Author Topic: Colonic gas  (Read 3994 times)

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Colonic gas
« on: 05 December, 2017, 03:01:57 pm »
Elsewhere on yacf
Quote
Beans & farts is a myth... sugar & farts is a reality for cyclists... I could stick a flute up my bum and play Mozart when I s

I really beg to differ!

My understanding was that flatus arose from unabsorbed fermentable foods. Beans are rich in fibre and gassiness after beans is no myth IME.

Simple sugars are mostly completely absorbed and don't reach the colon. If gels are causing trouble, it is probably due to the very high sugar concentration and osmolarity, as well as the intestinal hurry from exertion ('joggers' trots').

What does the panel think?


Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #1 on: 05 December, 2017, 03:13:35 pm »
gels are sometimes made from complex sugars that a slow to break down. They might reach the large intestine not properly broken down.
<i>Marmite slave</i>

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #2 on: 05 December, 2017, 03:16:36 pm »
True.
Wotabot BEANZ?

ian

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #3 on: 05 December, 2017, 03:25:33 pm »
Yes to beans beans the musical fruit, guaranteed to make you toot. Fibre-rich stuff will ferment slowly in your gut and cause you to emit musically. Complex carbs (mostly soluble fibre) like inulin will help you perform entire intestinal symphonies. I ate jerusalem artichoke once, and oh my god, that was a pan-cracker. Celeriac too. We're talking megaton range with a woman's voice warning everyone they have precious few minutes to reach a minimum safe distance. That's one way to empty out a branch of Waitrose.

Chris S

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #4 on: 05 December, 2017, 03:58:07 pm »
One totally uninteresting side effect of a keto diet is the lack of gas, despite eating masses of veg and salad - there's no sugar to fuel it, and one's pants are a completely parp-free zone.

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #5 on: 05 December, 2017, 05:45:37 pm »
Yes to beans beans the musical fruit, guaranteed to make you toot. Fibre-rich stuff will ferment slowly in your gut and cause you to emit musically. Complex carbs (mostly soluble fibre) like inulin will help you perform entire intestinal symphonies. I ate jerusalem artichoke once, and oh my god, that was a pan-cracker. Celeriac too. We're talking megaton range with a woman's voice warning everyone they have precious few minutes to reach a minimum safe distance. That's one way to empty out a branch of Waitrose.

Jerusalem artichokes do have something of a reputation! Apparently regular consumption accustoms the family Individual's digestive tract to them

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #6 on: 05 December, 2017, 05:53:39 pm »
Chick peas.

Zeppelin fuel.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #7 on: 05 December, 2017, 07:33:56 pm »
onions and garlic

mattc

  • n.b. have grown beard since photo taken
    • Didcot Audaxes
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #8 on: 05 December, 2017, 07:47:52 pm »
flatus arose from unabsorbed fermentable foods.

Can I borrow this piece of poetic prose?
Has never ridden RAAM
---------
No.11  Because of the great host of those who dislike the least appearance of "swank " when they travel the roads and lanes. - From Kuklos' 39 Articles

ian

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #9 on: 05 December, 2017, 08:11:39 pm »
Yes to beans beans the musical fruit, guaranteed to make you toot. Fibre-rich stuff will ferment slowly in your gut and cause you to emit musically. Complex carbs (mostly soluble fibre) like inulin will help you perform entire intestinal symphonies. I ate jerusalem artichoke once, and oh my god, that was a pan-cracker. Celeriac too. We're talking megaton range with a woman's voice warning everyone they have precious few minutes to reach a minimum safe distance. That's one way to empty out a branch of Waitrose.

Jerusalem artichokes do have something of a reputation! Apparently regular consumption accustoms the family Individual's digestive tract to them

I had them once, pureed. Oh my god. There was so much wind they ended up naming the resulting storm. Celeriac is a close second in gastric guffiness.

Beans are hit and miss. I cannot eat lentils or red kidney beans, but butter beans, haricot, and borlotti seem fine.
Chick peas are generally OK, but occasionally they just don't settle.

Other stuff is fine. Of course, as a boy, farting is my duty.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #10 on: 05 December, 2017, 09:11:10 pm »
Chick peas.

Zeppelin fuel.
+1
Such a shame!
I love hummus, falafel, poppadums and Ruff NutsTM...

Ruff Nuts are peanuts coated in gram flour flavoured with lime & chilli.

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #11 on: 05 December, 2017, 09:35:35 pm »
Oh yes, I love those foods too.

But they presage a charabang trip to Trumpton.
It is simpler than it looks.

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #12 on: 05 December, 2017, 10:41:08 pm »
Dried fruit in pastries or breakfast cereal does it for me. My own personal hole in the ozone layer.   :sick:
Not fast & rarely furious

tweeting occasional in(s)anities as andrewxclark

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #13 on: 05 December, 2017, 10:51:01 pm »
'Tis the Season to be Fruity
Toot-toot!

Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #14 on: 05 December, 2017, 11:21:48 pm »
We must of course remember that farting is almost always funny.
It is simpler than it looks.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #15 on: 05 December, 2017, 11:43:34 pm »
Only amongst boys.

I was mortified when someone decided to publicise mine at a Christmas Work Do without naming names.

I had just written that person a very supportive reference and that was my reward.

David Martin

  • Thats Dr Oi You thankyouverymuch
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #16 on: 05 December, 2017, 11:48:20 pm »
It will vary from person to person depending on you gut flora. Simply put, if you suddenly include a bunch of foods that your gut flora are not adapted to then there will be consequences and waste products. Diet sets the playing field upon which the bugs will party and if you distort it there will be consequences.
"By creating we think. By living we learn" - Patrick Geddes

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #17 on: 06 December, 2017, 01:15:26 am »
Back when I used white powder in my bottle for audaxes, I used to get lots of gas for the first few rides every year. Beans on toast never had the same effect.

flatus arose from unabsorbed fermentable foods.
Onions and garlic, straight from the horse's mouth.  ;)

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #18 on: 06 December, 2017, 02:39:09 am »
Back when I used white powder in my bottle for audaxes, I used to get lots of gas for the first few rides every year. Beans on toast never had the same effect.

flatus arose from unabsorbed fermentable foods.
Onions and garlic, straight from the horse's mouth.  ;)

Onions and garlic have SH groups for added pungency...

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #19 on: 06 December, 2017, 08:55:04 am »
Simple sugars are mostly completely absorbed and don't reach the colon.

Unless you're on metformin or acarbose, in which case Skid Row Flora throws a party and you turn into a whoopee cushion.

A concomitant effect of this is the aerated turd, i.e. normal intestinal content but inflated like Mr. Whippy ice-cream. It takes up a lot of volume, backs up a long way and batters really hard at the sphincter when it finally (and suddenly) decides it wants to go see the rest of the world.

The annoying thing about taking drugs regularly is that it takes a week to get rid of them, so unless I lay off a couple of days before a ride I'm more or less assured of such unpleasant effects when I use sports drinks or eat fast carbs.

Oh, jolly.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

T42

  • Apprentice geezer
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #20 on: 06 December, 2017, 09:00:37 am »
We must of course remember that farting is almost always funny.

I thought it was such sweet sorrow.

Our dogs confirm the axiom "food in, fart out".  They eat at 6 pm, and hold aroma-therapy sessions in the lounge every evening, starting at 8.
I've dusted off all those old bottles and set them up straight

Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #21 on: 10 December, 2017, 02:40:36 pm »
I'm currently enjoying a (so far) 3 day bout of Norovirus, courtesy of my children.

I've just done  what was possibly the biggest fart of my lifetime, of such magnitude and length that I actually had time  midway to start panicking.

Just as well that I was seated at the time as it was swiftly followed by a gush.

To the casual observer, I would have given the impression of having consumed pint upon pint of coffee milkshake.


Jaded

  • The Codfather
  • Formerly known as Jaded
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #22 on: 10 December, 2017, 02:42:57 pm »
Good practice for the Bowel Cancer Screening.
It is simpler than it looks.

hellymedic

  • Just do it!
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #23 on: 10 December, 2017, 03:11:22 pm »
Good practice for the Bowel Cancer Screening.

Depends on the age.
I think I'm due for poo sticks next year, having had the others 4 years ago...

Eccentrica Gallumbits

  • Rock 'n' roll and brew, rock 'n' roll and brew...
Re: Colonic gas
« Reply #24 on: 12 December, 2017, 12:53:17 pm »
Artichokes? Fartichokes, more like.
My feminist marxist dialectic brings all the boys to the yard.