting you wear yourself out into the wind, who refuse to trade off pulls, and will outsprint you at the finish with their fresher legs.

"Chainset" - really?  but where is the chain in the collection of cranks and chainrings?

and, "Campy" -- but of course.  Back in the day, spoken with lust, as in "that bike is full Campy" or "it's full Campy, even the brakes".  Campag?  Not a west-shore term

[Joe.B]

I really hate "sportive", both as a word and as a concept.  Pseudo-races for people who've bought all the gear but aren't good enough to enter a real race.

What Rogerzilla said, above and beyond anything else mentioned upto this point.

[mr ben]

I'm with fboab; Tour de Yorkshire.  My office-mates (all locals unlike me) were thoroughly amused by "coat d' garrowby 'ill" and the like.

[Samuel D]

"Chainset" - really?  but where is the chain in the collection of cranks and chainrings?

Possibly hanging out with the chain in “chainrings”?

I agree “chainset” is a poor word, however. All of the “-sets” are. Jobst Brandt mocked them mercilessly as “set theory”, which he blamed on the British. Examples from 1995 and 2002.

[rogerzilla]

Jobst Brandt coined the nastiest of all cycling phrases to describe a Brooks saddle that has lost its shape by being ridden when wet.

"Ass hatchet" 

[Andrij]

By the way, Americans have many excellent, preferable words and language practices that I have taken to using. “Pace line” is one. Getting angry at something because it’s American is not exactly an endearing way to express your Britishness.

Amen!

And for those angry at the use of foreign words when there are English ones, I do hope you use two-wheeler instead of the Latin (via French) bicycle.

[Bledlow]

 

[Kim]

I'm with fboab; Tour de Yorkshire.  My office-mates (all locals unlike me) were thoroughly amused by "coat d' garrowby 'ill" and the like.

I reckon the rule for that sort of thing is that it should only be allowed when done ironically.  So Col de Priory Road for the annoying (but ultimately unspectacular) climb on Basil's commute^[1] is fine, but referring to a proper BRITISH hill as such when included as part of a serious road race just makes you sound like a prat.


_{[1] Not to be confused with Basil's Commute, which is the technical term for the little geese-infested cut-through at the end of Raddlebarn Farm Drive that saves tens of metres on the ride between Bournville and a certain pub.}

[Ian H]

I'm with fboab; Tour de Yorkshire.  My office-mates (all locals unlike me) were thoroughly amused by "coat d' garrowby 'ill" and the like.

And there was me thinking it was Yorkshire folk revealing an unexpected sense of humour.

[Torslanda]

'Palmares' - WTF language is that from?
'Peloton' - What's wrong with 'main group' or 'bunch'

And - most especially when misused by Sean 'Yiss, Well...' Kelly - 'classement'

Speak English, FFS!

Pourquoi?

Palmarès - c'est Français. Liste des gagnants d’un concours, d’une compétition, etc.

Not the way Shiggett and Lerwin* pronounce fucking mangle it. Certainly doesn't sound like Francais, more like the way English speaking persons try to order food & beer in Spain . . .








*Along with anyone else who yaks at length for fiveannanalf hours a day at the Tour.

[Cudzoziemiec]

BTW; how does bidon function as an adjective? IAMFI!

A bidon cage. Which naturally lends itself to being heard as a bead-on cage. Which in turn becomes a peed-on cage.

[ElyDave]

I'm with fboab; Tour de Yorkshire.  My office-mates (all locals unlike me) were thoroughly amused by "coat d' garrowby 'ill" and the like.

I reckon the rule for that sort of thing is that it should only be allowed when done ironically.  So Col de Priory Road for the annoying (but ultimately unspectacular) climb on Basil's commute^[1] is fine, but referring to a proper BRITISH hill as such when included as part of a serious road race just makes you sound like a prat.

So something like Col De Haddenham - all 20m of it, just up the road is OK?

[Cudzoziemiec]

Tour de Yorkshire: I reckon it's pretentious. Except when it's facetious. In the days when French was the language of the peloton it might have made sense, but does it now? The race known (if at all) in Britain by the perfectly sensible name Tour of Poland is referred to in its home country as Tour de Pologne. It's clearly too much to expect competitors and commentators to say Wyścig do około Polski but if they're all going to translate it into their native tongues, you might as well scrap the French for the home audience.

[Maludenbas]

There's something about 'wheelset' that I don't like either. 'Chainset' is similarly, but not quite equally, alienating to me. They are words that I, for some reason, associate with a concern for performance, words that belong to a world I don't belong to. Like triathlon or something. 

Talk to me about chains, sprockets, wheels, hubs, spokes, chainrings, cassettes, etc and I know what you're talking about. 'Chainset' and 'wheelset' just confuse me.

[tatanab]

Talk to me about chains, sprockets, wheels, hubs, spokes, chainrings, cassettes, etc and I know what you're talking about. 'Chainset' and 'wheelset' just confuse me.

Which reminds me - I dislike that cassettes apparently now have rings instead of sprockets. 
I dislike that some people change up to a lower gear (changing up to a larger sprocket).  On some forums it is necessary to read very carefully to determine exactly what the writer is on about because they could be using conventional speak (change down to a lower gear) or Newspeak.

[Cudzoziemiec]

When you change down to a higher gear, which way is that on your cassetteset?

Seriously, this up/down and high/low interchangeability is confusing. I'm not sure it's even a matter of conventional and new usage as it seems both usages have been around, if you go back far enough, coming in and out of favour over time. Even higher and lower gears are used in diametrically opposite meanings. To me, a large ring at the front and a small cog at the back is high, a small ring at the front and large cog at the back is low; to some, it's the other way round. I guess this might be explained by whether you think of the gearing in terms of ratios (whether expressed as inches, development or whatever) or as a numeric sequence.

Ed: The interchangeable usage of cog, sprocket and possibly even ring (I don't think I've heard anyone use that for the toothed wheels at the back, but I'm sure some do) might annoy an engineer, but not me!

[Polar Bear]

I see chainset as an abbreviation of a set of chainrings.   Much better than crankset imo.

Chain gang:   a group of ignoramuses who pass too close with pointy elbows and who grunt whilst peering down their collective noses at me.

Racing snake:   Usually found in the above.

Roadie:   As per racing snake.

Tail end Charlie:   The poor bugger dragged along by his overbearing mate struggling up the hills and unable to hang on to the back.

Spandex:   Clarkson grumpy old git labelling

Lycra:   Why?   Just why?  It's just clothing made for cycling. 

Seatpin:   It's a seat post in my book and always will be.   

Audax, populaire, brevet, randonnee, randonneur, grimpeur, bidon, musette, decaleur, pannier, porteur, etc.   All boringly pompous and pretentious.

Mamil:   I've been riding a bicycle for over 40 years so why have I suddenly become a figure of ridicule?   A moton inspired patronising putdown.   See what I did there?   

Clipless:   Stupid as they generally do have a mechanical clipping in device.   Strapless would I suppose sound a bit weirder though!

Aaaaargh!   Stop me now please.   

[telstarbox]

When you change down to a higher gear, which way is that on your cassetteset?

Seriously, this up/down and high/low interchangeability is confusing. I'm not sure it's even a matter of conventional and new usage as it seems both usages have been around, if you go back far enough, coming in and out of favour over time. Even higher and lower gears are used in diametrically opposite meanings. To me, a large ring at the front and a small cog at the back is high, a small ring at the front and large cog at the back is low; to some, it's the other way round. I guess this might be explained by whether you think of the gearing in terms of ratios (whether expressed as inches, development or whatever) or as a numeric sequence.

On this, does anyone else think of them as "front gears" (chainset) and "rear gears" (cassette)?

[Mr Larrington]

Which reminds me - I dislike that cassettes apparently now have rings instead of sprockets.

They do?  That is indeed a vile and heathenish practice which will be outlawed the day after I lead the Panzers down Whitehall.

As to the up/down conundrum; you change up into the bigger number, be it development or gear inches.  Anyone who does otherwise is innumerate, a The Chancellor of the Exchequer, or both.

[Cudzoziemiec]

When you change down to a higher gear, which way is that on your cassetteset?

Seriously, this up/down and high/low interchangeability is confusing. I'm not sure it's even a matter of conventional and new usage as it seems both usages have been around, if you go back far enough, coming in and out of favour over time. Even higher and lower gears are used in diametrically opposite meanings. To me, a large ring at the front and a small cog at the back is high, a small ring at the front and large cog at the back is low; to some, it's the other way round. I guess this might be explained by whether you think of the gearing in terms of ratios (whether expressed as inches, development or whatever) or as a numeric sequence.

On this, does anyone else think of them as "front gears" (chainset) and "rear gears" (cassette)?

I've heard them referred to as "2 on the left, 4 on the right". Fine in the context.

[Maludenbas]

"cassetteset"... I like it 

I'm equally confused about the correct changing up/changing down terminology. I use 'changing down' to mean becoming easier to pedal (even if I am going up the cassette) Equally, a 'bigger gear' takes me more effort to turn.

I've no idea if that's how other people understand it.

[Karla]

When you change down to a higher gear, which way is that on your cassetteset?

Seriously, this up/down and high/low interchangeability is confusing. I'm not sure it's even a matter of conventional and new usage as it seems both usages have been around, if you go back far enough, coming in and out of favour over time. Even higher and lower gears are used in diametrically opposite meanings. To me, a large ring at the front and a small cog at the back is high, a small ring at the front and large cog at the back is low; to some, it's the other way round. I guess this might be explained by whether you think of the gearing in terms of ratios (whether expressed as inches, development or whatever) or as a numeric sequence.

Ed: The interchangeable usage of cog, sprocket and possibly even ring (I don't think I've heard anyone use that for the toothed wheels at the back, but I'm sure some do) might annoy an engineer, but not me!

It's not even remotely confusing!  A high gear is the one represented by a high number, which is also the one you use to go at high speed.  This is exactly the same as the universal usage on cars: fifth gear is the high gear, it's got a high number (5) instead of a low number (1) and it is the one you use to drive at high speeds.  Additionally, it is the universal cycling usage among people who actually know, as opposed to people who've picked up their first bike an haven't sorted it out yet.

(Oh and no, talking about "a small sprocket" isn't the same as talking about "a big gear".  The latter is referring to the overall ratio you're pushing, which is different from talking about being "in the 53" or "in the 11".)

[tatanab]

Seatpin:   It's a seat post in my book and always will be.

Wrong on both accounts.  It is a saddle pillar.