I confess, I tipped some ready made casserole veg into the slow cooker earlier because otherwise I'll have half a swede (and not the best half, sadly it's illegal to keep an actual Swede in your fridge, and more so to chop them in half first, not to mention a terrible international slight) in my fridge forever. So I'm justifying that particular sin.
Maybe a mango, though I'm a mango ninja, but I think we all appreciate that I'm not everyone. Pomegranates are a bit annoying, there's a lot of thwack-thwacking to get the seeds out and it's a well-known fact that if you eat a bit of the white stuff your insides will fizz out and you'll die. Is it worth taking the chance? Probably not. But I do like pomegranate seeds. I can eat them in quantity and they're nice in salads (try them with feta, honest), and even to spruce up a gin and tonic (preferably an old tom, or something spicy might work against the sweetness). I think I just wrote the most middle-class sentence ever. Don't tell my mum, my pikey inheritance is at stake.
Anyway, having duly undermined my rant, it's the other prepared stuff. Pre-sliced and chopped onions. I mean, seriously, there are people too busy or incompetent to chop an onion? Oh I know, someone will be around in a minute to say 'what about disabled people, those who have lost their arms in horrific crocodile encounters, what about them, eh, you callous and discriminatory fuckjubbin.' I mean the people in Tesco. The troll-faced ones. You've seen them. I suggest we wait for them to pick up the offending article and then push them over into the freezer and bury them in frozen ready-baked potatoes (another wtf thing, or so the Guardian tells me, though they could be messing with me, even a stoned student can nuke a spud in the microwave).
